Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Yubbies21,
This is an interesting form that your poem has taken - it's almost like it's drifting across the page/site. One thing that I would suggest would be to avoid all caps and underlining words as those are gimmicks that detract rather than enhance meaning of the poem. Also, try to avoid using redundant/repetitive words. For example, in the first two lines you have repetitive uses of the word "nice" - where you can easily find a better word that might describe the feathers or the feelings and add a lot more detail or texture to the poem.
That being said, I love the concept of this poem, I think dream catchers are a great subject to write about. I only wish you could've taken it further, perhaps, or gone deeper or more specific. Maybe write about a specific dream? Or a specific person? Rather than generalities. I do love how you experiment with form and tone!
Great job and keep writing!
~ as always, Audy
I liked this a lot! The line breaks seemed very natural and the flow was great. I did notice that "sinu" should be spelled "sinew," but that was it. Really nice!
I'll definitely tell my friend! She'll love it!