Young Writers Society

Wow! I clicked into this expecting to hear about beyblades, but I did not expect to be treated this well!

I really liked the fact that the only words that were capitalized were the words "Beyblade Burst." Paired with the line breaks, it made it seem like it was partially a run-on sentence and partially a grammatically correct paragraph at the same time - I didn't know that was possible.

Another thing I enjoyed was how rhythmic it was. I was almost tapping my foot along to the reading.

One thing I did notice though, was that you said "the vortex drags in your vision/ and twirls with deadly precision" and then later said "you can't expect the blade to see." this seemed a bit redundant to me, considering that in one stanza you complimented the Beyblade's vision, but then in a later stanza said that the Beyblade cannot see at all.

All in all though, a fantastic work! The fact that it was about one of my favorite childhood toys probably helps some

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

This was a really great poem. It somehow both hit emotion and nostalgia for me, but like... in different places?? I really liked how you used the beyblade as a symbol/continued analogy almost. It was really fun to read. You also had some pretty raw lines in there, too, and it created this super interesting vibe that was so enjoyable to read.

One thing I liked about this was how it rhymed. It's pretty easy to fall into the trap of stretching to find rhymes, but yours flowed so naturally. I find that for me, it's hard to write rhymes without seeming a bit trivial, but yours were so natural and nice that they really helped elevate the poem rather than minimize it.

Specifics

you're in control until you're not
your leaves are green until they rot
you can't expect the blade to see
it's just a whirling nobody

I'm really not the type of person who visualizes easily, but this poetry made me do so! (Or in other words, GREAT JOB!)
I loved the rhymes (can't make the quotation block so I'll type), for example, in the second stanza, "never stopping, never *ending* your broken pieces, all *heartrending*" as the whole poem rhymes.
I also enjoyed the fact that while it rhymed, it also told a story, or to be accurate, a view of someone describing a beyblade.
In conclusion, loved it, amazing. Regardless of grammar issues (which poetry often has), it's beautiful.