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Web of Deceit : a Sherlock Holmes Story {Prologue}

by wildlyabstract


Takes place throughout the modern BBC version of Sherlock

Loud gunshots echoed across the building of 221b Baker Street in London, causing quite the commotion. The voices of different men yelling were the only things to be heard, and one would even think there was some kind of strange gun fight happening up there, and should probably think to call the police.

But not Mrs. Hudson. She knew exactly who it was, and what was happening, and she paid no attention to it.

“Pay no mind, dearie. The boys are just being boys again,” She reassured the young woman sitting at her dining room table as she bustled around the kitchen making tea.

“Does that happen often?” The woman’s voice rang out, flinching slightly at the sound of the gun.

“Oh all the time. They are usually quite loud, but you learn to get used to it. Now, sugar?” The woman nodded and smiled graciously at her request.

“So, how do you know John?” Mrs. Hudson sat across from her after pouring tea into her cup, and her guest’s.

“I was in Afghanistan with him at the time, working in the medical hospital up there, I‘m an emergency medical nurse. John came in after a bombing, I was the one who fixed up his leg and sent him home, right before being deployed back home myself.”

“How astonishing,” Mrs. Hudson gasped. “And where is home, if I may ask? You aren’t from London, that much is certain,” She chuckled. The woman laughed kindly along with her.

“Sydney, Australia. My parents live up in Cornwall, and my brother and his wife live here in London as well for his job, so I decided to come closer to my family after the war ended. Couldn’t stand being alone,” She muttered the last part as she brought her tea to her lips gently.

“I don’t blame you dear, I don’t blame you one bit. Family is very, very important, especially here, Oh goodness gracious!” Mrs. Hudson was cut off by another gunshot and and a bang that made some dust fall from her ceiling onto the plate of biscuits in the center of the table. The pair of women heard a loud door slamming and footsteps stomping forcefully down the stairs. Mrs. Hudson, who left her door wide open so that the woman behind her could see the commotion, stepped out of her flat in time to see a young man angrily coming down the stairs and running to the front door.

“I never-” he was grumbling to himself. Behind him came another young man, shouting apologies and begging for him to stay.

“Oh, John!” Mrs. Hudson gasped, “What just happened?”

John sighed and rolled his eyes. “He’s in one of his moods, just drove a client away, bloody madman-” he grumbled off. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hudson, do you have company?”

“Oh yes well John, there is someone I wanted you to see, I was going to bring her up after tea,” She whispered. The woman sat with her legs crossed, a smirk gracing her lips as she sipped her tea quietly, anticipating the look on John Watson’s face.

“Oh? Is she a client?”

“No no no, come in here for a moment dear,” Mrs. Hudson opened the door partially and stepped in first, and the woman at the table turned in her chair a bit to face the door more.

“John, I’m sure you remember Anna,” Mrs. Hudson introduced, and Anna stood up to face her old war friend.

“Hello John,” Anna greeted, and a large smile overtook the young man’s face at the sight of her.



****

“Afghanistan or Iraq?”

“Pardon?”

“You, did you serve in Afghanistan or Iraq?”

This was the first and only thing Sherlock Holmes had said to her. After John and Anna had a reunion in Mrs. Hudson’s flat, he took her upstairs to meet Sherlock, praying that he would be done shooting at the walls enough for him to meet his long time friend. He was, but that didn’t mean he was being exceptionally friendly, either.

“Well, you’re Sherlock Holmes, you tell me,” Anna smirked, wanting to test this "great man" and his ability.

Exasperatedly, Sherlock set down his experiment on the table and turned to her dramatically, looking her over in silence before beginning to speak.

“Well, assuming the simple fact that you and John seem to be good friends, and have been for quite some time, I would say Afghanistan, deducing that you met him there. You have steady hands and cracked knuckles, which means you wash your hands a lot, I would say medical,” Anna looked slightly impressed but tried to suppress it, and he continued, “But, you have bags under your eyes. You were diagnosed with insomnia, developed from your amount of nightmares from your PTSD. You’re too afraid to sleep so you’ve trained yourself to stay up every night. You were in Afghanistan, but before that, Iraq, judging by the amount of insomnia and anxiety medications in your bag right now.”

Sherlock Holmes loved to show off like this, and judging by John's somewhat astonished face that he failed to conceal, he did fairly well. Anna, on the other hand, looked more amused than impressed, and the expression on her face made Sherlock slightly uneasy. 

It was silent for a moment, before she nodded slowly. “Very impressive, Mr. Holmes.”

“I know.” And he turned back to his table to continue dissecting whatever it was he was dissecting. Anna turned to John with a small smile, and he returned it, before the two walked back to the living room to chat and make up for lost time.

****

“Who are you?”

