Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
"How many rooms, Tony?" Steve asked over the earpiece. Tony hummed as the room list flashed inside his helmet.
"Thirteen with heat signatures, thirty-five in total, Cap." Tony answered.
"Jesus Christ." Bucky muttered, loud enough for the earpiece to catch his words.
"Watch it, Barnes." Natasha warned. Bucky scoffed.
"What, you Christian or something?" The former assassin asked. Tony rolled his eyes. Leave it to Bucky and Natasha to get into a mild argument over something.
"Stay focused please." Tony interrupted as he scouted through the upper levels of the darkened facility. Dust flurried through the air like snowflakes in winter, covering everything in a thin layer of silver-gray.
"Should we take the files?" Wanda asked over the earpiece.
"Probably should. Give 'em to Fury after we're done." Bucky suggested, the shrug-tone in his voice.
"Yeah, definitely take the files." Sam said. Tony frowned.
"Why are you so quick to agree all of a sudden, Sam?"
"Downstairs, hallway. Hydra really didn't stop with just your boyfriend, Cap."
--
"Stay. away. from me."
A young girl, possibly seventeen or eighteen, with fair skin and choppy, spiky black chin-length hair with red ends sat in the far corner, watching the team. She wore black leggings and a short-sleeved gray shirt. She looked absolutely exhausted. There were dark circles under her silver eyes that made her look like she hadn't gotten sleep in days. Maybe even weeks.
Her voice was high-pitched, yet it was not chipper nor happy. Her voice was hard and threatening with a hint of fear.
"She's only a few years younger than me." Wanda whispered, gazing at the younger girl in shock. Natasha flipped through one of the files, with the words "Red Riding Hood" stamped in red on the front.
"Ruby Rose, seventeen, daughter of Summer Rose and Taiyang Xiao Long. Taken in by Hydra in 2008 after Summer was killed." Natasha said, reading the papers within the file.
The girl, Ruby, glared daggers at Natasha as she read the papers.
"Was she a Winter Soldier?" Bucky asked, looking at the ginger-haired woman. Natasha shook her head.
"Nope. But, she was injected with a serum called...Semblance." Natasha replied, turning another page. There was a quiet scuffing noise from Ruby's cell and the team looked up. The dark-haired girl was standing, and her gaze was worried and fearful.
"Are you here to hurt us like they did?" Ruby asked.
Tony's eyes widened ever so slightly.
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140,137 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hello, xArrows! Ethan here for a review, brought to you by the gloriously earthy Team Raw Umber.
Okay, so a very good piece here! Well written, and fairly clean grammatically. It did leave me wanting more, but since it's a preview, that's a good thing in this case.
My first piece if advice would be to specify that this is Marvel fanfiction. I caught on at the word "cap", but it wasn't super obvious, especially if one isn't familiar with the MCU.
That being said, you did a good job of letting me know who all the characters are, without hitting me over the head with their names. Nice job!
One other thing that threw me off was that you didn't mention that Ruby was in a cell until the end. This could be fixed just changing this line:
And adding adding a few words, such as:
Or something along those lines. As long as you let the reader know what's going on, it's good.
So anyway, like I said, this is really good! Feel free to ping me when you come out with the next part, and keep up the good work!
--Ethan, captain of Team Raw Umber
Hi, this is Kahlene! I saw this work so I thought I'd give you a review. ^-^
So, I saw that it is a preview. This may be a short review since the work is short because it's a preview.
This storyline sounds good, are the people assassins on a mission? There is also a good dialogue that shows all of the characters' personalities, which is good. There is a good context too, I love when stories have context, it makes me happy.
Since this is a preview there is not much I can do here. I hope you post the chapter so I would be able to read the rest and review it. I hope you have a nice day!