Well hello there.

Ok Mr.Engineer I trust you!! But the concept in itself does make sense!

We trust you : ) Vanz, If you have any questions about YWS you can PM me! (Trust me, I know almost everything. I've been here for three years. )

Thank you, no problem! I Think I might even start my wordpress up again

Hai.
I swear I;m not stabbing you.
Kbai.

But seriosuly, hello and welcome to crazy little YWS.

Hey, Vanz!
Remember me?
I think we fought over on the 'last person to post here wins' thread!
I know this is WAY too late but welcome!
I'm sure you understand the ropes of this site by now!
Although...I'm still a little lost.
I read your works and they're AWESOME!
And...like Skye said...sad is sometimes not that sad!

Haha, thanks for the welcome and for the ones wondering how progress on my first novel is, well gotta wait.

Think I'm better of making some more shorts and add some more notes to the collection for the novel.

Practise makes perfect so I'll fly with that for the moment.
Speaking of which everybody with critique on my current short (see my signature or the short stories section) please do cause all bits help =].

Hey, I've seen it already.
I liked the story a lot, it was REALLY interesting!
The descriptions were really good.
Your writing was super-flowy!
All in all, it was really good.
Plus, you made me a super important lady that eventually died heroically(kinda...I mean she looked cool when she died)
Who wouldn't want that?
The first part, while she was dying, you could have taken away some of the unnecessary descriptions and similes.
Those kind of things in action scenes prolong the moment and that's false. Action scenes are quick and ruthless. No picking out details when a stone column is falling down on top of ya.
Don't get me wrong, it was good. Just, take care of the unneccesary words.
And you have one or two spelling mistakes and some missing commas.
I suggest you check back on those.

I can't believe how long this is! Anyway, your story was still awesome, keep writing, and if you could hint out if anything special happened after the ending of the story, I'd be much appreciated!

Aqua!! I can always trust you to find the new people!!
Hey Vanz!! I read your story too and I really like it!! I kinda agree with Aqua but I always do.I was trying to pm you but it didn't work!! Also I posted something too!! It's a song called In The Silent Movies .I suck at posting links but you should be able to find it quite easily.Please post a review!Oh and read the explanation at the bottom first!

aqua1213 wrote:Hey, I've seen it already.
I liked the story a lot, it was REALLY interesting!
The descriptions were really good.
Your writing was super-flowy!
All in all, it was really good.
Plus, you made me a super important lady that eventually died heroically(kinda...I mean she looked cool when she died)
Who wouldn't want that?
The first part, while she was dying, you could have taken away some of the unnecessary descriptions and similes.
Those kind of things in action scenes prolong the moment and that's false. Action scenes are quick and ruthless. No picking out details when a stone column is falling down on top of ya.
Don't get me wrong, it was good. Just, take care of the unneccesary words.
And you have one or two spelling mistakes and some missing commas.
I suggest you check back on those.

I can't believe how long this is! Anyway, your story was still awesome, keep writing, and if you could hint out if anything special happened after the ending of the story, I'd be much appreciated!

Thanks a ton! Its great to hear you like it. The super-flowy way is the only way if you ask me every time I'm on that track I just totally zone-out.

Think I found the unnecessary words you're talking about, going to leave them in this one though. The commas need to be fixed yes, thanks for pointing it out and the spelling mistakes, found em.

Hey, no problem! And I was glad I could help!