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Merry Xmas-A short Christmas story (but with ghosts)

by vampricone6783


*I’m still on my break for origin stories,I’ll get back to them soon.Some of the characters are from my story:”The town of Richardson:part two.” You can look at Gacha Club character designs on my wall.

………

I woke up to the smell of warm cookies baking in the oven.

I smiled.The Christmas season had arrived.

I ran down the stairs,a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.

My Dad and my little sister,Rosina, were baking cookies in the oven.Except Rosina was getting more cookies in her mouth than in the oven.

Mom was probably getting a bargain on Christmas trees.She always got bargains on anything.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Ava Addams and I'm thirteen years old.I have a little five year old sister named Rosina.She's a sweetie.I have a Mom and Dad too.We live in the Adirondacks and Christmas is my favorite holiday.

I couldn't wait to watch Christmas movies and bake cookies and watch the fire.

My Mom gave us a wonderful tree and we ate delicious food and even better cookies.

"Ava,we have news." Mom said.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Your aunt in New York City is very lonely.She could never have children of her own and her husband died last year.We tried visiting her,but we didn't have enough money.Now that we have enough money,we can go see her! We're going to spend Christmas with your Aunt." My Mom said.

I spit out my cookie.

"WHAT?!" I screamed.

"Now Ava, don't get upset." My parents said.Rosina was too young to care.

"I was looking forward to all of our Christmas traditions...." I said.

"Traditions change.Now get ready,you two.We're getting ready to go." Mom and Dad said.

……..

We drove off to the big city.

Even though I shouldn't be upset, I was. I wanted to do things like we did every year.

Finally,we made it to a fancy apartment.

I never saw anything like it.My mouth dropped.There was a beautiful crystal chandelier hanging above us.The apartment had velvet curtains and a high end restaurant.

It was beautiful,but it wasn't home.

We got on the elevator and went to my Aunt's room.

My Mom knocked on the door.

The door was answered by a woman with crazy blond hair and a beautiful smile on her face.Her eyes were dark brown.She had long lavender nails.Her blue dress was made out of cashmere.She had everything but people.



She was rich,but lonely.

Just then she hugged us.

"My,you've grown! I'm so glad you came! I prepared everything for you! I'm going to show you the big city! You'll love it! You can call me aunt Diana." She said.

Aunt Diana seemed nice,but I missed home.

After we got settled,we went to see a beautiful Christmas tree,we shopped and then we went ice skating.It was wonderful,but new for me.Rosina was smiling and laughing and Mom and Dad were being mushy with each other.

Then,we got hot cocoa and marshmallows from a fancy càfe.



……..

While I was putting my face in warm chocolate,I was also staring at the house across the street.It was old and abandoned.There was a sign on it that said:"Where the Chriselles lived before the wife left."

"Who were the Chriselles?" I asked.

Aunt Diana sighed.

"Oh,it's a tragic story.Long ago in the 1860s,there was a family who lived in that house.A mother and a father and their children Jackson and Susan.Their father was Sandy Chriselle and their mother was Rebecca Chriselle.Rebecca didn't love them,though.Sandy was rich,so that's why she married him.He married her because he loved her.The problem with Rebecca and Sandy is that Rebecca loved too little and Sandy loved too much.They had kids.They lived okay.But then the Chriselles were robbed and they became poor.Rebecca found another rich man and married him.Sandy was left to take care of his children.He tried providing for them,he really did.But they died out of starvation on Christmas day.Nobody ever buried them.Their bones are rotting on a pile in the old house." Aunt Diana said.

That was the saddest story I ever heard.That was the saddest and most horrifying story we all heard for something to be told on Christmas.I wasn’t even in the mood to drink my hot chocolate.Rosina was singing to herself earlier,now that she heard the story,she stopped singing.Mom and Dad glared at our Aunt for telling the story and she just sighed sadly,as if she wanted to say more,but didn’t.



