Hi there! Green here to review your lovely poem.
I really liked the use of sensory language to describe the beach, garden, and waterfall creates a clear and memorable picture in the reader's mind. I really like this stanza:
I take a stroll through the beach,
the smiling, soothing sand, tickling my toes
the honey gold sun bathing me
the waves swooshing is like a sweet song
because it conjures up such a beautiful scene in my head, and the alliteration of 'smiling, soothing sand' flows so nicely it almost rolls off of the tongue.
One particularly effective aspect of your poem is the contrast between the joyous and imaginative world of the speaker's daydreams and the harsh reality that comes crashing back in the final stanza. This contrast effectively emphasizes the speaker's desire to escape reality and adds an emotional depth to the poem. I can really understand what you are trying to convey in your poem.
In terms of structure, the poem does well in creating a sense of progression and movement, with each stanza building on the previous one to create a complete picture of the speaker's daydreams. The form of the poem, with its line breaks, adds to the ethereal and dream-like atmosphere.
In conclusion, this poem is an imaginative and sensory journey through the speaker's daydreams, using vivid imagery and a contrasting reality to add depth and emotion. The form and structure of the poem effectively create a sense of progression and movement, making for an enjoyable and memorable read.
I hope to read more of your poetry in the future, as I really loved this one. It was so refreshing to read, so clear and crisp in its imagery. You have a talent honestly!
Keep writing
Points: 6841
Reviews: 235
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