z

Young Writers Society



the Writer

by young_artyst


Sitting alone
In a bubble of Serenity
Music is Playing
People are Painting
Imagination is churning
Pleading for inspiration
Staring out the window
Blocking out noise
Watch the people
In the half-light
Not doing what is supposed to be done
Tapping the keyboard
Erasing the words
To change them again and again
Sitting at the computer
With words that don’t fit
Trying to create a poem
Wishing for respite
But something must be done
Before a break for lunch
Imagery is lacking
The coffee has turned cold
The pen has run out of ink
The night creeps so nearer
And still
Nothing’s clearer
Waiting for the words
To shape the piece of work
That somehow has to come
Hitting the plastic
A tapping of letters
But still there’s no sense on the screen
Wipe the slate clean
Again, and again
To create with the simplest tools
Bending a weary head
The writer goes to write
And fails
Suffering from that thing
Called Writer’s Block
Leaves for an hour
Comes back
And still, nothing
Lists out possibilities
Throws them all away
Left with nothing
But possibilities
Long discarded, in favour
Of nothing else
The writer is writing
And failing
To please
The writer
Has written
A poem


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Points: 1245
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Fri Mar 18, 2011 7:26 pm
lele253isme wrote a review...



I like this poem and I can relate to this in some sense. I really like the stanzas and the way you collected the words and put them together in an easy and understanding way. I can't say my favorite lines because I liked them all. Also, I think that you could dig a little deeper to find more words. Thats all, keep writing




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210 Reviews


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Fri Aug 03, 2007 11:16 am
Meep wrote a review...



young_artyst wrote:But still there’s no sense on the screen
Wipe the slate clean

I really like this line, and the last ("The writer is writing" through "a poem"). :D The line I quoted is very lyrical; it's got a nice rhyme and good imagery.

For suggestions, I've gotta agree with Penguin: this really could use a few line breaks; it's hard on the eyes to read something like that.
Another grammatical thing I noticed is that you capitalize random words; I've a friend who does the same thing, so don't feel bad, just try to keep an eye out for it.

Lastly, I think this is an improvement over the last couple of poems I've read by you. Keep up the good work.




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Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:51 am
PenguinAttack wrote a review...



o.0 I have to say first off that this is a very long poem for no breaks. I understand that the intended flow may be altered from some distinct segmentation, but it is hard on the eyes, and the mind, to read so much in one block, regardless of how many words there are to a sentance.

It seems, to me, that this is a poem telling a story... obviously lol. It seems to drag on, with no end in sight, you know? I think, with some basic paragraphing and some light editing of lines (extracting those unnecessary?) this may improve. That said, I myself am not much better hehe. Possibly worse. I think you have major potential, some reigning in would be muchas helpful no?

Keep it up =D





The only person I know for certain I am better than is the person I used to be.
— CandyWizard