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Memories of a dreamer's heart

by yafikwrites


"This fountain of mine flows through you."

"And so it does," he replied

Holding her hand ever so softly

         

He was wrought with a finite yet seemingly endless stream of 'memories' 

The allure of her gentle yet forward gaze

The tingle of her skin and feel of her breath at just the lightest touch

Her covert indifference to his sanity

And having to make room for the absurdity

From the barter of amorphous thoughts through the night

To the occasional delight found in the rhythmic fall of raindrops

On the verdure outside

As the warmth of their shared nakedness kept them underneath the covers

           

A week, a month, a year, now five

All started to fade away, and her face was but a blur

He found himself engulfed in a haze

And he could grudgingly hear its last beat

After its insistent pounding  

His dreamer's heart finally ceased its flailing hold over his essence

         

And through the crevice that was his partially closed window curtain

His eyes, barely open, were stung by daylight

"And so it does," he sighed

Glancing at the bedside, that was once graced by her


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Thu Jun 13, 2024 2:09 pm
goodolnoah wrote a review...



Image

Hello there, one of King Koopa’s loyal henchmen, here!

This is an awesome little poem! It brought me on a story that tugged my heartstrings. I love the repeating of “and so it does” at the beginning and end, perhaps this symbolizes that the speaker’s love for their partner has and will never cease, no matter what age they are. The theme of memories here is also resonant. Once our loved ones go, all we will have is memories to remember them.

Reading again, this is all my interpretation, but is this about dementia? The lines of “a week, a month, a year, now five, all started to fade away, and her face was but a blur” seem to elude to an eroding of memories similar to the way dementia erodes at someone’s mind. Just an idea, and more sad nonetheless.

Awesome and gripping tale!




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Thu Jun 13, 2024 5:19 am
KaeRae88 wrote a review...



Hey, Kaerae here for a quick review!~

First Impression: Okay, before we get into it, I just want to say, 1. I love the title to this piece, and 2. I absolutely love the way that it is formatted as a poem, but also a narrative. Most poems don't have dialogue and I admire you for using it here! Aside from that the way you describe affection is quite cute,

"This fountain of mine flows through you."... The tingle of her skin and feel of her breath at just the lightest touch
In fact, your descriptions of everything is awesome.

Favorite line: Oh man, all of this is so good, I honestly can't choose just one line.
"This fountain of mine flows through you."

"And so it does," he replied

Holding her hand ever so softly

And having to make room for the absurdity

From the barter of amorphous thoughts through the night

To the occasional delight found in the rhythmic fall of raindrop

I like how you mentioned the raindrops here. It is really relaxing to listen to the rain, and that little part of imagery makes me think back to good memories.


Beginning/ending reference: I also like how you tied everything together by referencing the first stanza,
"And so it does," he sighed
The fact that you repeat it just puts a lot of emphasis on your message.

I really don't feel like you need to change anything in this poem... It is really beautiful and well written. Great job~

Keep writing
Kaerae




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Sat Apr 20, 2024 2:11 am
mayaura says...



I love this piece of work it is such a melancholic artwork that leaves you longing for more as much as the character longs for their partner. I loved the line, "He found himself engulfed in a haze And he could grudgingly hear its last beat". It reached into my heart and just shattered it. In the beginning, we are left following the story like a lost puppy and it is only when we reach a full circle in the end do we get to look back at the story we just read much more clearly. Overall beautifully tragic. <3




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Fri Apr 19, 2024 6:41 am
22Midnight wrote a review...



Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: from the title I am guessing that we will be in a dream that someone is having that they might have wished as reality instead of it just being inside of there head.

"This fountain of mine flows through you."

"And so it does," he replied

Holding her hand ever so softly


interesting start I really like this, it builds up a sense of mystery and urge to carry on reading.

He was wrought with a finite yet seemingly endless stream of 'memories'

The allure of her gentle yet forward gaze

The tingle of her skin and feel of her breath at just the lightest touch

Her covert indifference to his sanity

And having to make room for the absurdity

From the barter of amorphous thoughts through the night

To the occasional delight found in the rhythmic fall of raindrops

On the verdure outside

As the warmth of their shared nakedness kept them underneath the covers


here i am really getting the feeling that they are in a deep sleep and are dreaming about someone that they love deeply, but at the same time there's almost a haze about it, like this feeling might not actually be real.

A week, a month, a year, now five

All started to fade away, and her face was but a blur

He found himself engulfed in a haze

And he could grudgingly hear its last beat

After its insistent pounding

His dreamer's heart finally ceased its flailing hold over his essence


it feels as though this is a dream that they are having after a long time of being in denial about a loved once death or maybe that they left, and there having a lot of trouble dealing with it and excepting it.

And through the crevice that was his partially closed window curtain

His eyes, barely open, were stung by daylight

"And so it does," he sighed

Glancing at the bedside, that was once graced by her


really heart warming last lines and it's like i'm being left with a strange emptiness in my heart now, feeling as though this persons trying to hold on to something that might not have ever been there but his imagination is craving it none the less.

Overall: It was a really well written poem and i'm so glad to have read it, I can see that you really put a lot of effort into it and i so look forward to reading anything else you've written. Welcome to YWS by the way!

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya




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Thu Apr 18, 2024 11:10 am
KaavyaK says...



Nice poem written by the author.

The author has a really nice way of expressing his/her thoughts and feelings into words. Love is an emotion stronger than any power in this world and this poem verifies this fact.

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.





The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
— Helen Keller