Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
This is the beginning of my story. :) Hope you like!
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Okay, lets start here. Your punctuation. You need to fix periods in ""I just got home from school." I reply nervously." You don't need the period after school. And you seem to stop a lot of your sentences abruptly. But other than that, and maybe a few tweaks I would do for my own pleasure, this is pretty good. I like it!
This was great!
Hi watermelonloser98!
It's cool that you're sailing into the dephts of the 30's. It will take you so much research to pull it out, but I think it's a great idea. However I think I need more words in order to like it or dislike it. I think it's a potential short or long termed story!
Also I noticed that you wrote:
"Where've you've been?"
Is it wrong said because he's drunk? Or is it wrong written?
Anyway, you should continue and be very research driven. I'm sure that the coming up-continue of your story will tell us more about what you're aiming to.
Hi watermelonloser98!
It's cool that you're sailing into the dephts of the 30's. It will take you so much research to pull it out, but I think it's a great idea. However I think I need more words in order to like it or dislike it. I think it's a potential short or long termed story!
Also I noticed that you wrote:
"Where've you've been?"
Is it wrong said because he's drunk? Or is it wrong written?
Anyway, you should continue and be very research driven. I'm sure that the coming up-continue of your story will tell us more about what you're aiming to.
Keep on writing! And onward!