I blinked hard,
Trying to stop my sadness in its tracks.
I opened my eyes again,
But my sight clouded over.
It was too late,
Tears fell from my eyes.
They dropped like liquid crystal,
Gentle and warm on my cheek.
Why did it have to happen like this ?
She had so much to do, so many dreams.
I remembered the day when it happened,
She just slipped away...
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
It's okay, but I think the words could carry more meaning. They feel kind of hollow. It jumps around a little, too, instead of flowing.
That isn't part of the poem ( obviously ) i just felt like adding it.
Wasn't oh-so-bad. Some things a little cliche, like stopping something in its tracks and "liquid crystal".
But something major: take out the emoticon. It's poetry, we already get the sadness from the words.