Very beautiful poem.
Keep writing.
z
Hi just tell me what you think please!
Timeless
As I stumble along a midnight path
The world around me opens long forgotten eyes
As I see and hear with longing heart
Nature opens doors, and beckons light.
An owl jumps through a ring of fire
As squirrels take flight before my eyes
Birds serenade me as I amply walk
And nature reveals a happier life.
The dance of night has come at last
To teach me things of past and yore-
When Kings still walked among these trees,
Oh, what is life? If not to see?
The trees sing their simple songs
Of timeless beings who walked upon
The Moonlight Path I tread along
While listening to their history song.
And if you close your eyes you’ll hear
The simple message they call to bear
To hold your heart they will sing
A song that will save you and me.
This has just a great feeling to it. I felt like I had stepped into a myth or fairy tale. The rhythm was wonderful. It just flowed so well.
Nice, nice job. I really couldn't find anything to critique or comment on. I can just tell you that I really liked it.
*applause*
Great job.
~GryphonFledgling
All you need to do is add some commas here and there and you will be fine. I really like your poem you have here it is very good. Keep up the good work ok.
PM me if you need me.
SimonCowellLuver :smt350:
Points: 890
Reviews: 108
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