We sat in silence.

……

Later,we went shopping at some random department store to get decorations,but soon I heard someone shivering and whimpering.

I followed the sound.It was coming from behind the store.

I ran outside.There was a little girl in rags,shivering in the cold.There was an older boy about my age,who was trying so hard not to whimper and he was consoling her.There was an older but still handsome man who was with them.He was also cold,but he tried and failed to keep the kids warm.

My heart shattered.Here I was,with my family,going home to a fancy warm apartment,harrumphing about not being able to make cookies,while this family was neglected and shivering in the cold.They probably never had cookies or felt warmth.

I wanted to help.I really did.

But I didn't know what I could do.

I held the blanket I bought from a store.Originally,I was going to use it for myself.But they needed it more than I did.

I handed the blanket to them.

Their eyes widened with shock.They took the blanket.

The family didn't say anything.They didn't have to.The look in their eyes said all.

I ran back to my Mom.

"Where is your blanket?" Mom asked.

I pointed.

"You gave it to them?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Can I help them more? They probably never even had a Merry Christmas.I just wanted to help." I said.

"Sure,you can help them." My Mom said.



………..



Everyday,I visited the family behind the department store.I gave them food and clothes and warmth and kindness.That was all they ever wanted.We talked to each other about life and everything.

The man was the father of the two children.The boy was the girl's older brother.

I loved to help them.My only wish was that they didn't have to live behind the Macy's department store.

When I got back to Aunt Diana's apartment,My parents and my Aunt ran to me.Rosina was wrapping up presents and failing miserably.

"Dear,do you want to do volunteer work?" They asked.

"What's volunteer work?" I asked.

"Volunteer work is helping other people in need.You seem to enjoy helping other people,so this would be perfect." They said.

I smiled.

"Of course I'll do it." I said.

………

I took up volunteer work and helped others in need.

I went back to the apartment and sat in my room.

"Nobody ever buried the Chriselles.Their bones are in a pile at that house.I'm going to change that." I said to myself.

"Who are you talking to?" Rosina asked.

"Nobody." I said.It was my honest answer,after all.



……………

When everyone fell asleep,I grabbed my coat and shoes.I ran out of the apartment.

I ran past the cheery shoppers,star-crossed lovers and ice skating families.I had one thing on my mind.Bury the Chriselles.

I found the abandoned house,all tucked away in a corner,as if it wanted to hide itself from the festivities of Christmas.

I ran through the house,checking through every drawer,every nook,every cranny.Any place that would store bones.I mean,my aunt Diana said that the Chriselles died in 1868 and that no one really cared about them in life,but maybe their bones were still there.

Maybe.

But when I checked through the house…



…nothing.

I couldn’t find them.I couldn’t bury the Chriselles.Heck,my parents were probably calling the police now,ordering a search on me.I should get back home.



Ow!”  I cried out,my foot bumping into something.

I looked down.

All lined up perfectly,there was a large skeleton the size of an adult male,a smaller skeleton the size of a teenage boy and a really small skeleton that must have been the size of a little girl.

I don’t know how they got there or why they were lined up so perfectly,but they were there.

Sandy Chriselle,Jack Chriselle and Susan Chriselle,all lined up as if they had been waiting for someone like me.Maybe they have.

I grabbed their bones and ran to the cemetery.

……..

There were people mourning families and crying over them,but I ignored them.

I found an untouched spot under an evergreen tree,I took a shovel and began burying them.

"Hey kid,what are you doing?" Someone asked behind me.

I turned around.Standing before me was my Aunt Diana.She looked concerned.I wouldn't blame her,but I had things to do.Important things.

"You know the story of the Chriselles? How they were never buried?" I asked.

"Yes,I do." She said,rolling her eyes at me.I smiled.

"I'm going to bury them." I said.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because they shouldn't be rotting in a pile at an abandoned house.They should be in the cemetery,like others." I said.

