Published November 8, 2009
I just spontaneously wrote this one day, and I hope it's not too terrible.
Have fun!
-Nutty
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I smiled and laughed, loving the feel of his hands on my hips and his breath on my neck. I looked back to see the golden sun reflecting off his beautiful blue eyes and chocolate hair. He laughed, and, breathing hard, threw me to the ground. I laughed, kicking him away as he tickled me relentlessly. “Stop it! Stop it Nikolas!” I squealed, trying to get away from his hands. He just laughed more. He tripped over my writhing body, and landed next to me with a breathless ‘oof!’ I laughed, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. He threw an arm over my waist, nuzzling my neck. I sighed, trying to catch my breath.
We lay there in silence. The sun was setting behind me, the grass was growing beneath me, the tree was creaking above me, and my love’s sweet breath danced over my face as he watched me with quiet eyes. “Nick?” I asked, turning to face him. “Yes?” He said softly, his words almost lost in the breeze. “Nick, will you dance with me?” A smile showed rows of white teeth stretched across his face in a happy, crooked, completely lovable grin. His only reply to my question was to help me to my feet, his smile never fading.
A song started playing in our heads. The same song, the only song for this moment in time. A song for the birds and the golden light and the warm air and the happiness welling inside of me. A laugh bubbled up from my stomach as me and Nikolas ran across the wide lawn, not going anywhere, not caring about the grass stains on our knees when we tripped or fell, and not intending to. Our laughter was swallowed up by the ever-still pond under the bamboo bridge. The trees waved their hands at us as we twirled by, eager to join our crazy dance. In the sky we saw our love and happiness, tinted at the edges by sleepy calmness. And then we stop under the singing birds and kissed, our hearts playing us a tune that can only be described as Love.
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141,445 Literary Works • 674,456 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is a cute little start. It seems we've got ourselves an interesting little couple here that seem to interacting with each other pretty well from the looks of it with some somewhat playful things going on there. Its a lovely wholesome little start here and I'm loving the vibes that it is managing to create at the start here. Hopefully things aren't headed towards anything bad at this point.
Hmm this is a pretty solid little continuation of where we were earlier. I think you're continuing quite nicely as far as building the relationship these two share is concerned and its really coming together quite well here as a result. I think you're showcasing a pretty powerful and perhaps long since formed bond fairly well here even with these few short lines.
Ahh well this is a sweet little ending here. I really love where this took us. Given how happy it started I was quite worried it would end badly given the norm but the fact that it seems it reaches a peak and ends on this lovely little almost slightly philosophical note and I think ultimately we have ourselves a simple bit powerful look at love in this almost pure form there and I love it.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Teehee, thanks everyone! I'm glad you all liked it so much. I had written it when I was absolutely overcome by the music I was listening to, and I was a bit nervous posting this. Usually my poetry comes from my music, so something this long was a new thing for me.
Anyway, woot! *high fives all*
NuttyLove
Awwwwwwww! Nutty thats beautiful! I loved it!
You have a real knack for romance my friend! Great job ♥♥
♥'s
-Irish
O my gosh! that was sooo sweet!!! I only saw one problem,
Whenever someone new starts to talk, you have to start a new paragraph. =-D besides that, great job!
Wow, I liked that, it really caught my attention, and since I had a very romantic experience today, along with some of my friends. It really made me smile, how she asked him to dance, and how it ended with a kiss. It was really romantic, and I liked how it was short, and nice. Great job.
