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Young Writers Society


16+ Violence Mature Content

Poor Amy..

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*Before you read this,I should say a few things:This is fanfiction for a Creepypasta named Laughing Jack.I don’t own Laughing Jack.  LJ is from the Creepypasta fandom, created by Snuffbomb. I repeat, he is NOT my character. (There is also a character named Isaac mentioned in this story.He also belongs to the Creepypasta fandom.He is in LJ’s origin story). Now, what is Creepypasta? For those who don’t know, Creepypastas are horror stories copy and pasted on the internet. They don’t have to be just stories,though.They can be images or videos.Basically anything horrifying you can find on the internet and copy/paste it to somewhere else.Who is Laughing Jack? Laughing Jack is a creepy clown who kills kids. He pretends to be a child’s imaginary friend and then he brutally murders them and traps their souls in his carnival.The parents go crazy too.(I suggest googling LJ to know more.I must warn you that this fanfic and LJ’s actual stories are VERY gory/bloody/disturbing.) As always, Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy. (Oh yes and to set the vibe, listen to the song “Hello little girl” from the 2014 Into the woods movie while reading this.)

It was a sunny day in England, 1983 and eight year old Amy was picking flowers in her backyard. She and her family had a pretty garden where she loved to come to pick flowers.

She picked flowers to make up for her lack of friends.

No one wanted to be friends with someone who lived in a farm, which was where she lived. Even worse, the farm was only five minutes from the rich neighborhood, so her family stood out. Not in a good way.

Often, Amy would see girls with their friends and she wished more than anything to have one too , someone to talk to. Someone to play with.

A friend.

As she was thinking about this, she heard the soft tinkling of “Pop goes the weasel” playing. Huh. That was odd. Where could the music be coming from?

Out of the corner of her eye, Amy saw a long , black claw reach out to her from behind one of the barn doors. The claw beckoned for her to come closer.

Amy, curious as ever , ran towards the claw.

Once Amy was inside the barn,the door was slammed shut. Amy tried searching for something, anything to get light, but someone else did it for her.

Amy blinked, surprised. Who could it be?

“HIYA, AMY!” A loud, booming voice squealed happily.

Amy turned around to face the owner of the voice.

A seven foot tall monochrome clown person, with a long, black and white nose, smiled down at her with a thousand pointy teeth. His hands looked like the claw that had beckoned for her. Was he calling for her?

“My name is Laughing Jack! There is no need to be afraid of me, I won’t hurt you! I know I look menacing, but trust me, I’m not like those scary clowns you see on TV!” He chuckled suspiciously.

Amy honestly didn’t trust him in the slightest, but she also wanted to see what he would do if she stayed longer.

So she smiled and said:

“Of course. I won’t run away from you.”

He smiled at this reply and grabbed the girl’s small hand.

Boy, her hand sure looked tiny and weak in his enormous claw. Was it really worth it, to stay and see what he would do?

Amy shook off all of her fear and stayed firmly in his grip.

The clown climbed on the barn wall, making sure to put Amy on his back, so she wouldn’t fall. Then, he opened a barn window and out he jumped, Amy still clinging onto his back like an animal.

“See! That was fun, wasn’t it?” Laughing Jack asked.

Amy shrugged. She was getting a little nervous around him , after seeing his claws , teeth , size, and strength.

But she’d be fine. She knew it.

He started running towards the dark forest, which had been around before her family’s barn.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Follow me!” He called out excitedly.

Amy hesitated and looked back to her house, wondering what her parents would think if she ran off.

“Please? I need a little friend to go on an adventure with me!“

Amy giggled. He was...pretty...adorable...maybe he wouldn’t hurt her...

Amy ran towards him and he took her hand in his claw, the two of them running farther and farther away from home.

..........…………………………………………………….

“How…long...are..we...going...to...run?”Amy asked, panting. She stopped to catch her breath. They had been running for miles and it was already dark out. She couldn’t run anymore. She was too exhausted.

“We’re already here, Buttercup.” LJ said.

He picked Amy up and carried her to...to...

“WOW! This place is amazing!” Amy beamed.

It was abandoned, yes. It was broken down, yes. But nonetheless, it was still an amazing and glorious...

“...Carnival...” Amy said breathlessly. She had never seen such a sight in her life. Even though she lived near a fancy neighborhood, the other people wouldn’t let “filth like her” see all of the actual wealth people owned.

The clown smiled at her and she smiled back. He sure did a lot of smiling! But Amy didn’t mind. It was a nice switch from her parents, who were serious all the time.

“You like it?” LJ asked.

“Like it? Like it? I LOOVVVEEEE it! It’s the most beautifulist thing I’ve ever seen!” Amy giggled happily.

He lowered her gently to the ground. Now, Amy was beginning to trust him more.

“It’s nice to know someone likes it. This is my carnival. I made it.”

You made it?” Amy asked, wide-eyed.

He nodded.

“It wasn’t always like this. I wasn't always like this. Me and my carnival used to be so beautiful and full of color...until...that boy...Isaac...”

“Who was Isaac?” Amy asked.

“Nobody important, child.Now, what are your biggest wishes?”

“My biggest wishes?! Well, I want to never grow up and to always be in your amazing carnival! I want to stay with you forever! You’re so nice and cool!” Amy beamed.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”He asked, smirking at her.

“Of course that’s what I want!” Amy jumped up and down excitedly. She could barely contain herself.

“Alrighty then. I can make all of your wishes come true. Follow me, to that tent over there.” He pointed with a long, claw-like finger to a dirty circus tent.

Amy ran over to the tent. She wasn’t sure what would happen once she got inside, but she was sure that it would be good.

……………………………………………………………….

Amy was finally inside of the circus tent and...

…and...

…and immediately wished she weren’t there at all.

Surrounding her were millions of disgusting, bloody and mangled children, just like her. They all had candy spilling out of their bodies where their guts should be and there were cockroaches eating their rotting flesh.

She swore she could hear children voices call out to her, warning her. Telling her to run before it was too late.

Maybe they were the dead children speaking to her.

Amy turned around, about to run for her life, but before she could do anything,a pair of long arms grabbed her, clutching at her, almost cracking her ribs and a deep, menacing voice growled:

“Gotcha, you little useless shrimp.”

Amy tried screaming, but he clamped her mouth shut. She knew who it was, even before she looked at his face. The arms holding her were familiar to her now.

It was Laughing Jack.

She had fallen straight into his trap.

The poor girl began to cry and kick her little legs, desperate to run back home, to escape.

But he pinned her aggressively to a wooden board in the tent and began nailing her hands to the wall.

“STOPPP ITT! Please!“ Amy cried, feeling utterly helpless.

He just cackled evilly and ripped her stomach open with one of his claws.

Amy stopped screaming and stared in horror at her very own organs, crawling to the floor, sinking away from her.

It was wrong. It was unnatural. Why were all of her organs leaving her?

He smiled wider at the frightened girl.

“Stop it. Smile, we’re playing a game.Now, be a good little girl and open your pretty mouth for me.” He said.

She kept her mouth firmly shut, tears leaking out of her weary eyes.

“Fine. If you want to be naughty, I’ll do it for you.” LJ said.

He forcefully opened her mouth with his claws and pulled her tongue out.

Then, as if that wasn’t painful enough, he plucked out each of her teeth, one at a time.

Amy couldn’t talk or scream now, even if she wanted to. She didn’t look like Amy anymore. She looked like some terrifying, wretched, bloody monster.

“We’re not done yet, cutie pie.” He said.

Ugh! She thought those nicknames were cute at first,but now she wanted to vomit! She should have never trusted him!

He reached out towards her face...

...Amy tried to pull away from him, but the nails on her hands and the fact that she was losing blood quickly made it difficult and pointless.

He...he...plucked out her eyes!

Amy could feel herself dying, fading into nothingness.

LJ took the nails off of her hands and cradled her in his arms.

Did she hate him? When he was killing her, yes.

But even though he was responsible for the damage done to her, she thought it was oddly comforting that he was holding her as she died.

It was like her Mom holding her after she came home from a rough day at school. Or her Dad soothing her after she had a nightmare.

“Aww...Amy...don’t cry...when you die...you’re going to stay with me and a bunch of other children here. Maybe you’ll become friends with them, who knows? You’re not alone and you’ll never ever be alone, because I’m going to bring other children here, for years! I’ll never stop.“

Amy wished she had the ability to smile. If only he hadn’t messed up her face, the action wouldn’t be so hard.

Maybe dying and staying with him forever wouldn’t be so bad after all. It wasn’t like anyone would miss her or anything.

Well, her parents would. But they would be fine. They were adults, adults could get through anything.

Amy heard the soft tinkling of “Pop goes the weasel“ playing before everything went black...

A/N:In stories, people will have nightmares of being in his carnival and finding a tent with dead child bodies.So that’s what the tent is.

*There is a reason Amy lived in England. In the original story, LJ is from London, England. Amy lived in Isaac’s old house. Also, in his origin story, he vomits cockroaches in the dying body of his original owner, Isaac. This is the only time he canonically does this. I decided to write about it here because I thought that it was gross and creepy-perfect for this.*


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Sat Sep 24, 2022 6:15 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review, brought to you by Review Day!!

Well, this was a certainly horrifying story! I think it was very trope-y but in the best ways; it always sends chills up my spine to hear about a creepy clown who harms children in some way. Your descriptions were also nicely executed and were definitely quite terrifying

One thing I enjoyed was the disturbing aspects. When you marked this as horror, you certainly meant horror. I think the choice to have the big horrific reveal happen when Amy was most trusting of Laughing Jack was a great choice—it doesn't come as a surprise, necessarily, but it still is quite unexpected. The characterization of Laughing Jack was also good; I think honestly, the most disturbing part for me was when he held Amy's dying body and she wanted to smile. It was pretty messed up, and almost felt like she was glorifying her murder.

One thing I did wonder about was your choice to bold the dialogue once Amy was starting to become more afraid of Laughing Jack. To me, it felt pretty unprofessional and inconsistent, especially since you hadn't done it before. I was curious what you meant to convey, and if there is perhaps another way to do it. It felt slightly jarring as I was reading. And, like the other review mentioned, I do think it would be nice for some more showing throughout—it could be elevated to a new level of horror if you added some originality to your descriptions.

Specifics

No one wanted to be friends with someone who lived in a farm,which was where she lived.Even worse,the farm was in a rich neighborhood,so her family stood out.Not in a good way.


I was a little thrown off by this part; I normally associate neighborhoods with closely placed houses, like in the suburbs or cities. I feel like farms are a more rural thing, so I wondered if maybe you could change it so that the farm is perhaps outside of the rich neighborhood rather than in it. To me, it just felt oddly placed.

Overall: nice work. I think the actual tale of this is pretty terrifying and gruesome, and with a few small changes, you could really play up that horror and have something even more horrifying. Until next time!




vampricone6783 says...


Thanks! I bolded the dialogue to make his voice sound deeper.



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Wed Aug 17, 2022 5:35 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



Hi! I hope you are having a great day or night, whenever you may be reading this!
There were a couple things about this that stuck out to me right away. I quite liked your introduction. I thought it was descriptive, and characterized Amy very well, and really liked how you set the scene! And the ending was genuinely chilling. Going to be honest here, but I kind of dismissed the warning in the Authors Note, as it's quite rare for a book (or even a movie) to get to me in the way your conclusion did. I was very disturbed, to say the least. Kudos to you!
I do wish you focused on Amy's pain a little more (sheesh, that's morbid) When Jack is disfiguring her in such gruesome and horrible ways, you'd think her suffering would be a tad more excruciating. When you're in that much pain, especially if you're as young as Amy seems to be, you wouldn't have room in your brain for such cohesive thoughts. Side note, in one of the first short stories I ever made, I wrote about a girl who was thrown off a cliff. I got a lot of really good reviews from it, but the one the advice that sticks with me is how "If this character could think at all, it would be about how the wind howled and she couldn't breathe" (Or something like that, I might be paraphrasing here, lol) Younger me wanted to write something poetic, about how perhaps "the gods would have mercy and grant her wings" or some melodramatic jazz like that, but what I learned from that particular work was that readers find tragedy, less in what the author says, but more so in what the characters do. And yes, this is another way of saying show-don't-tell, and I'm sorry for that.
Apologies for the tangent. I was partway through giving you concise advice about how it seemed unrealistic for Amy to be so coherent in her last moments, and I was like "Why does this sound so familiar?" lol.
Regardless, this piece had everything. It was horrifying (children dying always are) yet still, strangely, a bit heartwarming? I don't know much about Laughing Jack, or Creepypastas in general, but I do really hope Amy can find peace with the other kids. Whether that's true or not, (probably not, it's an internet horror story) I do not know.
So with that, keep on writing, and have a great day! :D




vampricone6783 says...


Thank you so much for your review.




The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
— Patrick Star