god

Ohai! This is a quite lovely poem, but it has got no structure! Both Veritas and AnAmericanTeenager listed how you should have written it But part from the structure this also lacks meaning and emotion. It was a nice thing to read as, if structured it has potential to roll on your toungue easily and the facts you list I agree, are true - but I think a poem should have some sort of message, or tell a story, not just state facts

Hope I could be of help, if you've got any questions feel free to harrass me on my wall! xD

- And also, welcome to YWS! You're gonna love it here!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Very interesting! I agree with everyones thoughts about the structure. But non the less, brilliant content! Not that this matters, but I agree with your philosophy! This is gutless to write about, I love that in a writer! Keep up the amazing work!

i think what you said was totally true but i was not writing it from a christian's perspective i was writing it from a baha'i perspective but i am both religons. i was kind of but kind of not writing it as a poem it was just something i was working on. and yes my point was that god is great and because no one can match the power of god.


thanks for the help.

...What's your point? It seems like you're just listing various titles for "god." I'm also confused on why you're not capitalizing God, since I'm assuming you're talking about the Christian God. Maybe it's one of those no-caps pieces.

Still, there's no form or format to this. People write poetry to make a point. That point may be to make someone feel a certain way, but there's always a point. So what's yours? I kept waiting for an ending, you know, like "god is beautiful" or something. All you're doing is writing down titles, which doesn't make much sense.

Also, there's a typo: "the god you pray to a night" -- obviously, "a" should be "at." And a quick grammar note: "the god that is the only one that can be called god" should actually be "the god who is the only one who can be called god." Use "who" for people (or gods, in this case).

I would start in about how these titles aren't very original, either, but let's work with the basics first. Poetry doesn't necessarily have to have a set form, but having one long string of words generally doesn't work out well. Think of what you want to say with your piece; what's the bottom line? Is it that God is great? Is it that none can match the power of God? That seems to be where you're going with your titles, but you have to give more hints than that. Try adding some verbs in there, for instance.

Just work with things a bit more. If you need any further help, you know where to find us!

~Crysi

Dear writingabook200,

I love this poem.
You are such a good poet.
I love the repetition in this piece.
But if I were you I would right the poem in the right format.

For Example:

God,
The one,
The creator,
The god of all religon,
The god you pray to a night,
The god over top of greek and roman gods,
The god of all gods,
The god that is the only one that can be called god

Hey, welcome to YWS! You're going to love it here if you love to write!

I like the poem you've got here and I agree completely. One thing though, you should probably capitalize "God". Anyway it was nice, short, and sweet. Thanks for sharing! If you have any questions about the site ask me or anyone else here (everyone's nice

Veritas

Very pretty, and absolutely true! The only thing is that "God" should always be capitalized when it's his name! Oh wait, and since it's a poem, you should really write this in stanzas.

God,
the one,
the creator,
the God of all religon,
the God you pray to at night,
the God over top of greek and roman gods,
the God of all gods,
the god that is the only one that can be called God