It's amazing how you can make me crumble without saying a word
Your love consists of hate and I can't stand that
But I love your hate and your poison words.
I can't acheive anything when you're not around
But when you are I always hit the ground.
Your hard shell isn't always going to protect you from
the spears poeple like yourself will throw.
Your jokes will be a Sunday afternoon show
someday.
I'll stay there though, right by your side like a seeing dog
(that's all I've ever been)
leading you through the dark.
I think you're either dependent on me
or I'm just intimdating
because I can take anything with a straight face
I can take your shit, can't I?
And when I can't, I tell you what's up
without hesitating.
But you can still put me down with one word, amazingly
(like David with his stone)
Your loving hate, it poisons me.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
I really liked this!!! I could really feel the passionate hate you felt about the person in the poem. Very well done.
I'm going to start with the grammar.
For poetry, you either use punctuation or you don't (with the exception of apostrophes). You can't choose to use periods, but not commas. So, you need to get some commas in here. Plus, they're always good because it better organizes information for the reader.
"Your love consists of hate and I can't stand that"
You have two independent clauses here, so you need a comma before "and."
"But when you are I always hit the ground."
A couple problems with this one. You have two independent clauses again, so you need a comma after "are." However, it's also bad form to end any clause with a transitive verb. Ending it with a "there" makes it much less awkward to read. Avoid starting with "But" as well.
"(like David with his stone)"
You're entire poem is about a fued, with no prior allusions given. All of a sudden giving a reference to a historical figure is very disorienting. You don't need this line, and your poem is better without it.
However, overall, this is a good poem. It's a rant against this other person, and it's a very well done rant. There's anger in the words, and it shows. Good job.