“First off,Ava,if you want to help them,you should mark their graves,so people will know who they are.I’ll call someone tomorrow and tell them we’ve got bones to be marked.” Aunt Diana said.

“Ugh! We’re wasting time,we can’t we just bury them already?!” I asked,annoyed.Not a moment was to be wasted!

“Because this kind of stuff has to be done with care! For now,we’ll bury them,but tomorrow,I’m going to have make some calls to the funeral service about this.”

“Alright.” I sighed.She was right,after all.At least she was going to help me out.

So,without further ado,we buried them.

Suddenly,the strangest thing happened...

…..

Standing in front of us was the family from behind the department store.

"Why are you here?" We asked.

They just pointed to the ground.

"YOU'RE the Chriselle family?" I asked.

They nodded.

All this time,I had been talking to ghosts and I didn't know it.I guess when I buried them,they could pass on to Heaven.

Me and my Aunt Diana were the only ones who saw them glide to Heaven.They shone their heavenly light and flew to their freedom.

Like a perfect Christmas movie,it started snowing.

Me and my Aunt proceeded to go home.(Even though we didn’t want to.)

Christmas just got better.

…..

The next morning,I ran outside to the living room to open my presents.Christmas music was playing and my family was smiling.It was so warm and lovely.

But the thing that made me smile the most was looking out the window and finding the graves that had been erected for the Chriselle family and it was snowing.

I swore I saw the North Star.


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Sun Dec 05, 2021 5:45 am
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Chairywrites wrote a review...



Hello, I've just recently joined this website and this was the first short story I've read and I can say, with confidence, that this is one of the best I've ever read. It has a child-like whimsy about it that I truly love in a story. It contained some character growth which is hard to come by in most short stories, so I congratulate you on that part. This story was very well done but there are a few parts to be improved, like most stories. The structure is a little odd to me as it's hard to read at times, but that is my opinion. Also, I think some sentences need a little work when moving on to another topic. But, all in all, you did a wonderful job and I can't wait to read more.
8.5/10




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Sat Dec 04, 2021 5:44 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a pretty neat little piece here. I think you've managed to create a decent little story here with a fun message. There are a few parts that could do with some fleshing out and a few other minor issues, but for the most part this was pretty good I think.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I woke up to the smell of warm cookies baking in the oven.

I smiled.The Christmas season had arrived.

I ran down the stairs,a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.

My Dad and my little sister,Rosina, were baking cookies in the oven.Except Rosina was getting more cookies in her mouth than in the oven.

Mom was probably getting a bargain on Christmas trees.She always got bargains on anything.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Ava Addams and I'm thirteen years old.I have a little five year old sister named Rosina.She's a sweetie.I have a Mom and Dad too.We live in the Adirondacks and Christmas is my favorite holiday.


Okayy...a slow but steady start here. It's a nice neutral sounding Christmas situation here and so far it seems that things are slowly getting off to a start without anything too unusual to contend with.

"Your Aunt in New York City is very lonely.She could never have children of her own and her husband died last year.We tried visiting her,but we didn't have enough money.Now that we have enough money,we can go see her! We're going to spend Christmas with your Aunt." My Mom said.

I spit out my cookie.

"WHAT?!" I screamed.

"Now Ava, don't get upset." My parents said.Rosina was too young to care.

"I was looking forward to all of our Christmas traditions...." I said.

"Traditions change.Now get ready,you two.We're getting ready to go." Mom and Dad said.


Oooh, well there's the first spanner getting thrown into the works. That's a good little inciting incident there to start whatever supernatural shennanigans are to follow. I think this is a good way to immediately show a little bit of tension within the family. Let's see where this ends up heading to.

I never saw anything like it.My mouth dropped.There was a beautiful crystal chandelier hanging above us.The apartment had velvet curtains and a high end restaurant.

It was beautiful,but it wasn't home.

