Published November 23, 2005
Through our bleeding
Through the sea of blood
our eternal bath
the darkness flows
as we feel it’s wrath
and as we wither
in our shame
the demons of life
laugh at our pain
the ravens of our deepest fears
have come and gone through the years
as these angels of death
fulfill out wishes
to become subdued
in their ghastly kisses
and through our bleeding
we are one
for sorrow is what
is sure to come
a drop of crimson
crimson regret
will bring us together
until we forget
our life and love
our joy and sorrow
the pain and torture
we face tomorrow
please tell me if you liked it
i was thinking of entering it into a contest
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139,481 Literary Works • 672,576 Reviews
Just what i needed right now...
actually i might submit it to a dark poetry contest
it's meant to be 'goth' as you people say
i do have more
but this one met the requirements and all that
i might submit a different one though
Er... yeah. I love making fun of poems like this.
I think you should submit something else in the writing contest. Generally, people don't go for this kind of stuff (especially adults) because it's so... depressing. At some point in your life, this kind of stuff is just not wanted. Why? Because the older you get, the more pain you've gone through. And many times, if you will get over it.
So yeah. If adults are judging this contest, don't turn this in. It will never win.
well i'm sorry if it can't be perfect or if it's too cliche for you
it was how i was feeling at the moment
but thanks for being honest
The rhyme scheme was too uneven. In some places it was AABB and in others it was ABAB. Also, to be brutually honest, I thought it was your basic cliche goth/darkness poem. I didn't feel any real emotion in it at all.