Published June 29, 2011
the choices ahead
may change my future,
the stress is too much
destroying what i've worked for.
life so far has been too great
im losing my fortune-
in luck and life
but i guess its just fate
i cant decide what shall i do
what shall i pick
its feels so cruel
the day i was told
i was in great shock
that i had the decision
i want to be controlled
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138,079 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
thanks for the feedback, i don't write a poem then punctuate or capitalise it. I just submit it the way i write it. Thanks anyway
First off, nice poem.
Capatalization is fun. You should try it.
And this line;
"i cant decide what shall i do"
You should either make this two seperate lines, or otherwise reword it. I stumbled over it, and it very much messed with the flow of your poem.
Consider revision?
~Hopeispeace
I like it. I get that you aren't capitalizing anything, but you still should put in apostraphies like im should be i'm and its should be it's. Also, its feels so cruel, should be it feels so cruel. You don''t need the s on the its. Good poem, though. Short, yet complex. And the name fits it perfectly.