Young Writers Society

Alternate

Prologue

I struggled against myself as I brought the knife up toward my neck. I tried fighting it but I was not in control.

Darkness flitted across my vision as the knife started to dig into my neck. As I sank to the ground after the knife hit its mark, I gained control again, but by that point there was nothing I could do other than accept the fact that I was going to die.

As the darkness started to swallow me, I smiled because I was finally going to be free of her.

                PART 1: AFTER

Voice

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep. The sound brought me back to my senses.

Beep. I didn’t want to open my eyes for fear of what I would see. Beep. The constant sound started to get annoying. I opened my eyes so that I could find the source of the beeping and get rid of it. Beep.

  As my vision started to come back into focus I realized where I was, a hospital room. Beep. The sound grated on my nerves. Beep.  I let my eyes flit across the room while taking a mental inventory of what I knew. 

I knew that:

 1. I was in a hospital room.

2. I was alone

3. I had a bandage around my neck.

4. And I was in control, for the moment.

I stopped my mental inventory because I noticed a woman watching me from behind a screen of glass. The woman was young and had no-nonsense look about her. She was wearing a blue lab coat and was writing on a clipboard as she watched me. 

As she glanced over to me again she noticed that I was awake and went to the wall, pressed a button, and said, “She’s up.” Once more she looked at me before she whisked out of the room with her lab coat flowing out behind her.

Minutes later my grandparents came into the room holding on to each other as if they were too weak to move on their own.

When they saw me looking at them they stumbled back a step as if they saw a ghost.  For all I knew, it might seem like that with how she/ I acted when she took over I also didn’t know or care how well I looked at that moment.

I tried speaking to them, to tell them that I was okay, but I found that I couldn’t, I couldn’t speak. I tried again but my throat burned, I felt so weak. I fell back onto the pillows, trying to quell the burning. The nurse gave me a pitying look and came over to check the monitors all the while she was talking to me.

  She told me that they had gotten an anonymous phone call saying that someone was injured and would die soon if they didn’t get there immediately. 

“We came as fast as we could but we ended up having to revive you. And by that time your vocal cords were damaged so badly that we could not repair them.” I gave her a wide eyed look because I feared the worst.

                “You will never be able to speak again.” She said in a sad voice. “I am so sorry that we couldn’t fix that.”

                My eyes started to water. I was trapped inside my own mind, I would never be able to speak, and I was still alive while sharing a body with her. 

  The nurse told my parents to let me have some time to absorb that information as she led them out of the room. I was alone again. 

 I pressed the morphine button beside my bed so that I could sleep without dreams.

Kill attempt 1

I woke with a start.  The morphine must have run out for I couldn’t feel the liquid pump into my IV line and run through my veins. That’s when I realized that I couldn’t hear the noise of the machines humming.

  As my eyes adjusted to the light I realized that all the machines that were monitoring my vitals and pumping medication into me were unplugged. She must have taken over last night and unplugged them in an attempt to kill me, again.

Before anyone noticed, I got out of bed and plugged-in all the monitors and machines and then went back to sleep.

A few days later, the doctors said that I was well enough to go home. I was dismayed that I wouldn’t have immediate help if she did something to me, but I was also happy that I would finally be free from those knowing glances and those watchful gazes.

Home

As I walked into my room and a sense of vertigo overwhelmed me. I hadn’t realized how long it was since I had been home, in my own room.

As I surveyed the room I got the sense that something was missing and I started to get agitated. I was mad that I was missing something and I didn’t know what I was missing.

Suddenly, darkness started to fill my vision, and I could feel her taking over as if my anger made her stronger.

‘She revels in my pain.’ With that thought I calmed myself and pushed her back down and regained control for the moment.

School

Once the bandages came off of my neck my grandparents deemed that I could go back to school even though I couldn’t talk. They said that whether I had a voice or not did not matter, I was there to learn, voice or no voice.

Since I couldn’t protest, in two days I had to get on the public bus, ride for 35 minutes before getting off at the school.

When I was dropped off at the school I stared up at it in wonder. It was a 2 story brick building that had no windows and had metal doors. I wondered to myself if this was a school or a prison.

I decided that I would have to brave the prison eventually or suffer the wrath of my grandparents, so I walked through the huge metal doors into the lobby.

The inside was as prison-like as the outside was. The walls were painted grey and the classroom doors were stark white with ominous black numbers and labels on them.

I quickly located the office and entered hoping that they knew who I was and that I was registered and needed to pick up my schedule.

When I entered the office the secretary looked up at me and said, “You must be the new girl. You can come with me and get your schedule and then one of the welcoming committee members will come and show you around the school.”

I tried giving her an appreciative look and then followed her to get my schedule. I had Grade 12 Calculus, Grade 11 Biology and Chemistry, Advanced English and Advanced Art. I knew I was in for a load of homework in my first semester.

Once I had looked over my schedule, the secretary said into the intercom, “Zanjay, will you please come to the office, Zanjay.”

Minutes later a boy came into the office asking, “What is it this time?” in an annoyed voice. The secretary who had resituated herself at her desk simply pointed to where I was sitting then returned to her work without another look at either of us.

