A Gift
The things that you think you so desperately want, that you long for, that your mind drools over in endless insatiable lust, these are the things that you hate the most.
The gods give you the entire world, they wrap it up in a beautiful box and give it to you with a note attached: “Enjoy!”
You hate their generosity, you hate that they’ve given you what you want, you hate everything about them, most of all, you hate their innocent gift.
You want to wrap it back up, throw it up to the heavens, never look at it again, cry out atheistically, start a cult against the merciless divine devils.
Their gift comes with a terrible covenant, you feel like Abraham except the self-mutilation is even more painful.
Why does the sun have to shine so brightly? The golden rays collide with the gift in your hands and they reflect, beautifully, the misery of your misfortune.
Everyone covets your gift and you so desperately want to give it to them, to throw it in their faces like a flaming sphere of hell’s unforgiving fire that burns your hands,
The things that you think you so desperately want, that you long for, that your mind drools over in endless insatiable desire, these are the things that you hate the most.
Gift is a deceptive word, artificial in its truth, for a gift can often become a burden, the strings attached are not strings but chains, and you are indebted.
After a bit of time has passed, the dazzling silver fluorescence of the gift transforms into a sharp, sinister and grey sepulcher of regret,
The bow is undone to reveal a dark abyss into which you peer, looking for a glimmer of light, an inkling of promise, a northern star.
Nay, not a shimmer, nor a glimmer, not a twinkle at all bright, only a gaping tunnel leading to eternal nothingness, the mausoleum of light.
The bow, the box, they are a façade, for their beauty and pomp cover up the terror on the inside; we can’t resist opening Pandora’s box.
Why were you so easily fooled? And now you are stuck, your feet are glued to an unstable, undulating floor, the gift is yours, you must play with it, and love it.
You look at it with disdain, deep, painful disdain, but you smile at it, laugh at its jokes, you never reveal the billows of angry smoke that suffocate you on the inside,
Gift is a deceptive word, artificial in its truth, for a gift can often become a burden, the strings attached are not strings but chains, and you are indebted.
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137,884 Literary Works • 672,070 Reviews
Hello, wrandomwriter! Welcome to YWS and congratulations on uploading your first literary work. Since it’s actually the site’s birthday today, I thought this would probably be a suitable work to review.
I haven’t really done that many reviews recently, so I might be a bit out of practice, but here goes.
This poem actually reminds me of scriptural verses in the way it’s delivered; it’s not like a typical poem, but poetic nonetheless. Your command of the English language is excellent, although I feel like you could possibly tag this better. Currently the tags are “Lyrical” and “Other.” I can’t remember exactly what the poetry tags are, but perhaps “Literature” might be more suitable, given the style and vocabulary you’ve used. I’m no poetry expert, but “Lyrical” strikes me as being something that would be sung. I can definitely imagine this being chanted, but not so much sung, considering it doesn’t really fit into the sort of style you’d associate with lyrics.
I don’t really have any criticisms, to be honest. I loved the imagery you used to describe this and while I was initially sceptical of the layout, I actually really liked it!
I loved this ending.
Once again, welcome to YWS and feel free to let me know if you ever have any questions or need anything else reviewed.
Happy writing!
-steam-
Hi there
The writting is really good and on point, the construction and grammar are proper and well used. Lols and about the 'gift' I also like that it has a hidden meaning to it and its not quiet on the surface and easy to grasp.
The piece is well-written and expressed.
Hi there
You have an amazing style of presentation!
I absolutely loved every single bit about it.
The gift of life from Gods above that was given as a token of generosity is seen as a deception.
The world with its promise of success, hope for a brighter morrow, chance of acceptance is frowned upon.
The brilliant rays of life are dulled by the inaction of the gifted, a splendid gift is laid to waste as the gifted forgets the true value of the gift he possesses.
Now time has passed and with it comes regret that opens up channel of doubt and despair in which drowns the narrator. The gift ended up being an abyss of nothingness and no joy arises out of it.
The gift is truely lost in the haze of regret and doubt that held back the person fom welcoming it when he had the chance.
Right now its time to drown. For it has become meaningless filled with masks and a game of daggers.
Right now the only way is to pretend to be entertained.. to create a facade that hides the truth of anger beneath.
Awesome writing style.
Keep up the excellent work.
Though try to give it a positive ending not one tinged in despair.
All the best.