Published June 22, 2009
you and me together...
we'll be free forever...
thought it was a fairytail
but it aint so oh well
but we cant be free...
but we cant be free
'cause I'm stuck in this trap of a world...
along with every other boy and girl...
without you
without you
without you...
'cause you got in a car crash
I had to go to your funeral
It'll never be the same
without you
without you
without you...
'cause I'm stuck in this trap of a world...
along with every other boy and girl...
without you
without you
without you...
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141,462 Literary Works • 674,482 Reviews
Hey, welcome to YWS!
))
). Overall nice job 
))
If you haven't already, introduce yourself in the Welcome board! My fellow blue people (Greeters) want to say hello!
((Man, it's hard to review songs when you have a song stuck in your head
I liked this song. It was short, sweet, and simple, which I value in a song. It was really bittersweet and cute. The only thing I can say is maybe indicate what notes are held out, if any are. What I do to indicate this is just put an ellipse after the word so like 'I love you...' the 'you' would be held out.
I can't really say much about the rhythm because I have a song stuck in my head, (Happy Ending by Mika, I recommend it
((PM me if you have any question or need anything!
-Carly
Thanks for all of your ideas! It really means a lot to me and it helps me so much. God bless you too and you know he does.
Hey! Your song is short but you seem like you have a pretty good idea of writing songs! But you need a hook and for it to flow. Ryhyming would help to! Keep writing and God bless!!
"They can because, they think they can"