z

Young Writers Society



please i want opinions

by you_really_suck


anything to feel

something has clouded my mind
it's as if i'm not there
just a spiritless body
it's like a dream
where everything seems like reality
my eyes are clouded over
i can't concentrate anymore
i feel no emotion
the world passes by me
my soul has left me
it crumbled before me
but i didn't notice
i was distracted
by what i don't know
but i have to get out of here
find an escape from this state
anything to feel again


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447 Reviews


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Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:08 pm
Duskglimmer wrote a review...



Testing out the site, huh? I did that when I first got here too... *looks innocent*

but anyway... my opinion: It was another teen agnst poem... it portrayed what was being felt, but didn't bring anything new to the idea. It was good, but nothing made it stand out in my mind from all the other poems that I have read on this subject.




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Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:09 am
you_really_suck says...



this isn't my best work i know i just put it up as a test i guess you can say




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Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:07 am
Elizabeth wrote a review...



Well I could see whaere you weretrying to go with this... but it's midnight here, let's see my focus skills...

It was good, although I somehow felt like you were repeating yourself over and over with different words... usually people do that and it adds on but this was somewhat.... ehh.... bland not the best, not the worst, just good. i'll have to come back later when I'm not hyper to sleep....




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Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:04 am
Sam says...



Uhm...OK then.

Very Simple Plan, which could be a compliment or an insult, depending on the way you look at it. You wanted opinions, but if you want a critique, I can help you a bit with it, probably.





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