Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
You arrive in a foreign town. The roads are sandy, and old western music plays as you swing open the door to the saloon. "Beer", you say, and the bartender quickly fills you a glass and slides it over. Before it can reach you, a hand - a something intercedes. You look closer, and it's a glove grasping your drink loosely. The glass is slowly eaten away by the liquid inside, and you realize the bartender tried to poison you. You stand, looking for the man who saved your life, but the seat is empty. You spot a dark figure by the door, a gloved hand resting atop the handle. "Wait!" you shout, and the figure startles. The glove falls, revealing a hoof. You look closer under the hood, but there is no human face there - merely the elongated muzzle of a horse. Still, you think, you owe this horse your life. "You saved me," you say. "How can I thank you?" "When you reach your final destination," says the horse in a deep baritone, "Look the devil in the eyes, and tell him Juan sent you."
Well this was certainly an interesting story. Its very short but very punchy which makes it quite perfect for the genre that it happens to be in here and I have to say this one made me read it about three times instantly by just how catchy it was here. It definitely pulls off exactly what it sets out to do here.
I love the way that you've built this up here. Its a very simple setting that still tells you a lot with the foreign town situation and the description of what seems to be a more rugged and less developed area. It sets it up quite nicely for the idea that a bartender could very feasibly be giving someone a poisoned drink, and so when that part develops it feels almost inevitable and quite natural.
Then when that very dramatic moment with the glass literally melting from the force of whatever poison used is nicely balanced out by the humor coming through with the idea that a literal horse was the one who somehow saved this person. This just all comes together beautifully with that punch line at the end which ties this whole thing up nicely and then promptly makes one fall of the chair laughing. Its very well done.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254163
Reviews: 4102
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