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The Sadness

by wanderingminds

It started in June, the sadness. As the trees shed their leaves and the world withered around me. It slowly crept up on me. June was when everything fell apart. For two months now I’ve been free, but all I feel is trapped. I’ve lost myself inside my own head. My mother worries. I sometimes scream silently and tear at my hair. I sometimes sit for hours staring at nothingness, tears streaming down my face. One phrase repeating itself over and over inside my mind. I don’t want to be inside my head anymore. I feel trapped inside my own skull. It hurts, every inch of my soul aches to escape my flesh prison. I now understand why people take their own lives; they cannot be inside themselves anymore. I remember as a girl the demons used to be out in the world. They used to terrify me, torment me. As I grew older the demons climbed out from underneath my bed and found their way inside my head. Now, no matter how fast I try, I cannot outrun them. They eat away at the happiness left inside me, they consume anything and everything left. And even as the trees become full and the sun shines down, my world has not changed.

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15 Reviews

Points: 748
Reviews: 15

Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:34 pm
Aaraju wrote a review...

Hi wanderingminds, here's a quick review for your writing.

Okay, first off, Wowww, that is so beautifully written. It's like you have printed your feelings into a paper and I guess, many people who have been depressed can relate to this. You have choosen the topic 'The Sadness' but I think the writer is not sad but is depressed. And no, 'sadness' and 'depression' are not the same things.

"I feel trapped inside my own skull. It hurts, every inch of my soul aches to escape my flesh prison." Couldn't have explained it better. You have described it so beautifully, like each and every escape just the way how it actually feels.

The length is also perfect as it does not bore the reader with so much about your depression. You have written just the perfect amount and used just the perfect words. You know, why use 500 words, if you can write it much better in just 200 words.

Lastly, thank you for this beautiful piece of writing. Keep on writing and good luck!

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Points: 471
Reviews: 6

Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:06 pm
azizaanjum01 wrote a review...

The poem definitely reflects its title. It is well described. It is one of the best things that I've come across today. I don't know if you have gone through such distress but I find it really relatable.

The language is clear and simple . It has got a spiritual theme, which I quite liked.

The writing brought such enthusiasm in me that I wished it to be longer! I mean you could describe how the depression and sadness lead to insanity and troubles. However I didn't dislike the ending.

Overall, it is a good writing and I appreciate your work!

Keep it up!

New year wishes!
That's all from me, Aziza :) :p :D ;)

Thank you so much! I wrote this at a time where I felt these feelings, and as I've gotten better it becomes harder to write in this same tone. I think I could still expand it, I am just worried the tone might change and ruin the feeling behind it. Happy New year :)

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Points: 430
Reviews: 2

Sun Jan 04, 2015 3:54 am
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AKinG says...

This is absolutely amazing, whether you've experienced depression or not, I think this piece shines the light on how you felt/are feeling. I think you can definitely expand on some ideas and recollections such as, "my mother worries" if you wanted to, but nonetheless. I think it's great

I think expanding it may improve it, but as I said bellow i'm worried the sincerity will be lost. Thank you though! :)

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9 Reviews

Points: 388
Reviews: 9

Sat Jan 03, 2015 3:50 pm
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Nightmare wrote a review...

Very deep and an exelent piece. My only problem is that i felt it was too short . Maybe try and extend it next time to make it two paragraphs instead of one? I don't know, but still very interesting piece. I like how you described depression and how it could lead to insanity. Believe me, I've seen it many times before in real life.

Nightmare's overall rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars! Yay!!!!!

Thank you :) I think it is too short as well. However I wrote it during a different time and I believe if I tried to lengthen it, the emotions would become false. I'll try make my next piece longer! Thank you :)

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
— The Bee Movie