Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
This was a very interesting start to the story. You have specified this as a prolog and I have to say, this is something that I would definitely want to read. Your writing style is simple, yet descriptive and you paint really vivid picture with just your words. I liked how you have not limited yourself to the conventional use of a simple adjective to describe your setting, but you have really delved deep into it, trying to make the picture as clear to as possible.
He was a tall man, but broad.
I generally do not start right away with the description of a character. It reads too much like the children's books that want to get straight down to the point. However, since you have really established your setting here in the next paragraph, starting with a description does not give the story the same hurried pace. However, I do think that maybe you could have introduced us with the character before telling us what he looks like.
If you mustn't accept Benjamin's offer, than you should find yourself a suitable Career benefiting your experiences and gender.
It is very obvious from this very first and only interaction that there is a lot of differences between the father and daughter. They do not see eye-to-eye on all subjects and it is quite evident that her father is rather rigid minded in terms of what role a woman should play in society. He is quite backward in his beliefs, and I cannot find any other reason why he would object to his daughter pursuing a career in law.
Also, through this simple interaction, you have established the period of the story. You have not exactly provided us with a timeline, but his opinions and views reflect that he does not belong to the modern times where society is a lot more liberating and men and women are viewed as equals. And from the fact that they were also discussing marriage proposals, I think I have some idea of the era they inhabit in the story.
Through the weather, Beatrice could see several blue coated men patrolling the area, their faces hidden under matching coloured broad hats, nudging their thick blooded stallions in the side with sharp cutting spurs.
People cannot really look through 'weather', so your use of the expression is not very accurate here. Try replacing it with some other words. For example, you can write it as: "Through the heavy curtain of snow, Beatrice could see several blue coated men patrolling the area, their faces hidden under matching coloured broad hats, nudging their thick blooded stallions in the side with sharp cutting spurs."
That way, you have a nice description and it sounds better as well. At the end of the day, its your choice, of course.
Overall, this was a really great start. Already, we have two opposing and complex characters, a difficult father-daughter relationship, conflict and purpose. These are all elements of a good novel and I can't wait to see what you come up with.
Keep writing and have a great day!
Points: 82352
Reviews: 659
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