Young Writers Society

thanks for the review. you're right about the meaning of moksha. it does mean release/liberation, particularly in the spiritual sense. in hinduism, buddhism (which i occasionally subscribe to) and jainism, moksha is the release of the atman from the cycle of life, death, and reincarnation. it is the liberation of the atman, and the achievement of nirvana, although the meaning and method to achieving it can vary according to the religion. but anyway, about the poem...

this is going to sound so artistically pompous, but i actually intentionally de-capitalized the "i", for the reason of focusing less on the concept of the self. i thought that the self should be secondary to the overall spirit that accompanies this poem. i actually wrote my magnum opus, a letter to a special lady, right before righting this poem. i can say with certainty that a god-like creative essence or spirit possessed me during the writing of that letter, so i was coming off a very big writing high. this poem may be meant to accompany the letter, although they can be appreciated separately. but this is merely an after-effect, a fleeting representative of the enormous beauty of my letter. if anyone wants to read it, i'll redirect you to my website, where it is available for all to see. i consider it my best work. but regardless, i enjoyed writing this poem. i'd been thinking a lot about Hindu mythology and mysticism, and i really let it out in Moksha Pt. 1 and 2. i might post Pt. 2 later, but it's not really up to my standards. it was really a lot of references to ancient mythology and my own personal experiences, which makes it a pretty boring read for the average joe. but i just wrote another poem, which i have posted elsewhere, which some people might enjoy. anyway, thanks for the comment, and i hope this answers any questions anyone has about it.
see you around,
sam

Hey there Zalarus! I'm not sure if I've reviewed you before; but I'm June.

I found this piece, and I wasn't expecting much from it as I opened it. But! This exceeded my expectations, and this, dear, is brilliance.

The structure here is beautiful. I love the overhanging lines (I'm sort of a structure freak, haha). The only small thing I would suggest is capitalizing the pronoun I when you use it. I understand that this poem is uncapitalized, but, since God and East (and a few other words) are capitalized, it could work if you capitalize I. It's up to you . Just a small suggestion.


So! I hope I am correct, but, I believe that Moksha means the same thing as Mukti, meaning release or let go?

If so, I'm finding this closely related to Hindu meditation. I really like how you wrote this. It does seem to carry the feel of "letting go". In a strange way, it reminds me of protests begging for liberation.

I really love the imagery you're using here, especially the lapis lazuli metaphor. This poem has so much emotion in it-- it's so many things at once; self realization, interpretation, desire-- it's complete Also, this:

some mysterious unspeakable ****.

Sidere mens eadem mutato