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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey, vntgues91!
First off let me tell you that you have great word choice in this and an overall great topic you chose to write about. My favorite line has to be the last one, though icy and ice are a tad redundant in the same sentence. The only thing I could say from an editing standpoint is that your rhythm is a tad off. Some lines are longer than others and then followed by a line consisting of one or two words, which sounds a little strange when read. Try keeping each line around the same length. If they are, you can find ways to keep the short short lines and mix them in with the rest without them feeling so strange.
Great job and keep writing!
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