When he turned toward me I tried attempting a nonchalant smile despite the butterflies in my stomach. He was a few inches taller than me, with blue eyes and black hair that hung into his eyes.

“I’m Zanjay,” he said while pushing his hair out of his eyes. “But you can call me Jay. God knows everyone else does.”

He stared at me expectantly, as if he was expecting me to say something. Then it hit me. He was waiting for me to tell him my name. The butterflies died. I started to panic, and the look must have reached my face, because when he looked at me again he just laughed and said, “Okay shy girl, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. Just tell me what your name is. You don’t even have to say it out loud. Just give me a name so I don’t have to call you shy girl all the time, unless you want me to call you that.” He trailed off with a coy smile. I shook my head quickly and rummaged in my backpack for a pen and a piece of paper to write my name on.

I quickly scribbled Areto on the paper and handed it to him. “Areto,” he said, testing out my name. “Nice to meet you. I should probably show you your first class before school starts and I’ll meet you after each class to show you the next one so you don’t get lost.” I nodded quickly.

As we started walking down the hallway to my first class, we started talking. Well actually, he did all the talking and I just listened.

“So let’s see... you have Grade 12 Calculus, Grade 11 Biology, Chemistry, Advanced English and Advanced Art. Wow!” Jay said and whistled. “I guess you’re not as shy in your studies as you are in your speaking. I wonder if you were always so shy.”

I looked down quickly when he said that. Smart boy, a voice in my head said. He knows more than he is letting on. If you stick with him, I’ll have my work cut out for me. Now this will be interesting. I shook my head, clearing the voice in head but also giving Jay the answer he was looking for.

As we arrived at my first class, he gave me a puzzled look and a sad smile. “I’ll see you in an hour and if you need to talk about anything I’ll be there.” he said. You can’t actually talk to him thanks to me... a taunting voice said in my head. I nodded my appreciation and went into my first class without looking back at him.

Bitch attack

As I walked into my English class I saw that only two people were there since there was still five minutes until the first bell. The first was a shady-looking boy with sandy-blond hair who was sitting in the far back corner slouching in his seat while doodling on his notebook. The second was a peppy-looking girl who was sitting in the very front row with her notebook dutifully opened.

I decided to risk the shady guy since I didn’t want to be listening to a walking pep-rally. As I neared the back of the classroom and sat down in the seat next to the shady-guy, he looked over to me, raised an eyebrow, and went back to doodling on his notebook.

As I pondered that strange reaction to me, the first bell rang. A stream of students filed through the door and took their seats. All except one.

A blond cheerleader came to the back of the room and glared at me until she finally huffed angrily, pointed to the desk and told me to get out. I looked at her calmly and then at the rest of the classroom. There were no more open seats and I obviously was sitting in hers. I didn’t want to be on display so I continued to ignore her, hoping that she would go and tell someone else to give up their seat.

She huffed again angrily. “Oh just give it up all ready, Lydia. Quit being such a drama queen and get over yourself, she obviously isn’t going to move because you order her to.” The shady guy said out of nowhere. We both looked at him with equal looks of shock on our faces. By this time we had the whole class’ attention except for our plump teacher with graying hair who was sitting at her desk in the corner reading while waiting for the second bell to ring. He gazed at me again and said, “She’s new. Give her a chance to fit in. You were new once too, Lydia, give her a chance.” He looked at me again before going back to doodling.

When the second bell rang and she realized that she didn’t have a seat, Lydia screamed, pushed my books off of my desk then stomped out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.

As the door slammed, the teacher looked up with an amused expression on her face before going to the front of the class and starting the lesson on comma reasoning.

When I started to pick up my books that were knocked down, I noticed some of the guys checking me out and a few of the girls stifling laughs and giving me thumbs-ups.

I smiled and opened my notebook and started to jot down the notes.

When the bell rang for the end of class we all filed out the door into the hallway. As I was about to leave, Ms.Shirming, my English teacher, called me back and said, “I know you’re new here and all but if you keep making waves like that you won’t have any friends here because everyone who is sent to this school are the people who are troubled and are sent here to get away from all the ruckus of their normal lives. I know you were sent here under, shall we say, extenuating circumstances, but try and fit in. It will make things easier for all of us.” I nodded and turned to leave but she called back once more and said, “By the way, welcome to Hillsburge High.”

I walked out of the classroom with my head down while pondering what she said. As I rounded the corner I rammed head-long in Jay who was lounging against the wall lazily. I was splayed on the floor from being knocked down, and when I looked up I saw Jay doubled over, laughing at me.

I looked at him, confused. What had I done that was so funny?

As his laughter faded I realized that he was laughing at my shock at him being there. I was so stupid as to forget that he would meet me after each class to walk me to my next one.

When I got up and brushed myself off with as much dignity as I could, he started laughing again. Since I didn’t want to play his games, I stomped off intently focused on putting as much distance between me and him as I could before I realized I had no clue where I was going.

