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Young Writers Society



Chapter One; Stranger at the Door (edited)

by writergirlstevie


Chapter One;

Stranger at the Door

I sat in the back seat of a big yellow bus, my hands where in silver cuffs and my twin brother, Lucan, was in cuffs in the front. 'This wasn't supposed to happen,' I thought starring at the silver cuffs. I looked out the window, now we where driving through a forest. You may be asking why me, Gwena "Good Girl" Dare, ended up hand cuffed in the back of a bus. Well it started several months ago...

I had been walking home from school, after stopping at the library to pick up several books. My mom had told me to be home before my kid brother so I could baby-sit him. My twin got off easy, he had soccer practice, so I was the one stuck watching him. I turned into my driveway, the gate into the back yard was open so I figured that Charlie had come home early. I walked into the kicten. I saw his backpack and jacket hanging from a kicten chair, and a plate with a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it. A glass of milk was

"Charles Alexander Dare!" I said putting the sandwich in the trash and then the plate, milk and cup into the sink.

"What Gwena?" he replied walking in the kicten.

"When did you get home?" I asked, I didn't even want to tell him again not to leave food out. He always left it out, Charlie was a really intelligent kid he just very messy.

"About thirty minutes ago. Where have you been?"

"Library. Have you finished your homework?"

"Duh!"

"Figures," I whispered, opening a can of soda and closing the fridge, "want to keep me company while I finish mine?"

"Sure,"

Our House was several stories high and had many rooms, you could get lost in it if you hadn't lived in it your entire life. Charles and I choose to go to our families library, so I could finish my homework and Charles could read. Now you may be asking 'Why did you go to the public library when you could have just gone to your families'?' Well there's a really good answer to that, most the books in our families library are old books that where written before 1950. The rest of them where history books, although some where instersting I have only read the non-history books, and a few of the history books.

Charles chose a book that I had read several years before and I sat at one of the many tables. And we stayed in the silent room for about a hour. When the door bell echoed through the house.

"Charles, is someone supposed to come here today?" I asked, no one ever rang the doorbell at this time on a Friday, or all weekend for that matter.

"Not that I know of. It's probably just Luke, He always leaves his key's at home,"

"Either way your coming with," I hated answering the door, alone; unless mom was home. Charles closed his book and placed it on the desk, and I got up putting my pencil in the spine of my notebook before we left. As we walked down the stairs to the Foyer I looked through the glass.

"That's definitely not Luke," I whispered. The person at the door rang the doorbell again, and I opened the door. Two men dressed like The Men in Black where staining in the doorway, along with a third who looked familiar - I'd seen thous big blue eye's somewhere before.

"Hello, we're looking for Gwenevere Faye Dare and Charles Alexander Dare," said the man in the middle.

"Yes," I replied, "I'm Gwenevere,"

"You need to come with us," the two men on either side of the middle man took Charles and my arm's. "Don't say a thing, or you'll regret it,"


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187 Reviews


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Tue May 22, 2007 4:29 pm
M.B.Author says...



Isn't this the same story title? And yes there were a lot of spelling problems. And there were simple typos. There were some still confusing.

-- M.B.Author




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6 Reviews


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Tue Aug 09, 2005 6:52 pm



LOL!! I thought the spelling was horrible... I edited it and did a spell check... I didn't even notice there was a spell check! LOL :D




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Points: 890
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Tue Aug 09, 2005 6:16 am
Elizabeth wrote a review...



"Duh!""Figures," I wispered, opening a can of soda and closeing the frige, "want to keep me company while I finnish mine?"

"Sure,"

... yeesh...

"Duh!"
"Figures," I wispered, opening a can of soda and closing the fridge, "want to keep me company while I finnish mine?"
"Sure."

We are all old enough when to press enter!!

... in it your intire life.
ENTIRE

libary, so I could finnish

LIBRARY
FINISH
IT'S FINISH!!

It sounded really amazing but this grammar is driving me nuts. Fix it a bit with the moo cow spell check or something and then reedit it and i'll be glad to read it once it's ... bearable. Sorry :D





And on the pedestal these words appear:/'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings;/Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'/Nothing beside remains.
— Percy Bysshe Shelley