I never knew how empty my life was before you. And now there's a void, and I don't know what to do except wait for someday.
Someday, someone will look at me the way you look at her. I'll feel better than I did everytime I saw you.
I'm not perfect. We wouldn't look as good as you two together. But I know who I am, and though that's not much, although that's not good enough for you... You'll see, someone will love me enough to accept me this way. Someday I'll find someone who won't make me change, make me act like I'm better than I am. Because I'm not changing for anybody, not even my future husband. I deserve that much.
Life is all you make it out to be, ha. Yeah right. Everyone makes it seem like it will all be worth it. Most of the time it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up, and hope that what you want will happen, cause life knows no guarantees.
But regardless, I still hope for someday. Because there's gotta be someone out there for me. My prince charming is out there. And I'll need him more than an airplane needs fuel to fly. I'll need him more than the sun needs to shine.
For him: I may not know you yet. But I will. Someday. Somewhere. Somehow. And I will be your dream come true.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay, off to an interesting start there, it does catch your attention there with the tone, it appears to be someone just had a break up of some sort and this seems to be one of the rarer situations in stories where it looks like they are taking it as something to try and move on from without there being any extra scary things happening in the background. It sounds quite sweet actually there, this person having come to terms with things and looking to move on. There is of course the tinge of sadness there too, and the whole empty void situation does do a nice job there conveying this was something quite important but you do get the sense that there's no hard feelings there.
Okay, that actually turned into something quite inspiring there, it reads like someone who hasn't perhaps been dealt the best hand by this person they used to be with, but is now trying to accept all that and move on and try to live a good life...that second paragraph does seem to hint at perhaps this person having accepted to themselves that life is not going to be good...which is a little troubling there, it definitely builds up to be an interesting piece of information there...and something like that is assume is perhaps what this story is going to continue on about here.
Aright, that took a different turn again, everything being closed out on a much more hopeful note here...which makes for a nice little ending here to this first part here, with a little touch of inspiration here. At any rate, this seems like a story I would potentially read here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Timmy here for a quick review!
How I review is I go through and review as I read, so nitpicks shall be first!
Nitpicks
Faving time and Style
So this was a really neat story, almost like a poem in a subtle way... I really liked it. I think the way you write it makes it emulate a letter, as if you are writing it to this boy you loved... I like how much you get into such a short piece. You put so much feeling into your words, I can only assume that this really did happen to you...
I think my favorite part would be this line...
Well, I hope you do find your Prince Charming in time.
Keep writing! I look forward to more of your pieces in the future...
~Darth Timmyjake
That was quite a piece about devotion and hopes for the future. It is great when there are women who are independent and eager to be apart of something greater at the same time. It is even better when there are men who don't feel like they have to change a woman in order to make them theirs. Life is a wonderful gift and it should not be taken so lightly. Perhaps this girl will find the boy of her dreams one day.
Okay, while I found this piece to be moving, I was left with a lot of questions. The way this was set up made me feel like this was a rushed short story rather that a chapter in a book. Mostly due to the lack of description and even setting. Unless this is a prologue, that's one thing, but so far I have no idea what the characters look like and I didn't even realize the character's gender until I read "future husband". Not even any names which is somewhat bothersome. Also the only "setting" I can really make out at the moment is the inside of some girl's brain, but even so, description is a vital part of a story and this piece is lacking in that quality. This story has potential and so I feel like you should revise this and be more descriptive in terms of setting, physical appearance, and characterization. Go through these pointers and I have confidence that this will turn into a cute readable love story.