Young Writers Society

This poem is sweet and short, which is my favorite!!

I feel like there's a lot to dissect considering it's a short poem. It contains a very deep meaning that many people could relate to.

My favorite part is : (As if they didn't leave, just went for a swim in someone's gaze.) Again, considering how short this is, THIS sentence alone truly means so much. I feel like it's tough for some writers to put a lot of deep meaning and emotion into a small space but you really captured it perfectly! Amazing job:)

Wow. I feel really called out by this because I do this a lot. It's a simple poem, but it has the ability to get its point across really easily despite this. I love the metaphor in it. Some people might say that you should add more detail, but I personally think that it's already really good. I've read it quite a few times, and I love it more each time!
You're doing great!
Have a wonderful day/night!

OML, isn’t it uncanny that I always thought like this?! I haven’t lost anyone in my life(that is close to me) YET but god’s mercy but I always do this whenever I miss someone-that is always-my family live away from me, except from my mum and dad so I always miss them. It’s sad how we all live on Earth but we can’t always see the people we love or cherish, we can’t always know where someone we care about IS we can’t always know if a loved one is safe or not. And after we die? That’s worse than hell, in my opinion. Whether you’ve lost your child, sibling, parent/s, grandparents, relatives, friends-anyone. You don’t know if they’re safe, happy, even able to move, think-remember YOU. You don’t know what has happened to them.
Are they in a deep, deep sleep?
Some people like sleeping but honestly, it’s terrifying to think someone would sleep for eternity-engulfed in darkness with no concept of time or space. It’s terrifying to think we might end up like that, what would you do if the person you loved most was like that when they die? That’s chilling to the bone. But we can’t escape death.
Are they in heaven or worse…hell(whether it be any religion-heaven-happy place-hell-place you never want to go)??
Despite us humans having so many different religions and beliefs, it’s impossible in this generation to understand what happens to us when we die! It may be impossible in the future too. Guaranteed there IS a future. We can’t even take care of our own population and our own, only chance of survival-Earth. Sorry I’m rambling back to the topic! There are Greeks, Indians, Christians, Catholics, Hindus, Sikhs so many!! But, whatever our beliefs are-heaven and hell or the belief shared among many. That there is no heaven and hell. Then there is even the possibility of rebirth! Your loved one could even turn into an ant! Or a lion in their next life! The summary of this huge rant is:We should cherish every single second as much as we can. Live in the moment, chase your dreams. Do the right thing, hell even eat what you want, wear what you want, take care of yourself! Enjoy your life!
We must love, live and accept. We must be positive and cheerful, get good grades and live life. We never know in reality what will happen to us. That is reality.
Oof. I think I went a bit overboard there-apologies for being so depressing but I have very strong opinions on life and politics equally and it feels nice to get them out!! Also, I think it’s not that depressing since this whole review is describing how we should love life and live in the moment. Thank you so much for reading and have a good day/night!!

Hello, I Enjoyed this Poem as many others said it's short and sweet. You can feel the aching of loss within mixed with a sense of hope in such a soft way. Swimming In someone's eyes is a great metaphor that can convey so much. Forgive me it is a little hard to give feedback for a very short poem. My biggest issue is that even though it is as short as needs to be I would LOVE to see you tackle these themes deeper after reading this.



All around some great work keeps creating even when it gets hard.

Hello watercolours, nice to see someone who puts a ‘u’ in the word colours haha! I don’t typically review poetry simply because of how abstract it is, which makes it difficult for me but I decided to review this!

This piece packs a lot of emotion in such a small amount of words and tugs delightfully at my heartstrings, since this is something I’ve felt before that you have put perfectly into words. The only little error I notice off the top of my head is that depending on how it’s read, a comma could be put after others so instead of;

in the eyes of others

in the eyes of others,

Hey watercolours! looseleaf here with her first review of 2024 (yikes).

I must say I loved this poem! It was short and sweet, but I think you conveyed a beautiful image and story. I love how you organized it and the short sentences/phrases you used. It makes for a succinct and straight-to-the-point poem that can still be read a multitude of ways.

I look for lost loved ones

in the eyes of others

they didn't leave

just went for a swim

in someone's gaze

It is a nice poem actually. Can you emphasize on perfect rhymes. keep writing more poems. You have great potential

It is a nice poem actually. Can you emphasize on perfect rhymes. keep writing more poems. You have great potential