"Ten little soldiers," the poem said
Every one would wind up dead.
So said the sampler in every room,
Forseeing each guest's most grisly doom.
On a shelf stood ten figurines
Their meanings were most plainly seen.
Ten guests they represented,
Ten guests who were resented.
Judge Wargrave, a crooked judge
General Macarthur, an army man with a grudge
Rogers and wife caused a loss of life
Anthony Marston drove people to strife
Emily Brent, to a fault, a prude
Phillip Lombard, a selfish dude
William Blore, a man of mystery
Dr. Armstrong, who did a drunken surgery
and Vera Claythorne, a neglectful nanny
Every victim was one of many
Criminals to whom no justice was served.
Each one got what they deserved.
Invitations from one "UNKNOWN"
Were sent to each, and in they'd flown
To Soldier Island, as known on the map
But in reality, a baited trap.
Soldier Island, a soldier's face,
So it resembled to those with taste.
Home to a celebrity dame,
So the falsehood fables claim.
Ten deaths within that place,
The culprit of which revealed no face.
For every death, a figurine cracked.
The lack of justice had left an impact.
Marston choked upon his drink.
Mrs. Rogers overslept, or so they think.
Macarthur was found with a blow to the skull
Rogers died by an axe not dull.
Brent was killed with the sting of a bee,
Armstrong washed up by the sea.
Blore, alas, was found just bearly
Wargrave was found in judge's livery.
In the end, but two guests remained.
Suspicions ran wild like a crazy train.
Vera shot Lombard in self defense
And hung herself on a supernatural pretense.
So foresaw a poem so gross,
That ten guests would wind up as toast.
The mastermind behind this plot
Had risen from the dead to harm this lot.
Determining his identity was hard
Despite the efforts of the Scotland Yard.
But a clue found in the ocean sludge
Revealed the culprit to be the judge.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hello there, ComicalCrafty! Have a great day. Just a short-quick review on your poem.
Honestly, I really impressed by the rhymes you applied inside your poem. Some are really amazing (through I think it would be harder to find the perfect rhymes here). But somehow, it just work through these parts;
I like how you put the characters and their personalities (all from the novel/story you read before). I have no problem but just enjoyed them. The only thing that would help you here is try to make something that can make the rhymes flow smooth(it doesn't have to be perfect) but make it worth it to use. Refer to the other rhyming poem and try to learn as much as you can as an experimental poetry. Sure it would be fun! Good luck
Hello ComicalCrafty! I'm Avalon and I'll be doing you a review.
There are many things I like about this poem that truly made it happen, and I can't come up with anything wrong with this poem. First I loved the rhyme scheme that you had going on during this and I loved and felt it really made this poem. But there were a few parts that didn't rhyme so well.
"Blore, alas, was found just bearly
Wargrave was found in judge's livery."
Bearly and livery I didn't feel rhymed so well during this poem mainly because of the emphasis on Bearly in my opinion but this is what I feel is the only interruption. Next is the formatting, most would just leave it off to the side and not worry about it but you have it centered which made me feel this was written by a professional. I'm skipping over any grammatical errors there might be because someone else will come along and pick those out.
This has been Avalon and this was your review, keep writing!