“Sherlock, I’ve introduced her at least three times now, this is Anna.”

“Anna who?”

“Bloody hell…”

“Why is she here?”

“I asked her to help us with the case."

The whispering continued, and Anna stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed, taking in the scene around her as the two grown men whispered/fought back and forth. A woman in a very pink formal skirt suit lay face down on the floor. Anna had dealt with her fair share of dead people during the war, and the sight of the woman had yet to faze her. John turned quickly back to Anna with a large grin. Anna met his eyes and smiled graciously, and watched as John took his elbow and jabbed it into Sherlock’s side. He looked down at John, confused for a moment, before he looked back at Anna with a slight sigh and put a very forced smile on his face that only lasted a mere moment before disappearing again.

“So?” Anna asked eagerly.

We would love for you to help us,” John chuckled, making sure Sherlock picked up on his emphasis of the word "we". 

“Well, I suppose if you need me,” Anna teased, grinning all the same.

“We don’t,” Sherlock stated, but his comment didn’t faze Anna in the slightest.

“Yes you do,” She returned, still smiling. “Who else is going to stop you two from making stupid decisions all the time?” And this time, Sherlock Holmes was the one who stayed silent.

****

John and Anna rush into the darkened school building, John yelling Sherlock’s name.

“Bloody-” He gasped, out of breath and terrified.

“John, this way,” Anna grabbed his arm, and sprinted in the direction of a light shining. They entered the classroom in a panicked frenzy, expecting to see Sherlock, but the room was empty. Instead, they looked through the window to find none other than Sherlock sitting at a table with a man who had him at gunpoint in the opposite building. 

“No, no no no,” John muttered. “Sherlock!” John reached for his gun, aiming it at the man in front of his friend. His hand shook out of terror and adrenaline, and his usual steady hand was finding it very difficult to aim properly.

Time was slowly diminishing, and John had yet to pull the trigger and save Sherlock's life. 

“John,” a gentle voice rang out to him, and Anna’s hand gripped his gun lightly. “John, give it to me.” He gave the gun to his friend, who immediately took it up and aimed, keeping her hands perfectly steady, clearly showing her 6+ years of military training. In one swift motion, she took a deep breath in, and pulled the trigger, watching as the bullet cut through both walls of glass and hit it’s mark, burying itself into the gunman’s flesh and stopping his heart almost immediately. The lights went out in the building, and when Sherlock turned to face his shooter, he was met with darkness.

The pair met him outside the building, as he yelled at some medical technicians who were trying to check his vitals. Anna and John walked side by side.

“John," she muttered quickly, "if he asks, and I know he will, you were the one who fired the gun, alright?” Anna whispered to him.

“What?”

“Just do it.”

“I’m in shock, look! I have a blanket!” Sherlock yelled in annoyance at the ambulance technician. He came face to face with John and Anna, immediately dashing into his multiple theories for who the shooter could be, before recognition came across his face.

“It was you, wasn’t it,” He said to John. John said nothing, afraid that if he tried, the lie would came straight out. In truth, he did not want this brilliant man to know that he was too afraid to pull the trigger, too haunted by his ghosts to kill another man.

The group separated, and Anna walked across a bridge and leaned against the railing, staring at the lights of London and the water below, taking a deep breath. She too was having difficulty dealing with her demons, who seemed to appear once again as soon as she pulled that trigger.

“That was a noble thing, making John lie to me,” A voice behind her stated with slight sarcasm. Knowing exactly who it was, Anna continued to face the water, taking another deep breath.

“John was going to do it,” She said. "He really tried." She did not want to make it sound like her friend was too scared, because he was far from it, and she knew that.

“I saw the tremble of his hand just now, there was no way he would have been able to hit the mark so well shaking like that,” He muttered, "He would've hit me."

"Ah, and we wouldn't want to lose that brilliant mind of yours," Anna grinned. "Although," she continued, "I could do without the constant insults towards my emotional stability and mental capacity. Maybe we could take that down a notch, yeah?" And Anna chuckled, and she could have swore she saw the corner of Sherlock Holmes' lips twitch upward for just a moment. 

It was silent, both figures watching the city lights glow below them, their labored breaths coming out in puffs of white fog until once again, the silence was broken by Sherlock’s voice, softer this time.

“Thank you,” He muttered. Anna, who, at first, thought she was hearing voices, whipped her head around to look at the man standing beside her, only to find his face completely solemn. 

“Did Sherlock Holmes just thank me for saving his life, or am I just hearing things?” She teased, slightly in awe at the idea of this man having the ability to be kind. This was the first she had seen this side of him, and she felt it might be the last. She relished in the fact that in one night, she saved Sherlock's life, made him smile (even if only a fraction), and got to see a kinder side of him, directed at her. Anna felt accomplished in the events of the evening. 

