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The Cafe

by whit921


Her imagination took her elsewhere: most days it was a petite café in France, partially covered by flowering vines whose fragrance intertwined with that of the coffee served inside. She would seat herself at a table nearest to the cobblestone street in order to watch handsome strangers pass by, sometimes catching their eyes. And her mouth would curve flirtatiously at passersby and her cheeks would blush like the sunset as the sun bowed below the horizon, leaving traces of pastel pigment in the darkening vast blue as a parting gift. And as darkness grew the vanilla moon would reflect in her eyes and she would sigh unto the stillness of the night, and closing her eyes she was the night, immune to the flock of memories that constantly pecked at her skin every day, reduced to this single moment of solace. And the moon would take her chin and guide her to the stars which reflected in her coffee cup warming her hands. “Isn’t it magnificent?” The moon would tell her. “This world.” She would agree with her eyes. And she would raise her coffee cup to her lips and drink in the moon and the stars. In this moment, however imaginary, she was content.


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15 Reviews


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Sat Jun 12, 2021 5:53 am
slubbs24 wrote a review...



Slubbs here with a review :D

This was a fascinating piece! It was so elegant and dreamy word by word. You painted a picture in my eyes.

The only thing I would suggest is putting it into paragraphs, it’s a bit blocky and my eyes struggle to read straight.

Anyhow I love the concept, you were so detailed in the writing you could vision everything.

I do like how this is different from a lot of the stories I read, I’ve never read a story with imagination and from I know you did a splendid job with approaching this idea.

Overall it was a very warming story that makes the reader leave with calmness while thinking of the image you put in our heads... if that makes sense xD, if it doesn’t blame it on my tiredness.

Loved it!

~slubbs




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Fri Jun 11, 2021 4:07 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! A late welcome to YWS!! Hope you enjoy you're time here :D I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression:

Anyway let's get right to it,

Her imagination took her elsewhere: most days it was a petite café in France, partially covered by flowering vines whose fragrance intertwined with that of the coffee served inside. She would seat herself at a table nearest to the cobblestone street in order to watch handsome strangers pass by, sometimes catching their eyes. And her mouth would curve flirtatiously at passersby and her cheeks would blush like the sunset as the sun bowed below the horizon, leaving traces of pastel pigment in the darkening vast blue as a parting gift. And as darkness grew the vanilla moon would reflect in her eyes and she would sigh unto the stillness of the night, and closing her eyes she was the night, immune to the flock of memories that constantly pecked at her skin every day, reduced to this single moment of solace. And the moon would take her chin and guide her to the stars which reflected in her coffee cup warming her hands. “Isn’t it magnificent?” The moon would tell her. “This world.” She would agree with her eyes. And she would raise her coffee cup to her lips and drink in the moon and the stars. In this moment, however imaginary, she was content.


Hmm....well that appears to be some sort of dream sequence or just plain imagination there, which is certainly an interesting way to write a short story especially cause that way you get to toss out most things related to realism. And I think you have in fact managed to take pretty much full advantage of that hear with some really lovely imagery there, especially as it gets towards the end of the story.

And yeah, as the far as the content of the story goes, it seems to be on the surface just a bit of innocent imagination of someone finding themselves in a place that they've perhaps always had a dream of being in and doing something that they always perhaps wanted to do. But of course towards the end there, it appears to hint that perhaps this imagination is just some sort of escape from a far more sinister situation that's taking place in reality, and well, that's always going to make things very interesting there, isn't it? At any rate, this is quite an intriguing little story, and it certainly leaves you thinking, trying to understand exactly what might have been going on there.

Well at any rate, it was a very enjoyable read this one, and despite being as small as it is, it manages to pack a surprising amount of mystery into it. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall:

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Fri Jun 11, 2021 3:28 am
TheWarriorMingan wrote a review...



Hello Whit! I am once again doing a short late-night review. (Maybe early morning where you are!)

First of all, I'd like to say that I enjoyed this little piece, and I would love to know more about the narrator's imaginings. I like that you kept it short, but not too short. It would be nice if you separated this into two or three separate paragraphs, though. One other thing, do you have an introduction to this character? So that we can know a little bit more about her because of the beginning:

Her imagination took her elsewhere:

It sounds like you took an excerpt from a story and posted it, so maybe a little intro if this is a stand-alone! ;)

I love all the detail and her interactions with the moon! This part is especially elegant:
And she would raise her coffee cup to her lips and drink in the moon and the stars.

Overall, I love the whole thing! Welcome to YWS!

-Sincerely, Mingan

Remember: Follow your heart and nothing can go wrong. (concerning writing)




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Thu Jun 10, 2021 9:58 pm
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hello, here for a short review!

First of all, welcome to YWS!

This was such a beautiful piece. You paint this scene with just your words and the image is so beautiful. Your descriptions were so pretty and the words you used almost made it sound like poetry. I can't wait to see you expand this into a story.

My favorite lines were:

' “Isn’t it magnificent?” The moon would tell her. “This world.” She would agree with her eyes.'

One thing I noticed, is that you wrote this entire thing in one paragraph. I understand that this is not long enough to break up into smaller paragraphs, but maybe adding a few more spacing between the sentences would make it a lot more neater and easier to read. It is just a suggestion.


Once again, this was wonderful work. Keep writing!




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Thu Jun 10, 2021 9:12 pm
whit921 says...



I wrote this on a brief burst of inspiration, and I wasn't sure what to do after I had written this. I think I might come back to it and make another story around it, just to make it more of a story with a plot instead of just a single moment. I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this!





To be a master of metaphor is the greatest thing by far. It is the one thing that cannot be learnt from others, and it is also a sign of genius.
— Aristotle, Poetics