Back To Our Roots

However, there is hope. There is a chance for us to change. Less drastically than I would hope
Well, you shouldn't use 'hope' hjere twice... it brings it down. I like the rest of the paragraph though!

\The next paragraph should be you telling us what we can do... just going out into the world isn't enough. You seem to have missed that. In fact, you should give us 3 good reasons and procedures on how we can change the world.

Only of I acted differently than the human way, selflessness is my goal.
This doesn't make sense... even if yuo change 'of' to 'if'

I like the ending though!

Well... one last comment. You seem to have strayed away from the topic. You start off:
'Everyone needs to have a chalenge in their life that turns them into a man'
Then you end:
'Go and enjoy life'
They are two completely unrelated topics... you need to watch out for that when writing!

Okay, first of all, this is good. The first sentence catches my attention, and the second states what you are here for and what you are doing. You need to watch your slang though. Observe:

[We/You] Don’t hear about the grueling task of a boy fighting to become a man [any more].

If we look to the past, we learn that becoming a man was [s]something[/s] a status that you had to earn; [s]something[/s] one that [s]you[/s] everyone had to achieve [s]on your own[/s] individually. Now, [s]I read somewhere that in life[/s] [s]it’s[/s] it is important not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.
See how better that flows? When you say: 'I read somewhere' that means that it it 'soft evidence'. When writing an essay, you are trying to inform someone of your view, or the way that things are. You want 'hard evidence'; kind of like a metaphor.
You had:
Now, some people think that it might not be people wanting to be strong; they want to feel strong.
With hard evidence;
It isn't important to be strong; just to feel strong.
Also, if you read something you have written back to yourself, then put italics on what you emphasize.

We all must measure ourselves at least once in the most ancient of human conditions: facing the wild, alone, with nothing but your mind and body to save you.
How exactly do you go about enforcing this? Are you writing to inform the reader on what is happening, or what needs to be done? If the latter, then keep it, and expand on how you would go about this. If the former, then you can get rid of it!

With the rapidly depleting forests, and the constantly rising obesity rate.
This is a secondary clause; an add on to a sentence. It doesn't make sense without a main clause.
Observe:

With the rapidly depleting forests, and the constantly rising obesity rate, people aren't getting their fist-fist experience.

(Both clauses)

People aren't getting their fist-fist experience.

(main clause)

With the rapidly depleting forests, and the constantly rising obesity rate.

(Secondary clause)

You need the main clause to make sense of the sentence, or else it doesn't work! I'm sorry, My computers' screwing up... I'll post the rest in another post!

Overall, a great piece. It definitely expresses some (I believed needed) idealism, that our generation often tends to lack. I did get a little annoyed with the use of the word "We" to start three sentences (which are fairly close to one another) in the second paragraph. You had "We all," two sentences, and then two others that began with "We." I know it's a small issue, but I struggle with doing that myself so it tends to annoy me. Otherwise I thought it was excellent.

Here as requested. *bows* What I really want to do is dive in and do a line by line critique, at least where problems are present. So, shall I begin.

There is a time in life, where one finds themselves staring the face of death in the eyes, with nothing to save them but their bare hands and their intellect.

In modern society, we no longer see these right of passage voyages.

Don’t hear about the grueling task of a boy fighting to become a man.

You are considered a man when you can drive, drink, and the first time you are with a woman

You are considered a man when you can drive, drink, and the first time you are with a woman.

Thanks a bunch. N i get what you mean about the personal experience bit, and i will incorporate it into further pieces. This was mostly just a reflection piece that i just kind of wrote when i was inspired

Hey Zorah! You have an excellent piece here that really has me pumped to go help the world and change the future. You have some very idealistic views here, but is it simply wishing something that can't be done? I don't think so.

Nit-Picks:

With the rapidly depleting forests, and the constantly rising obesity rate.

If we look to the past, we learn that becoming a man was something that you had to earn...something that you had to achieve on your own.

One person at a time, that’s how we will change our ways...one person at a time.

Challenge yourself. Explore, and become enlightened. But most of all, care for those who are less fortunate than you are.