He is a unique guy that I talk to all the time. This guy is a guy I take all my problems to, knowing he will listen. I'm not really sure how I know that he won't judge me by what I say but I kind of just know. You see, I have only met this guy once but it feels as if I've seen him a thousand times. Most of our conversations are over text but they seem to have meaning. I'm not even sure what i mean myself.
What else can i say? We talk about the most random things that just pop into our minds but we have serious conversation too. Hes tall. Like really tall. He has brown hair and towers over me. In all the time I have known him, we still don't know things about each other. That's okay though because it gives a chance to always wonder. I am only a 14 year girl who is friends with this guy. How old is he? Almost 18, but it doesn't matter. He gives good advice to me when i need it most. He may be stubborn and passive and just a little bit blinded but he's like a best friend to me.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Is there more of a story behind this? I feel like this is just the beginning of a piece, and you could expand it more. How about putting in a little history of their friendship? How did they meet? How long have they known each other?
It also seems that this guy is just a little too perfect. I mean, towards the end you add in some less desirable characteristics, but he should be more human than that. If you can create a little conflict between him and the main character, that would make things very interesting.
Keep working on this, you've got a nice idea.
hello xangeleighfshox!
You've got the works of a story going with this, but you should try to draw the reader in and describe "this guy" more. Yes he may be really tall and have brown hair, but talk about his qualities, how is he unique?
The last sentence is what I'm assuming is a grammatical mistake. But describe what the MC and "this guy" talk about over text.
Overall, I think you have a good idea going here, but I think that you need to elaborate. This piece is too short and choppy to draw a reader in and leave them wondering. Lastly, saying "This guy" or describing him without a name starts to sound odd. I think you should change the title to something different. If this guy is unique, give him a unique title!
PM me if you have any questions!
-SodapopLunchbox
This was a good piece of writing, even though I saw a few grammar mistakes, I really liked it. You did a good job with not making some words sound over used, which is normally something that's hard to do.
Even though this its kind of short, I think that it has a lot of meaning and, even though I might be wrong, it seems that it could mean a lot of things.
Good work and keep writing!