I slowed my steps and looked back to where he was still laughing. Resigned, I walked back to where he was where I waited impatiently until he stopped laughing.

As his laughter died down, we started walking to my second period class, Advanced Art. Jay apologized for his laughter and said that he meant what he told me before. “You can talk to me any time that you need to. Please remember that.” This time I was the one to give a vexing smile.

As I started to turn toward my classroom, he caught my arm, searched my eyes, then let me go, and walked away. When I continued to stand in the middle of the hallway, dumbfounded, people started to point and stare at me. Once I gathered my wits, I turned and walked into my art class just as the bell rang.

When I walked in, all eyes turned toward me as Lydia stomped toward me, shoved me up against a wall, and sneered, “He’s my boyfriend. Lay off of him or you’ll be sorry you ever came here. And by the way, welcome to Hell.”

Hell. That’s a fitting name for a school for troubled teens. It’s also fitting because through me, this school will become your personal Hell.

After being thoroughly shaken, I started on my art project with my partner. My partner was the shady boy from my English class.

“Hey, I’m Ashren, but everyone calls me Ash. Say, weren’t you the girl from my English class? The new one that no one has heard a word from yet?” I nodded. “Gee I guess you don’t want to talk to anyone today. Too bad, you’re missing out on a good conversation.” he gave me a cocky grin. When still didn’t say anything he said, “Let’s just get started on our art project and be done with it.” I nodded again and we began.

The project consisted of packing tape, scissors, and a model. As it turned out since I was the smaller of the two of us, I got to be the model. That left him with the job of taping and cutting.

What we had to do was cover one of my limbs in packing tape with the sticky side facing out. Then wrap that same limb with the sticky side facing in so that it was solid. Then once that was done, Ash carefully cut it off and then rejoined and taped it back together once it was off of me.

Once we were finished we had a full body sculpture of me made out of packing tape. Since we had completed our project and had nothing else to do for the remaining 10 minutes of class, Ash tried making some small talk. “So where did you come from?”he asked. When I didn’t answer he repeated the question then said, “I’m not going to stop asking you questions until you answer at least one. I will hear you speak eventually. It is just the matter of who gives out first, and f.y.i., I don’t give up easily.” I shook my head, dismayed. There was no way I was going to get out of this without him knowing. My eyes brimming with tears, I rolled down the neck of my turtle-neck shirt to expose the scar.

His eyes widened and gasped as he fumbled for words. “Wa...was it an accident?” he mumbled. I didn’t know how to respond to this. Was it an accident because I didn’t have any control over myself at the time, or was it on purposes because my own hand wielded the knife?

I settled on it being purposeful and shook my head in response. I did it hoping that he would stay away from me so that I could remain detached and keep her a secret. I looked down at my hands and realized that they were shaking, I clasped them together hoping that he hadn’t noticed how upset I was.

By this point, his silence was starting to agitate me. Did he think I was a freak? Was I? Should I have told him it was an accident? Questions swirled through my mind at a dizzying rate while I waited his response.

Finally, he let out a ragged breath. He said, “I was once that person too. I know what it feels like to feel like you have nowhere to turn, no one to talk to.” Did he think that I was depressed? “I have my own scars, we all do. Some of us just hide ours better or they aren’t just surface scars, but either way we all have them.” He said as he began rolling up his sleeve. This time I was the one to gasp.

All along the length of his arm were jagged white scars, the results of cutting. Since I couldn’t say anything, I just placed my hand on his and gave a watery smile. We sat like that in silence until the end of class.

When the bell jolted us out of reverie he gave me a sheepish smile, tugged down his sleeve and bolted. I gathered up my books and stepped out of the classroom into the hallway. Jay was there waiting for me.

When he saw me he stopped dead in his tracks, and his eyes turned sad. He slowly walked over to me and touched my neck along my scar. I stiffened under his touch, realizing that I didn’t pull my shirt back over my scar. His fingers lingered on my scar before tugging the neck of my shirt back over it and giving me a sad smile. “Come, it’s time for lunch” he said softly.

He started walking away briskly and she decided to pipe her two- sense in. Look at him, being all sweet then turning his back and walking away with you trailing behind like a kicked puppy...so loyal and confused. Playing the part of the good girl, but you never are. I am proof of that. You like to lash out with your tongue, but oh, that has changed, hasn’t it? I’ve broken your weapon, now you can’t even complain when someone kicks you. You just give them the sad eyes and follow like the dog you are, you bitch.

Just as we reached the lunchroom my rage took over. You never deserved this life, I did, and it was taken from me, by you. So now you have to pay... that’s when she took over.

I stretch my neck, fully in control of her. It felt good to be out of her mind. Hers was so weak and foolish, so unlike mine. The one thing I hated about being back in control was the heat; the stupid, humid, Arizona heat. I could feel everything again.

Dismissing that thought, I turned my attention to the lunch room in front of me. There was so much havoc I could wreak in this girl’s life before I left to be with Glen.

That’s when I felt it, that pull, another was appearing. I had to hide myself quick. With resolve I dove back into the depths of the girl’s mind and let her regain control.