I can see what you're trying to do but we can see through your pathetic lies
But trust me boy It's not going to work, Your never going to get anybody as good as me
Believe me you cunt I'm one of a kind
you lost your angle, now it's no good looking for secound best!
Oh so you miss me? well thats too bad!
You little whore won't replace me
I'm the original, crazy bitch
I'm a warped masterpiece, an original work of art
You think you won, but we'll see whose laughing
when she's the reason you're fucking dead!
I won't miss you, I won't even care
I'm gonna spit on your grave when you're dead and gone!
I hope your happy with your little doll
You're messed up model of the original
But somebody has to have the scraps
I'm gonna smile on the sideline
As you burn with your imperfect replica
That little whore won't replace me
I'm the original, crazy bitch
I'm a warped masterpiece, an original work of art
You think you won, but we'll see whose laughing
When she's the reason your fucking dead!
I wont miss you, I wont even care
I'm gonna spit on your grave when you're dead and gone!
I'm my own masterpiece not your work of art
But i still drew your heart
You better cock the hammer bitch
you better belive im running this show
your twisted little disguise
Now listen while i sing my sick lullaby
your little whore wont replace me
I'm the original, crazy bitch
I'm a warped masterpiece, an original work of art
You think you won, but we'll see whose laughing
When she's the reason you're fucking dead!
I won't miss you, I won't care
I'm gonna spit on your grave when you're dead and gone!
Smile and wait for the flash
C'mon get your vain bitch in here too
Don't blink, i wanna see the look in your eyes
That says whoops mistake
Cause you'll never have a retake of me
I'm the fucking original!
OOoooh, this is the edited version with less swearing? Crikey, what did the first version look like?
I know you said your grammar's not great and it sounds like you're not that bothered about it but I'm just going to give you a few links to sites in case you do want to try and improve it at all.
http://www.apostrophe.org.uk/page2.html for the apostrophes
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-You're-and-Your for the your and you're thing
Aside from that, I can't see this as an actual song. None of the lines really rhyme which tends to be important in songs and there's not much of a rhythm. It doesn't really flow.
I'm sorry that I don't have anything much good to say. There were a few lines that were better like:
I'm a warped masterpiece, an original work of art
I think if you'd explored this more it could have been better.
I hope I've helped a bit. Have a look at those links.
Heya there Lost!! So, this isn't exactly my style and for me I can't really take it all that seriously (sorry!). So I'm not gonna go into any details really.
I see what you meant about not having fully correct grammar, you seemed to have some stuff wrong in the first half and then right again later on. This was confusing for me because I was making notes about what was wrong, but then I scrolled down and was like "oh! She actually knows how to put it correctly!'.
I thought too, that in the start there were a lot of lines that were just a tad too long and became quite a mouthful. I'm not sure how this is supposed to sound, so perhaps you have it all worked out? (If anything just space it out to make it a bit easier to read.
There was one line > now it's no good looking for secound best<
I assume you meant second? Also, I thought it was a bit clumsy for me and I'm just suggesting that you change it around a bit to make it easier to say or sing. (now it's not looking good for second best) Or maybe you meant it differently.
All in all I understand that it's an original masterpiece so I guess I should leave it as that but hey, keep being original!! SkyeJane!!