Love Me

We were driving.

A whiff of musky air seeped in through a barely exposed crack from my window. In the split moment my finger reached to lift the latch, the motion came to a halt. Vehicles darted across the intersection. A hue of red reflected off the drops scattered across the shield which were only to be swiped from the glass a second later. My eyes weren't on him. It was a mere hint of weakness. One small mistake. But, he had sensed it because I had given it away.

I winced, mentally preparing for the impact as a harsh fist came into contact with my right jaw, instantly setting it aflame. A fresh set of tears blurred my vision, doubling his hazy figure before me.

"You little bitch." his breath was in my face. "You'd better not ever lie to me again. Understood?"

I rose my gaze hesitantly. His glare injected a rush of fearful adrenaline through my body.

"U-Understood."

"Say you're sorry."

A threatening hand in my face. My jaw stung from its fresh hit, I didn't want to risk the chance of gaining another.

"I'm sorry."

"Now get out the fucking car. You're walking."

I didn't have time to think as my hand pulled on the latch. A force against my back sent me spiraling from my seat, wedging me through the door onto the glistening asphalt. My hands intrinsically extended from both sides of my body as I descended towards the ground. The scene blanked before my eyes as a sharp pain rocketed up from the torn skin on my palms.

I writhed in shock, opening and closing my mouth for the cries to escape. I could picture how strange it would've looked to any onlooker, seeing me shiver and contort; cast along the roadside like a stray animal. Of course this I could only imagine since there were no witnesses.

There were never any witnesses.

Without a suicide wish, I gathered myself from the ground, hauling my weight at least to the sidewalk. Stars continued to dance across my vision as I pulled my feet to the ground. As soon as his red Chevy became a distant object is when the tears came. They blended with the raindrops as my heart beat struggled to find it's original rhythm.

I raised the fabric of my right sleeve. The perfect outline of a branded palm and yet another reminder of my living nightmare. If I'd have had the slightest insight of this life two years ago, I would have never even assumed it was my own. His tranquil silver eyes were an angelic facade to mask the horrifying interior beneath the surface.

Mason Riley; high school quarterback, number three ranked in the senior class. My lover.

My abuser.

I began to unconsciously shiver as my clothes dampened. My arms found a way around shoulders, as I surveyed the semi-deserted road in search for a place to cover my head. A gas station laid half a mile ahead on the other side of the street. If I ran I'd make it there before my fingers grew numb.

I hurried towards shelter, and pulled the phone out of my back pocket. As I shuffled my way, I sent a mental prayer  that he wasn't busy on this Saturday. The day's plans consisted of  a simple lunch date at Friday's. At least that's what they were up until a few minutes beforehand. I should've known when I climbed into the car. Should have known the moment he locked the doors. I mentally scolded myself over and over again for my lack of better discernment as my fingers struggled across the numbers. I found his name a few scrolls short from the top of my contact list.

Chase. 

"Kay?"

His voice met my ears after the third ring.

"Hey Ch-Chase." 

I stumbled over my words through the receiver. 

"You alright? You're studdering."

"F-Fine. Um,can you.... p-p-pick me up?"

I picked up on the sudden edge in his tone as spoke the next words."Where are you?" 

"I'm ok-kay." I attempted to convince him. "I'm j-j-just at the Sunco down the road."

"Why are you there? Aren't you supposed to be with Mason right now?" 

"Long story. T-tell you later."

A heavy breath flooded the receiver as he relieved a sigh. 

"Alright. Stay put, I'll be there in five."

I ended the call.  A few people strolled through, most shooting strange looks at me, yet none offering any help. I was soaked beyond belief and suffering from inconsolable chills. 

After what seemed like ten minutes, Chase's Honda Ridgeline came rolling into the lot. I checked the time, only to find that merely three minutes had passed. His widened eyes came into view as he pulled up beside me. He rolled down the window.

"Get in."

I obeyed and stepped into the heated vehicle, instantly feeling at ease. I closed my eyes as the goosebumps dotting the surface of my skin slowly disappeared. The bliss only lasted a few seconds before he asked the question that brought my awareness to a new problem.

"What happened to your face?" he asked, squinting at me. My hand flew to my face. 

"Oh this? You won't believe the fights me and Aaron get into. We were arguing over the last bit of ice-cream in the freezer box." I said making a point to roll my eyes."Stupid really."

Chase raised a brow.

"Really? You're ten year old brother did that."

"Hey, it's possible. The kid's got elbows like freaking swords. He yanked it out of my hands, and my jaw suffered in the process. That's the last time I fight with him over food."

I turned my gaze towards the window. The lies flowed much easier if I didn't look him in the eye. I don't even know why I bothered covering for the prick. I owed him nothing.

"If you say so."

I sighed, relieved that he'd dropped the subject for the time being. Our neighborhood came into view as he turned into the complex. 

"I want you to take a nice warm shower and change out of those clothes as soon as we get out, kay? Don't want you catching a cold."

"Yes sir." 

