Chapter 2.1: The Beginning

by write

Published February 28, 2025

Violence

In Eldrin: An Epic Fantasy

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The loud crash shattered the stillness of the night. Eldrin’s eyes snapped open. His heart pounded as he bolted upright on the mattress, hands instinctively reaching for Ember at his bedside. Footsteps thudded against the wooden floor outside the door, and harsh whispers floated through the thin walls.

"Kick it in! He’s here somewhere," barked a gravelly voice.

The door splintered under the force of a boot, swinging wide to reveal three figures silhouetted against the moonlight. Their faces were shadowed, but the gleam of steel in their hands was unmistakable.

Eldrin’s grip tightened around Ember’s hilt as the first attacker lunged. Steel met steel, the clash echoing through the tiny room. Eldrin stepped back, his bare feet scraping the floor as he parried the wild blow and countered with a strike to the bounty hunter’s shoulder. The man grunted, stumbling into a heap of clothes near the wall.

The second attacker surged forward. Eldrin ducked low, swiping Ember across the man’s leg. He crumpled with a howl.

The third hunter hesitated, eyeing his fallen comrades. Eldrin didn’t wait. He shoved past the man, slamming him into the doorframe on his way out into the cool night air.

Eldrin sprinted down the darkened alley, every breath burning in his chest. The sounds of pursuit faded behind him, but he didn’t slow until he reached the market square.

A figure stepped out of the shadows.

“Solianne,” Eldrin breathed, clutching Ember at his side.

Her eyes were hard, glittering like steel in the moonlight. “Change of plans. We’re leaving now.”

“Now?” Eldrin’s pulse was still racing. “I barely—”

“No time.” She scanned the dark alleys behind him. “They know where you are. We can’t wait until dawn.”

Eldrin nodded, the weight of past regrets falling away. He sheathed Ember at his side and followed Solianne back into the dark alleyway.

He realized that although he had only Ember and his clothes upon his back with him, there wouldn’t be any point in going back to his lodgings. Not because it was dangerous, although it was, but because he didn’t have anything else to bring.

Eldrin remembered how, in his past, he used to live a much more lavish lifestyle than his current one. It was filled with good sleep and good food, and… and a loving family.

Tears suddenly sprung to Eldrin’s eyes as he reminisced about his past, but his emotions were interrupted by Solianne, as suddenly as when she had come into his life.

“What happened?” Asked Solianne accusingly, as if it was somehow Eldrin’s fault that he had been attacked in the middle of the night.

Eldrin frowned at her, and replied, “I should be asking you the same question! Listen to me. I need more info about this whole thing right now.” He skidded to a stop and looked at Solianne, waiting for answers.

But again, she ignored him, and kept on running. “Later, you fool! We’re being chased!”

“Chased? What do you mean, I thought we lost them–” Eldrin’s sentence was cut off by a huge crash behind him, pushing his brain into fight or flight. And when Eldrin saw what was behind him, his legs instinctively started running as fast as they could.

The two beings had heavily scarred, green skin that reeked of rotten flesh. They both had a tattered loincloth wrapped around their waist and clubs as large as trees grasped in their hands. And their hands, with fingers larger than Eldrin and broken and blackened nails.

Two giant creatures that went by the name of trolls. As Eldrin sprinted after Solianne, he heard another crash and looked back to see bricks and wood flying in all directions. The two creatures had just broken through a building and completely demolished it.

Screams rang out through the night as the building crumbled to the ground, with the trolls crushing the remains to dust under their disgusting feet.

Eldrin spotted a child, who couldn’t have been more than ten years of age, trapped under the debris, crying out for her parents. Suddenly, a fierce fire sprung up in Eldrin’s chest.

This feeling… Where had he felt this before? It felt unfamiliar inside his body, but strangely nostalgic. It was as if he had just grown stronger, stronger than even the trolls. Eldrin gripped his swordtightly in his hand and raised his gaze towards the oncoming trolls. He knew that if he ran, the child would be crushed.

