12+ Violence

Ten Little Soldiers, Summarized in a Poem

"Ten little soldiers," the poem said

Every one would wind up dead.

So said the sampler in every room,

Forseeing each guest's most grisly doom.

On a shelf stood ten figurines

Their meanings were most plainly seen.

Ten guests they represented,

Ten guests who were resented.

Judge Wargrave, a crooked judge

General Macarthur, an army man with a grudge

Rogers and wife caused a loss of life

Anthony Marston drove people to strife

Emily Brent, to a fault, a prude

Phillip Lombard, a selfish dude

William Blore, a man of mystery

Dr. Armstrong, who did a drunken surgery

and Vera Claythorne, a neglectful nanny

Every victim was one of many

Criminals to whom no justice was served.

Each one got what they deserved.

Invitations from one "UNKNOWN"

Were sent to each, and in they'd flown

To Soldier Island, as known on the map

But in reality, a baited trap.

Soldier Island, a soldier's face,

So it resembled to those with taste.

Home to a celebrity dame,

So the falsehood fables claim.

Ten deaths within that place,

The culprit of which revealed no face.

For every death, a figurine cracked.

The lack of justice had left an impact.

Marston choked upon his drink.

Mrs. Rogers overslept, or so they think.

Macarthur was found with a blow to the skull

Rogers died by an axe not dull.

Brent was killed with the sting of a bee,

Armstrong washed up by the sea.

Blore, alas, was found just bearly

Wargrave was found in judge's livery.

In the end, but two guests remained.

Suspicions ran wild like a crazy train.

Vera shot Lombard in self defense

And hung herself on a supernatural pretense.

So foresaw a poem so gross,

That ten guests would wind up as toast.

The mastermind behind this plot

Had risen from the dead to harm this lot.

Determining his identity was hard

Despite the efforts of the Scotland Yard.

But a clue found in the ocean sludge

Revealed the culprit to be the judge.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
DreamWork
Review

Hello there, ComicalCrafty! Have a great day. Just a short-quick review on your poem.
Honestly, I really impressed by the rhymes you applied inside your poem. Some are really amazing (through I think it would be harder to find the perfect rhymes here). But somehow, it just work through these parts;

To Soldier Island, as known on the map

But in reality, a baited trap.

But a clue found in the ocean sludge

Revealed the culprit to be the judge.

I like how you put the characters and their personalities (all from the novel/story you read before). I have no problem but just enjoyed them. The only thing that would help you here is try to make something that can make the rhymes flow smooth(it doesn't have to be perfect) but make it worth it to use. Refer to the other rhyming poem and try to learn as much as you can as an experimental poetry. Sure it would be fun! Good luck :)

User avatar
KingLucifer
Review

Hello ComicalCrafty! I'm Avalon and I'll be doing you a review.

There are many things I like about this poem that truly made it happen, and I can't come up with anything wrong with this poem. First I loved the rhyme scheme that you had going on during this and I loved and felt it really made this poem. But there were a few parts that didn't rhyme so well.

"Blore, alas, was found just bearly

Wargrave was found in judge's livery."

Bearly and livery I didn't feel rhymed so well during this poem mainly because of the emphasis on Bearly in my opinion but this is what I feel is the only interruption. Next is the formatting, most would just leave it off to the side and not worry about it but you have it centered which made me feel this was written by a professional. I'm skipping over any grammatical errors there might be because someone else will come along and pick those out.

This has been Avalon and this was your review, keep writing!



hmmm. you know, the quote generator deserves some garlic bread
— SilverNight