Published October 12, 2008
In Memoriam
Dearly Beloved
We are gathered here
Today
To remember those who bravely fell.
Fell to the sound of wailing sirens,
Fell to the sound of laughing tyrants.
Fell to the sound of marching feet
Fell to the sound of bitter defeat.
Dearly Beloved
We are gathered here
Today
To remember those who bravely fought.
Fought to the sound of children’s screams
Fought to the sound of shattered dreams.
Fought to the sound of pitiful cries
Fought to the sound of whispered lies.
Dearly Beloved
We are gathered here
Today
To remember those who lost themselves
Lost themselves to the beating drums
Lost themselves to the darkened slums.
Lost themselves to an empty bed
Lost themselves to the mutterings of the dead.
Dearly Beloved
We are gathered here
Today
In Memoriam
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
Oh no! Why? Please, tell me.
unfortunately i found it contrived
poo
Sorry about it being depressing for you. You mentioned what they say at someone's funeral. The 'Dearly Beloved...' is actually used at weddings. My using it, therefore, is a bit of a contradiction methinks.
Thank you for that advice. I think I will take out the 'so' as you suggested.
Thank you for reading and for leaving a little comment about it. It is greatly appreciated.
Wow this is really good. It's very serious and somber, but well worded.
Take out the "so" to make it "To remember those who bravely fought." The rhythm fits better that way and remains consistant. I don't see any other mistakes. Good job and keep writing
Wow...
Okay this is probably the most depressing thing that I have read or seen all day....It was very good, very serious, very down to Earth....I don't know how else to explain it. I liked it....I wonder if this is what they said at someones funeral....is it? It made since to me for some odd reason. Very good. I didn't see any typos or grammar errors because I was so focused on the words that I didn't notice anything else. This is deffinitly going on my featured works! GREAT JOB!