"I'm sorry," she said again, her grin growing wider. "I don't think I heard what you said, would you mind saying it again?"

“Don’t make me say it again, it was painful,” he spat, his face contorting in slight disgust. Anna laughed, and began to walk away, Sherlock turning to follow her. They both made their way across the bridge back to their John Watson. All three fed off of the energy they got from the rush of events that night, and they wondered when another opportunity like it would arise. They wondered when England would call for help once more, and they made sure to be the ones to answer it when the time came. 


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5 Reviews


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Tue Jun 27, 2017 6:09 pm
Cook9285 wrote a review...



Hello! Oh my gosh this is so cool, as a BBC fan, I was so ready to click this and read pages upon pages. Just a few notes really because this was really good. You seem to have quite a few grammatical errors like your capitalization (e.g. The 'He' in '"Thank you," He muttered.') doesn't need to be capitalized. Then some of the areas have unnecessary commas. Sherlock was kind of OOC in this story. I think he would have said more about Anna in the beginning (when he was deducting, though it was a good recreation). The "Thank You" wasn't like him at all because he is usually very blunt. Also, seeing as John and Anna knew each other, I really don't think he would even have to question them being in Afghanistan with each other.
Anna needs some more character development because she's just thrown at us, not really much of a description at all. It would have been better if you introduce her a bit more while she's chatting with Mrs. Hudson, but that's just my opinion.




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Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:40 am
jesxangel wrote a review...



Hello! As a huge closet BBC Sherlock fan, I really pay attention to the slight details of these fanfics. I'm sure most of these points have already been pointed out, but I'll review nonetheless.

Capitalisation: Some words (e.g. The 'He' in '"Thank you," He muttered.') doesn't need to be capitalised.

Commas: Some of the areas have unnessecary commas.

OOC (Out Of Character): Sherlock was a bit OOC in this story. I think he would have said more about Anna in the beginning (when he was deducting, though it was a good recreation) and the "Thank You" wasn't like him. Also, seeing as John and Anna knew each other, I reckon Sherlock would've taken a guess at Afghanistan.

The idea seems worthwhile, but Anna needs some more character development. I would've liked to go into her further while reading - she's just a random Original Character that was just inserted for the sake of it at this point, but that's just my opinion.

Despite all this, the story's pretty good. I hope this helped,
Jess




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Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:09 pm
zaminami wrote a review...



Hi, @wildlyabstract! Kara Stevens here for a (hopefully) quick review!

I'm a big Sherlock fan, so I have a lot of criticism here. Bear with me, please.

So, first of all, this extremely confused me. This is "A Study in Pink" with Anna thrown in, correct? I'm not used to Anna, so I'm really confused. Also, you might want to choose a more... uncommon name, so to speak. I keep thinking that Anna is another nurse or something in the scene (other than the fact that she was a nurse in Afghanistan and Iraq, I know that).

Second of all, Sherlock does not, I'm sorry to say, sound like Sherlock. In the beginning when he's listing off things about Anna I think that he would more likely say even more about how he figured out Anna's profession. Also, he would never say "thank you"... he's a high functioning sociopath, for God's sakes!

Third, you have a lot of grammar errors:

“But, you have bags under your eyes.


No comma there.

“Pay no mind, dearie. The boys are just being boys again,” She reassured the young woman sitting at her dining room table as she bustled around the kitchen making tea.


"She" should not be capitalized. I noticed this all around your piece. When there's a pronoun after dialogue, the pronoun is not capitalized.

“That was a noble thing, making John lie to me,” A voice behind her stated with slight sarcasm.


Same thing here. "A" should not be capitalized.

“No, no no no,” John muttered.


Not really a grammar error, but it'll be better captured if you wrote it as "No, nononononono", as it'll signify Watson's panic.

“Sherlock, I’ve introduced her at least three times now, this is Anna.”


The second comma should be a period and then "This is Anna" will be a new sentence.

Anna laughed, and began to walk away, Sherlock turning to follow her.


Should be "Anna laughed, and began to walk away. Sherlock turned to follow her." This sentence doesn't make sense otherwise.

I didn't get all of the grammar errors, I'm sure, but those were the ones that stuck out to me.

Fourth, mark this as 16+ for mild language. "Hell" is a swear word here, and I'm fairly sure (even though I'm not British) that "bloody" is a swear word in England.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's it! Hopefully this review helped!--

Kara Stevens






Thanks for the criticism, I'll take it into consideration.



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Fri Feb 17, 2017 5:58 am
deleted868 wrote a review...



Hello there!

To start off, I'm a huge fan of Sherlock so this definitely caught my eye! I do however have a couple questions about this.

