Does anyone know her
Does anyone know her?
does anyone care,
that she's a strong willed girl
putting others before her,
with utmost manners
and very tolerant too.
she was as forgiving as she was kind,
with a bright smile on her tear stained face
knowing how it felt to love.
but
did you know
That fairies were her freinds,
bullies were her foes,
her mail box full of hatred,
even from people she didn't know.
Her mother always shunned her.
Her father who was he?
She knew no parenting love,
let alone her family tree.
Her face was an open book,
if anyone bothered to read.
A book in a foreign language,
with millions of word to say.
Words if she choose to speak,
nobody would want to hear
and thats why her fountains run dry,
cause nobody cared.
Her anger didn't show,
until the very end.
For at that moment things got better,
she THOUGHT she found a freind.
But that "freind" stabbed her back,
and the cut went deep.
Till her anger patched her wounds
and her heart took a nasty turn.
Her cherub self was buried away,
probably never to see the light of day.
Did anyone know her?
Did anyone care?
Because if you saw her now you wouldn't know her
and probably still wouldn't care.
Yes, she knew how it felt to love,
But she didn't know how it felt to be loved.
Hey Zohali! I've never actually read any of your writing before this, and I wish I had because this is wonderful! I love how straightforward it is, yet it still is very poetic and uses great metaphors. I also like how it tells a story throughout the poem and expresses deep emotion at the same time.
I did not find many corrections, however you did spell the word friend wrong in the second stanza.
ALso, I would like to say how amazing I think it is that you sort of repeated the first two lines of your poem in the last stanza, only made it past tense. I think that really wrapped up the poem well and was a good closing.
This is a truly amazing poem! Great job!
Thanks!
Hey Zohali! I've never actually read any of your writing before this, and I wish I had because this is wonderful! I love how straightforward it is, yet it still is very poetic and uses great metaphors. I also like how it tells a story throughout the poem and expresses deep emotion at the same time.
I did not find many corrections, however you did spell the word friend wrong in the second stanza.
ALso, I would like to say how amazing I think it is that you sort of repeated the first two lines of your poem in the last stanza, only made it past tense. I think that really wrapped up the poem well and was a good closing.
This is a truly amazing poem! Great job!
I actually really like this poem because unlike most poems (which I spend a long long time trying to figure out the meaning), it's straightforward, and easy read and yet it still manages to pull on a heart string.
Favourite part :
"Her face was an open book,
if anyone bothered to read.
A book in a foreign language,
with millions of word to say."
Absolutely brilliant. Its like one of those things when the writer edges on to one thing and then goes, "Aha! Its actually _____," if you know what I mean.
Also, after that favourite part of mine, what did you mean by "her fountains"?
Small reminder, you spelled friend wrong in some parts. Proofreading would do it.
Anyways, I like this poem and good job
i can't edit it sorry. i have to re-write it if i try sorry please try to ignore it.