Published March 13, 2006
Weirdo. Pixie. Demon. Elf. Ella had been called all these things in her 12 years of life-even before she could understand her parents had been ridiculed for there strange daughter.
Ella was the middle child of 5 siblings, Megan, Alexa, Ryan and Gary. 4 perfectly normal children and one freak wasn't so bad her parents reasoned.
But then one day Ella died and everyone she knew died with her. 4 out of 5 is bad.
And that children is why you must never get less than a 85% on a test. BEWARE!
I need to work on writing short SHORT stories with a plot and climax.[/i]
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Okay so this one was just a random dump of random words that somehow seem to be making just a little bit of sense but not really. As in I don't really understand what is actually going on here all that well but I do detect the merest whispers of a potential plot.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well that was kind of a very rushed sounding opening that you have there. It doesn't make a ton of sense but it is pretty relatable. One thing though, being called a Pixie or an Elf doesn't really sound bad but maybe that's just my opinion.
Okay....that was kind of just stated without any context or really anything at all.
Uh...okay...they died and that's it? No explanation of how or why or anything? Aftermath? Reaction of parents?
*looks around nervously*
Hmm...you could looks into nano fiction if you really have trouble with this. Those are usually one line long and don't really need to have a plot and a climax.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: So...uhh...what do I say? It's a very short review for a very short piece. This is just like an outline almost. I think my actual basic plot outlines are longer and have more detail than this but...this is still a pretty interesting idea and it would have been nice to see what sort of a story could be made out of this.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thats my problem; i never seem able to end a story properly with the begining climax and end. I always get long winding storys that i get bored of before the end.
this is good.
i actually had a sister called ella who died, so when i read this it reminded me of her.
but yeah, this is good, it was the name that got my attention.
this has potential for a story but as hekategirl says it does sound like pure randomness.
Ok, this seems more like Randomness then actual story...the beginning is actually pretty good, you could make a story out of it. But when you said "Then Ella dies" I'm like, Ok what is THIS about...