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Young Writers Society



Timeless

by writeholic


Hi just tell me what you think please!

Timeless

As I stumble along a midnight path
The world around me opens long forgotten eyes
As I see and hear with longing heart
Nature opens doors, and beckons light.

An owl jumps through a ring of fire
As squirrels take flight before my eyes
Birds serenade me as I amply walk
And nature reveals a happier life.

The dance of night has come at last
To teach me things of past and yore-
When Kings still walked among these trees,
Oh, what is life? If not to see?

The trees sing their simple songs
Of timeless beings who walked upon
The Moonlight Path I tread along
While listening to their history song.

And if you close your eyes you’ll hear
The simple message they call to bear
To hold your heart they will sing
A song that will save you and me.


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Comments



User avatar
108 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 108

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Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:37 am



Very beautiful poem.
Keep writing.




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922 Reviews


Points: 42011
Reviews: 922

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Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:43 am
GryphonFledgling wrote a review...



This has just a great feeling to it. I felt like I had stepped into a myth or fairy tale. The rhythm was wonderful. It just flowed so well.

Nice, nice job. I really couldn't find anything to critique or comment on. I can just tell you that I really liked it.

*applause*

Great job.

~GryphonFledgling




User avatar
119 Reviews


Points: 2476
Reviews: 119

Donate
Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:08 pm



All you need to do is add some commas here and there and you will be fine. I really like your poem you have here it is very good. Keep up the good work ok.

PM me if you need me.

SimonCowellLuver :smt350:




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Points: 3090
Reviews: 25

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Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:15 am
totalSNIPER says...



very nice work i like it very much.....keep up the good work^_^





It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.
— Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian