I really enjoyed this poem.
It had a nice flow to it.
I liked how you add a voice to the bird.
It made the poem more animated
and added a sense of cuteness to the poem.
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One day I met a little bird
It had a broken wing
I bent down to him
And he started to sing
"Help me!" he seemed to say
So I lent him my hand
I took a good look at him
He was the color of sand
He jumped into my hand
As if he knew I would help right away
I put him under a tree
And he gave me a happy chirp to assure me he was okay
Then one fine day I went to the tree
Where I had put my sweet little chickadee
"I'm fine!" he said "thanks for your help!
I'll never forget you my friend!"
He then took flight and I never saw him again
I really enjoyed this poem.
It had a nice flow to it.
I liked how you add a voice to the bird.
It made the poem more animated
and added a sense of cuteness to the poem.
wonder_writer15 wrote:One day I met a little bird
It had a broken wing
I bent down to him
And he started to sing
"Help me!" he seemed to say
So I lent him my hand
I took a good look at him
He was the color of sand
He jumped into my hand
As if he knew I would help right away
I put him under a tree
And he gave me a happy chirp to assure me he was okay
Then one fine day I went to the tree
Where I had put my sweet little chickadee
"I'm fine!" he said.[I'm not sure if you need to use punctuation here, since it's a poem. But you used quotation marks so I figured I'd point it out. Up to you. Also, the t of thank you need to be capitalized] "Thanks for your help!
I'll never forget you my friend!"
He then took flight and I never saw him again
Very sweet poem. Your rhythm was great except I stumbled a little with the line:
"And he gave me a happy chirp to assure me he was okay"
But I think taking out just one or two words like And would make it flow a bit better.
Overall very nice.
Points: 2389
Reviews: 34
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