First off, there's never really an explanation as to why Anna was consulted to help with the case, not that she wouldn't be helpful, but I'd have liked to see at least a short scene detaliitnf her usefulness to Sherlock in order to allow her by the crime scene. I mean, yes it's a murder, but even if she's John's friend, that shouldn't mean that she can just work with them on a case involving a deceased person.

Second off, I noticed that you've capitalized repeatedly the first letter of the speaker after the dialogue is spoken, such as "'Pay no mind, dearie. The boys are just being boys again,” She reassured.'" Since the dialogue doesn't contain a period, "she" should not be capitalized. If you'd rather insert periods when the dialogue is definitely finished, then you can leave the capitalization. I hope that makes sense.

Lastly, I'm guessing that you short for a third person omniscient-ish view? This is fine as long as you're not really switching views within the same section. It was especially shown in the last part, with the focus going from what John is feeling to Anna, then to a more general overview of both Sherlock and Anna.

I'm all about seeing insight into characters, but I kind of wished that you decided to focus more on a certain character, since earlier in this story you had a short snippet of Sherlock to a yet again more general-ish view. Maybe this totally went over my head, but if you liked a more general view then I'd recommend you modify a few of the more specific scenes to take away any "thoughts" of the characters.

Don't get me wrong - I liked this a lot! Seeing Sherlock banter with a different character was entertaining, and has some promise. I'd love to be able to see development of these characters over the following chapters! Well I hope this helped a little at least! Good luck with future writing endeavors!




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Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:04 am
Que wrote a review...



Hello there wildlyabstract!

Decided to take a look at this because although I've only seen the first season, I'm already a Sherlock fan! Overall, it's pretty good. The transitions are generally pretty good, though the last one is rather abrupt. I'm not sure if there's a better way you could put it, but I guess I didn't expect the sudden leap and so it seems disconnected.

Another thing: I noticed how you followed the plot of "A Study in Pink", just with the character of Anna thrown in there. First of all, it doesn't quite match up, as the way you start this makes it seem as if they've been living together and such for quite a while, even though at this point in the show they haven't. Also, since the people who will be reading this (most likely) will have already seen Sherlock, then this is a bit of repetition. I'd love it if you made up some fresh cases for the three to investigate! I see that this is only the prologue, so it's fine to have a familiar setting to introduce Anna into, but if you're going to write more, I would recommend making your own plots. That way there's more room to see the dynamics of their group functioning and it gives the readers familiar characters but something new to look forward to. (Besides, if you continue following the episodes, you might give away some spoilers that people aren't expecting!)

Your grammar and everything looks good, but I just want to take a look at some specific places.

Afghanistan or Iraq?”

“Pardon?”

“You, did you serve in Afghanistan or Iraq?”

“Well, assuming the simple fact that you and John seem to be good friends, and have been for quite some time, I would say Afghanistan, deducing that you met him there. You have steady hands and cracked knuckles, which means you wash your hands a lot, I would say medical,” Anna looked slightly impressed but tried to suppress it, and he continued, “But, you have bags under your eyes. You were diagnosed with insomnia, developed from your amount of nightmares from your PTSD. You’re too afraid to sleep so you’ve trained yourself to stay up every night. You were in Afghanistan, but before that, Iraq, judging by the amount of insomnia and anxiety medications in your bag right now.”

I feel like, already knowing John's background and knowing that he and Anna are friends, along with the other details you added, Sherlock would already know for sure that it was Afghanastan. I don't think he would ask that- I think he'd already know. But I really love your recreation of Sherlock's observations! It works quite well, and it probably took quite a bit of effort on your part. If you continue writing this, I'd love to see that much detail in future chapters! :) It makes it so much more accurate and realistic.

The lights went out in the building, and when Sherlock turned to face his shooter, he was met with darkness.

Saying his shooter implies to me that this person shot Sherlock, which is certainly not the case! Maybe if you said the shooter instead, it would be a little clearer.

I thought this was a fun read and pretty accurate! I hope you do write more of this- if love to see more of how Anna fits in with the pair. Nice job!

-Falco






Thanks so much for that review!

To answer a few things, I was worried about the somewhat different time period of A Study in Pink that I tried to add in, however I know that is different. To be honest, it was kind of bothering me a bit, but I decided to just publish this anyway just to get it over with:)

Trust me, I've got my own plot added in, starting with the first chapter. I create my own antagonist, plot, and different character backstories off of this. However, I do have to advise that the prologue takes place nearly 4 years before the rest of the book. If you aren't caught up with Sherlock seasons, I fear I may ruin a few things. If enough people tell me they aren't caught up, then I can try and go back and change things.

Thank you so much for the great advice, I really appreciate it!



Que says...


No problem! :) Yeah I need to catch up on all the Sherlock. XD But I'm glad you have your own plot and such planned out! :D




They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.
— Kurt Cobain