I Remember All

I really loved the simplicity of this poem, It gives off a powerful message with a limited number of works which is difficult to do but it makes a great statement when done right (hint: you did it awesomely). The nature of this poem was dark and personal which resonates deeply with me, as I also realize that the world is full of deep dark depressing realities and that these can be overwhelming by themselves. Life is unusually dark and often people seem to avoid the darker side of literature instead of embracing its true beauty. I appreciate that it comes from the soul as well as from the mind because it truly expresses what seems to naturally cross ones mind when contemplating life.. Like I said the simplicity makes it all the more powerful. I also like the repetition you use within the poem, the words “I am” are very powerful in this context. Overall it was a beautiful poem and was very though provoking. Thanks for sharing this awesome poem I really liked it.

Yes that is what a part of life is about. The pain, the darkness, the grief, the depression, wondering if you are going to be alone or surrounded by people you love or surrounded by complete idiots. But, there is truly more to life than the negative attributes. There are also some great positives, but I expect that you already know that unless you just live in a vaste world of complete and utter pain and misery. If you do, I mean no disrespect. All in all, I believe that anyone who is going through a lot and remembers only the bad things....I don't know.

I do enjoy the poem. It's a fresh mind and sound.

Hey, wolfsbane

First thing I notice is the frequent capitalization of words. Remember, words, when capitalized, mean they were more important than usual--that they hold specific positions in the poem. However, when there are an abundance of words capitalized, the importance diminishes, and what is first comprehensible becomes a presentation of confusion--a medium of superfluous capitalization. This poem falls under that category.

Short poem means you have to make sure each line connects with the line before--that a stanza as a whole is fully coherent and cohesive. Punctuation should be used to its utmost potential and not stick with frequent ones such as periods and commas. The varied punctuations can do wonders to how a reader reads this out loud, and would make the poem flows more, instead becoming a bunch of run-on sentences when put together into sentences.

This poem in a whole is vague in meaning, and therefore fails to deliver its message. It lacks the depth it desperately needs, and relies more on abstracts, which can't do any better than simple imagery we readers desperately need. There's a story behind this poem which we can only guess but would never be sure of, because you only give us a trickle of what you intend to deliver. Instead of saying 'grief', 'death', 'despair', show us that. Tell us what actually happens in a scene we can visualize.

So yes, this poem needs improvement. If you're motivated enough to use my advice to improve your poet-ing, I've no doubt your later poems would be more impressive than this. Keep improving!