Published October 3, 2011
[Set-bare. Make the audience think a bit. ‘Door’ centre stage. Lights up. Purposeful march to door. Go to knock and fake out. Go to knock again, fake out. Go to knock again, fake out and turn to the audience]
Okay. It can’t be that difficult. I mean it’s just knocking on a door. It’s like picking up a phone. Only, on the phone, you don’t have to fix your hair and your makeup. You can lie around in sweats, and make stupid faces in the mirror. However, this is a house visit. More personal, where I had to wear a dress and look super-awesome. It’s tiring, really. I should have just left his jacket where I found it…behind the bleachers. I mean I dropped my phone down there last Friday night during the game, and I had to go get my phone.
Anyway, it’s just a varsity jacket. It’s not like it’s important or anything, is it? And if it were, he probably should have taken better care of it, right? Of course, I’m the book girl. I barely know what varsity is, let alone what it does, and why is it so important that it needs a jacket?
I should just go back home. I mean, I could get some hot chocolate, blast my music and dream about what could have been. Or maybe he’ll be a nice person. I’ve seen him around school, and he actually seems like a jerk. But you never know, he could be nice. And I could be a princess.
I don’t understand why I want to do this anyway. I could have just passed it off to Bobby at school, then it would go to William, then Luke, then Jason, then finally to him. I guess it could get lost along the way, and it is a varsity jacket, whatever that means.
He could be a jerk, or really, really misunderstood. I guess it really is like what FDR said. [Pause. Knock on door] The only thing to fear id fear itself. [black out]
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141,299 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
This is really amazing. It's short and sweet which is really hard to find now in days. I love how you actually never said the boy's name and just kept that a mystery. Also, how you just slowly made the climax so...riveting. This is the kind of script that most teenage girls can relate to because everyone has that one jock boy who they just dream about. I love this script tremendously. Very, VERY good job!
I'm surprised at how short this is. In fact, I think it could use a bit of lengthening, particularly at the end. You do a good job voicing the doubts, but you don't do as good a job when it comes to the final decision and action. With how it's all doubts and reasonings why she shouldn't knock, the sudden knock is very sudden and the little platitude at the end is simply that: a platitude.
IF you were to flesh out the ending a bit, show a transition between doubt and final decision, this monologue would be the stronger for it. As it stands, I can see a person performing this without too much trouble, but the effectiveness of the monologue at the end would hinge entirely upon the actor's acting and tone of voice rather than any verbal reinforcement by the monologue itself.
Hi there!
Ah, monologues- there are my most favourite thing in the world; so many memories of drama class...
Anyway, I really like this! It's easy to picture the character speaking with the way you've written- it creates a nice image. I'd love to actually see this performed- once again, I love monologues.
I really want to know now what happens! This leaves the reader with such wonders... is the guy a jerk or is he nice? I guess I'll never know
The very fact that I want to know more indicates that this is brilliant. So thank you for the read and happy writing
-Briggsy
wow! this is really good!! I like how it flows. And I like the story line!!! it's so sweet. I know you told me to tear it apart, but I can't!!! and that's the best part!