So he did the only thing he could think of. He sprinted, sprinted towards the oncoming beasts, with his Ember in his hand and a flame in his heart.

Holding his sword at an angle, as he had done so many times before, Eldrin ran at the trolls, who were now closer than ever to the child. They were fast, but Eldrin was faster.

He reached the trapped child and had a quick glance at her dirty face and tattered clothes. Her tear stained eyes gazed at Eldrin, holding both fear and hope. Eldrin pushed a fallen log off of the child and picked her up, holding her tightly in his arms.

The child grasped his neck tightly with her little hands, and Eldrin took off, leaping out of the way as a troll crushed the place he had been a moment ago. Now Eldrin ran, sprinted towards a shocked Selianne with the angry trolls in close pursuit.

As Selianne stood there, Eldrin ran past her and shouted, “What are you doing? Come on!”

Now running together, Eldrin shouted over the roars of the trolls behind them, “You’re a sorceress! Can’t you do something?!”

Solianne reached inside a pocket and drew out a short stick with fumbling fingers. “I’ve never done magic during the night before! I need the sun for my power!”

Now exasperated, Eldrin roared, “Just try!”

She nodded uncertainty and pointed her wand back at the oncoming trolls, jumping over oncoming debris that was being thrown at them by the foul creatures.

A sound unlike anything that Eldrin had ever heard slithered out of Solianne’s mouth, not unlike a hissing snake. It was a guttural noise, rough and uneven and Eldrin would not have even thought it possible for a she-elf like Solianne to produce such a sound.

Eldrin realized that while they were still running away from the trolls and the trolls charging towards them, everything had suddenly slowed down, as if reality itself was being stretched. A log thrown by one of the monsters hung in the air for far longer than it should have before crashing down next to them.

And Solianne, she had a strange fog around her and a humming noise protruding from around her. Everything had gone silent, with the footfalls of the trolls not producing any sound. An uneasy feeling rose in Eldrin’s gut.

Like the calm before the storm…

And now everything was fading slowly, with the only sound being the humming, with the occasional crackle, like lightning bolts shooting down from the sky. Little spikes of energy now surrounded Solianne, getting absorbed into her skin, and traveling up her arm and into that little stick that she was holding…

Silence.

And then all hell broke loose.

Comments & reviews · 1
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Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review Review · Dec 2, 2025

Good day to you! Hope you eventually come back to YWS and continue this 😊
I skimmed the first chapter to be 100% prepared for this dive, so let’s go!

I really like the description of the fight. Not many people can convey action that smoothly, well well done!

But once our MC starts sprinting away, I would have wished for more descriptions. Of the town, the route, of him listening to followers, a plan on where he’s going, some sorta regret for leaving stuff behind (or relief that he didn’t have that many belongings in the first place and therefore didn’t forget anything)… Just something more to pause between scenes 😊 You bring that up later, I know but I feel like you could put it here before Solianne shows up.

Oh I really like this:

“Now?” Eldrin’s pulse was still racing. “I barely—”
Just the… poor man, not getting any sleep :(

Hm I think I would have liked a bit more lead in before Eldrin’s almost crying. To me, it seems like he’s already carried this grief with him for a while and it might not be the first time bounty hunters caught up with him in the middle of the night. So… Some more emotional built up would be appreciated 😊

Ah this is what I mean: “Chased? What do you mean, I thought we lost them–” If you were a bit more precise earlier, then I’d also feel like he’d lost them. But you skipped very quickly over the chase seen so it feels very plausible that the other guys are just around the corner.

Wait a second, how large is this city they're in when creatures can pop up that have fingers larger than Eldrin??? “And their hands, with fingers larger than Eldrin”
Then again… I don’t quite now how tall Eldrin is hmm

Ah in the following troll scene you overuse the word “sprint” a bit much.

Ohh an exciting chapter. I was on board with the MC from the get go and I think you have a good grasp on action scenes. You might want to work on how to weave descriptions better into your narrative 😊



The world is your oyster. Well, it’s my oyster, but you can have some of it.
— Feltrix