Heart-shaped Box

I 5really like the repetitiveness and sybolism in this poem... how the heart-shaped box stands for love and for youth. Its really good! Just be careful with punctuation, and like chasingcolts21 said above, maybe a little bit more imagery. i think it would really add a whole other layer to your writing.

Again, great job and keep on creating!!!

writ3rindisguis3 wrote:There’s a heart-shaped box sittin on my window sill either put sitting or sittin'
It has a lot of space inside for you and me to fill
With love notes and treasures
Expressions of love forever punctuation
Come help me fill this heart-shaped box I would change 'this' to us and add so before come

We’ll fill it with trinkets of plastic and gold punctuation
We’ll open it one day when we’re really, really old nice repetition and rhyming
Let’s keep our memories
Of paper planes and shiny rings punctuation
Come help me fill this heart-shaped box Needs a period or a comma. If you use a comma, add 'cause and the beginning of the next stanza.

It’s a reminder of when
We were such kids
Of laughter and joy doesn't fit in here, punctuation needed
And scratched up skin punctuation
Our little hands
That held our life that's kind of personifying the hands!
We plundered through
Toil and strife you know how you rhyme sometimes in this? After strife, you could add in something about life
This heart-shaped box
Kept our memories
Locked away How long are they locked up? why? Also, punctuation is needed.
For future things
I love that heart-shaped box needs a period

Now we’re just a little too busy in life
Not enough time to remember those starry nights
But it still sits there
Covered in life’s wear doesn't fit right to me
And it still waits there patiently telling me I would add a colon or some sort of punctuation here.

It’s a reminder of when
We were such kids
Of laughter and joy
And scratched up skin
Our little hands
That held our life
We plundered through
Toil and strife
This heart-shaped box
Kept our memories
Locked away
For future things
I love that heart-shaped box

And when we’re old and gray
Oh Lord do I pray
That we will remember
Those lovely Novembers
And chasing fireflies change 'and' to of, punctuation
I’ll never say goodbye
To that heart-shaped box punctuation

It’s a reminder of when
We were such kids
Of laughter and joy
And scratched up skin
Our little hands
That held our life
We plundered through
Toil and strife
This heart-shaped box
Kept our memories
Locked away
For future things
I love that heart-shaped box