My Dark Angel- Prologue

by youngwolf1105

Published September 28, 2011

In My Dark Angel

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Life had never meant much to me. I'd been careless, reckless even, if there was a difference. I just hadn’t cared. But that all changed within a week. Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life. Even though, I can’t call it normal or ordinary.

Comments & reviews · 14
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kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Sep 15, 2021

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Life had never meant much to me. I'd been careless, reckless even, if there was a difference. I just hadn’t cared. But that all changed within a week. Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life. Even though, I can’t call it normal or ordinary.


Hmm, well this has got to be one of the shortest prologues that I've personally run into...and it does definitely read like a prologue, despite being the size of a blurb, this one wouldn't really work out as a blurb. I'm almost wondering if this was meant to be just the first paragraph of the prologue and is a bit incomplete, but then this is also capable of standing alone.

This short piece here does manage to capture quite a lot of emotion here, which is certainly quite interesting to see. You can see that our protagonist here is someone that was perhaps stuck in a bit of a rut in life or just had gone through some pretty bad situations and as a result ended up not quite caring for their life all that much, but now we see this story is going to focus on how that flips around completely. I really like the way you show that this person's life was introduced to something quite out of what is considered normal but somehow it made itself seem ordinary to them from how it happened. That certainly opens up some interesting questions.

Overall, this was a pretty fun piece right here. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

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adorkableXxme Review
adorkableXxme wrote a review Review · Nov 6, 2011

It got me kind of interested but it's really short, you should think of maybe making it a little longer, or maybe this can be the little summary you always read on the back of the books. Anyways, it was pretty good so I think I'll read chapter 1 now. Good luck in future writings, Hunn.

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youngwolf1105
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youngwolf1105 commented Comment · Oct 10, 2011

Thanks, I can't tell you how many times I've wrote different ones, but none of them fit just right.

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Rydia
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Rydia wrote a review Review · Oct 9, 2011

Hi! Sorry I didn't respond to this earlier, if I'd looked at how short it is, I'd have come sooner! But never mind, here's a few things for you to consider:

1. Tense! Okay so this would be much more powerful in present tense, which can be a little tricky, but since it's going to be a prologue, you could have just this section in present an then change for the main story. Look, I'll show you just how cool itt would be. First, here's yours:

Life had never meant much to me. I'd been careless, reckless even, if there was a difference. I just hadn’t cared. But that all changed within a week. Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life. Even though, I can’t call it normal or ordinary.


And in present tense...

Life didn't mean much to me. I didn't care, have never cared. I'm what you might call reckless. It's strange, how a short, sweet week can change that. But now I open my eyes and I don't want to die, I want to live like ordinary people. Not that my life is anything you could call ordinary.

Okay so it's rough and a bit quick but get the idea?

2. This seems more like a synopsis than a prologue? That's the writing which goes on that back of the book and makes people want to read it. But hey, it's got a certain intrigue about it.

3. It's too short to say anything else ;)

Well there you go, maybe that's given you something to think about at least :)

Heather xxx

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Maelstrom Review
Maelstrom wrote a review Review · Oct 5, 2011

I think it's a good prologue. Short but sweet. I like it and I really want to know what your character's story is. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE LIKE TWILIGHT!!!! As long as its original and you keep going on the track that you seem to be on right, I think you got a good book on your hands. G.E.W.D gewd

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youngwolf1105
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youngwolf1105 commented Comment · Sep 29, 2011

thanks for the reviews ya'll! i really appreciate it! i wanted to make it way longer, but i couldn't really figure out how without repeating something. hey, watingforlife, thanks for the advice about the "then", i hadn't saw it intill you pointed it out, thanks!

WaitingForLife wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2011

Hey!

So I'm gonna do the obvious think and point out that it might be a bit too short. But then again, I did want to know what happened next, so that might not be a problem cause it worked how it was supposed to. Size doesn't always matter.

I've one critique. I'd cut the 'then' in:

Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life.

It seems sort of useless, as then means the same as after that. And having merely 'after that' would flow better from the previous sentence.

But yeah, even though this was short, it makes you want to read more. I admit, this is soooort of a clichéd start, but you know what? It's clichéd because it works, and people have noticed it. So I don't see a big problem there either. Tell me when the first chapter is up if you would!

|Life|

theLockedLibrary wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2011

Wow, that was really short! Haha, but it was still really wonderful. I think you've captured a sense of mystery very well, and I can't wait to read more of it! But, since this is a review, I would advise you to change the "prologue" in your title to "epigraph." I suppose you could call it a prologue if you would like, but if it really is, then it definitely should be longer. Also, a prologue is, well, how do I put this? More of a "pre-scene" in the story. An epigraph would describe this much better since it suggests a theme. One last thing. In "Then after that..." there should be a comma after "that".
Otherwise, I liked it a lot! I'll be glad to review more of your work! =D

FutureFamousWriter wrote a review Review · Sep 28, 2011

i'm hooked! what a great prologue! my prologue for one of my stories is really short too, so don't worry too much about how short it is. i'll post it for you to check out- its called World War 3 prologue. check it out if you want to.

:)

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youngwolf1105
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youngwolf1105 commented Comment · Sep 28, 2011

thanks for the advice, i don't always have that problem. This is the shortest prologue i've ever written.... scratch that, it's not!

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Deathcurrent
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Deathcurrent commented Comment · Sep 28, 2011

You might want to add just a smidgen more to the prologue. Then it will be a nice short prologue with the benefit of being longer to get us readers thinking, while keeping it mysterious.

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youngwolf1105
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youngwolf1105 commented Comment · Sep 28, 2011

i know it's really short, but i like to make it really mysterious. i'm working on typing out the 1st chapter!

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Island6
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Island6 commented Comment · Sep 28, 2011

Wow, that's a really short prologue! Honestly, you might as well just make it a part of the first chapter since it's so short. It was interesting though. Makes me wonder what happened to your main character to make them change.

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youngwolf1105
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youngwolf1105 commented Comment · Sep 28, 2011

This in only a little bit. I'd decided to break this apart from the 1st Chapter.



This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer