Published November 4, 2009
It's dark, it's late,
And way too early.
Nightmares haunt me,
Destroying anything innocent that’s left.
The siren wakes me,
From my shallow sleep.
I'm here still,
Fighting a war for my peace.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,616 Literary Works • 675,170 Reviews
Hey wall flower! Welcome to the site, I'm glad you've posted your poem already
But, we actually have a rule that you should read and review two other things before you post your own, just so everyone gets some comments.
Anyway:
Basically, like the above reviewer said, it needs more explanation. It's a good basic idea, but work on getting a little more of that idea out on to paper (or computer screen). Sometimes (and this happens to me all the time) you have a really great idea, but it's hard to express it in words that will get your point across to the reader.
Hope this helps, PM me if you have any questions.
thanks
Hello Wall_flower. I'm Jayleigh
Okay, awesome first line in my opinion, however..."It's" and shouldn't there be a comma to symbolize a pause between dark and it's?
That's all I found.
But is this it? This sounds like an awesome start to a longer poem. I think you could expand on it a bit. Good luck!
-Jayleigh