I tried smiling, but was forced to stop. Pain surged from the corner of my mouth as I lifted it on the the right side. I covered the sore region with my palm, conjuring up all willpower to resist a cry. Chase's gaze remained focused on me, sympathy laced in the midst of his dark eyes.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Just a little."

"We'll have to put some ice on that too then." 

He pulled into the drive way, then turned the ignition off but made no move to get out.

"Kaya?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"You know you can tell me anything right?"

"Of course, why?"

He shrugged, looking partially puzzled himself. 

"Just making sure you know that. Anything that's bothering you, let me know."

"Okay Chase."

He smiled at me.

"Okay."

The rain washed the glass, falling harder with each second. 

"Great..." I muttered, "Look what we've gotta step into."

"Welp, we'd better hurry up. Race ya."

"It's on."

I climbed out of his truck, and sprinted to the door as fast as I could. He was right on me, but then nearly slipped and fell right on his ass. A rocketing chorus of laughter nearly sent me collapsing to the ground beside him. 

"Not funny!" he yelled, regaining his posture.

"But it is! Hurry up!"

He hopped up the step and slid in the key. I headed for the stairs upon entering the house. 

"You know which door. Towel's are right in the closet." he called up to me. I reached the second floor, and grabbed a towel right from where he said. As I flicked on the light in the bathroom, I tried to turn away before catching a glimpse of myself, but it was too late. I'd gotten a flash of the damage from the corner of my eye, and the morbid image was a step up from the usual. It was no wonder that Chase was worried, and I partially wished that my nasty, purple swollen jaw had roused the same reaction in myself. Unfortunately, it was nothing I hadn't seen before. Countless memories covered my skin from where I'd been gripped, hit, and shoved, and I was so tired of it. 

Tired of hurting.

I reached for the handle behind the curtain. 

Once the shower was hot enough for my liking, I stepped inside and immediately began to scrub. I fiercely scrubbed over each mark so hard that it burnt. But it didn't matter how much I tried. They were there for good. Tears pricked at my eyes as the memories came back from the first time he'd hit me. It was after the last football game back in November. They'd lost, and I had only meant to comfort him.

It happened all within a split second. I saw the linoleum floor rushing towards my face, my vision doubling as the wind was knocked out of me. His figure towered over me, red flooding his face, and rage in his veins as his eyes narrowed into slits.

He hadn't said another word to me for the rest of that night. I remember just sitting there, wondering if I had in some delusional state of mind fabricated the whole event. But, there was enough pain searing through not only my body, but heart to convince me of the sad, hard truth

Then, the next day he'd called me, leaving several messages apologizing. The same phrase. 

"Baby, I'm sorry. Please answer the phone I wanna talk to you. I promise I won't do it again, Kaya just speak to me please. I love you"

He loved me.

Eventually I did forgive him. And for a few weeks it was like the incident never happened... but only three weeks later, he hit me again. That time there were no apologies. He just simply acted like it didn't happen and never brought it up again. Same goes for the next time, and the next. Until we ended up like this.

I finally left my thoughts to turn off the water. Thinking about the past wouldn't help. Especially when I was still in the same situation. I dried off, and stepped out the bathroom.

"Chase?" I called. But, there was no reply. I rolled my eyes. Where could he have run off to within only about ten minutes? "Chase I need some clothes!"

Another empty response.

I headed to his very messy room and pulled out one of his large tees. I dropped the towel and changed into the first t-shirt I saw on the floor. Next I stepped into a pair of baggy shorts and adjusted the strings so they wouldn't slide down my waist.

I left his room and started downstairs.

"Chase, you get ice yet?-..." I reached the bottom of the stairs. "Chase?"

Suddenly he emerged from the basement with a large pack of ice and a blanket.

"Found this in the ice box, and here's something to keep ya warm."

He handed them both to me. I couldn't help but smile, managing to fight the pain.

"Isn't this a little much? I'm fine."

"Nope, not taking any chances of you catching a cold. Now, lay your butt on the couch and I'll find something for us to watch."

I chuckled at his over-protective behavior. 

"Alrighty then." I said taking a seat on the sofa in the living room. He spread the blanket over me and held the ice up to my face.

"Now," he said plopping down next to me. "Tell me what happened. How'd you end up stranded alone out there in that weather?"

I looked down and shrugged.

"He cancelled our date, but I didn't just wanna sit around and do nothing. So, I took a walk. I had no idea it was gonna rain." I said.

The lies I told for him....

Chase knitted his dark brows together.

"You're lying." he stated.

"Am not," I said meeting his gaze. "Why would I?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Look, if Mason's being an asshole I'd be perfectly happy to straighten him out-"

"This has nothing to do with Mason!" I yelled, a little too loudly. Chase's face softened.

"Sorry Kay, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine. Let's just stop talking for now. My jaw hurts."

"Okay." he replied pulling the covers over his large torso. I leaned against his shoulder as he started a Netflix movie on screen. 

His body was tense beneath me. I could feel the muscles of his arms flexing against my back. He knew I wasn't telling the truth, but he didn't pry. He never did. 

I couldn't stand lying to him. It wasn't fair, but it was better that way. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him, even if it left bruises all over my own body.