We got on the elevator and went to my Aunt's room.

My Mom knocked on the door.

The door was answered by a woman with crazy blond hair and beautiful smile on her face.Her eyes were amber and her nails were long and lavender.Her dress was blue and cashmere.She had everything but people.She was rich,but lonely.

She hugged us.


Okay that's a decent introduction to the aunt and her style of life here. I like the emotions being thrown in there to respond to what's being seen here and so far this is getting off to a pretty good start for this part with the aunt.

"Oh,it's a tragic story.Long ago in 1868,there was a family who lived in that house.A mother and a father and their children Jackson and Susan.Their father was Sandy Chriselle,their mother was Rebecca Chriselle and Jackson and Susan Chriselle.Rebecca didn't love them,though.Sandy was rich,so that's why she married him.He married her because he loved her.The problem with Rebecca and Sandy is that Rebecca loved too little and Sandy loved too much.They had kids.They lived okay.But then the Chriselles were robbed and they became poor.Rebecca found another rich man and married him.Sandy was left to take care of his children.He tried providing for them,he really did.But they died out of starvation on Christmas day.Nobody ever buried them.Their bones are rotting on a pile in the old house." Aunt Diana sighed

That was the saddest story I ever heard.But we did other things to distract us from it.


Okayy...well that was quite a dark story there. Things are certainly kicking up a notch. I will say though, this whole storytelling part needs to be expanded a bit more and you need to show the reactions of the ones listening in here. Right now it reads as this big monologue and it feels like no one else is there in the room when they are saying this which doesn't seem to be the truth in this scenario.

I ran outside.There was a little girl in rags,shivering in the cold.There was an older boy about my age,who was trying so hard not to whimper and he was consoling her.There was an older but still handsome man who was with them.He was also cold,but he tried and failed to keep the kids warm.

My heart shattered.Here I was,with my family,going home to a fancy warm apartment,harrumphing about not being able to make cookies,while this family was neglected and shivering in the cold.They probably never had cookies or felt warmth.

I wanted to help.I really did.

But I didn't know what I could do.

I held the blanket I bought from a store.Originally,I was going to use it for myself.But they needed it more than I did.


Okayy...that's a really nice move by the main character here. It seems they are a fairly kind person to make a sacrifice like that for these suffering people that they see. Its a lovely little moment and you can see the sympathy form within the person quite nicely there.

Everyday,I visited the family behind the department store.I gave them food and clothes and warmth and kindness.That was all they ever wanted.We talked to each other about life and everything.

The man was the father of the two children.The boy was the girl's older brother.

I loved to help them.My only wish was that they didn't have to live behind the Macy's department store.

When I got back to Aunt Diana's apartment,My parents and my Aunt ran to me.Rosina was wrapping up presents and failing miserably.

"Dear,do you want to do volunteer work?" They asked.


Okayy...so that's an interesting little turn to take. It seems our protagonist has gotten very engrossed in helping out this one lonely family and the adult are being very supportive and trying to help our protagonist do even more. That's a lovely little message to see.

"Nobody." I said.It was my honest answer,after all.


I don't think that part really deserves to be a chapter there. If you want it to be one, you'd have to make that declaration about the bones a lot more fleshed out and show her actually discovering those bones and this volunteer work as well, we need a few scenes with examples. One line stating she did is simply just not really going to cut it.

There were people mourning families and crying over them,but I ignored them.

I found an untouched spot under an evergreen tree,I took a shovel and began burying them.

"Hey kid,what are you doing?" Someone asked behind me.

I turned around.Standing before me was a young woman with short chestnut brown hair and light cocoa skin.She looked concerned.I wouldn't blame her,but I had things to do.Important things.

"You know the story of the Chriselles? How they were never buried?" I asked.

"Yes,I do." She said.

"I'm going to bury them." I said.

"Why?" She asked.


Okay...I mean it seems unlikely that such a pile of random bones could be left for so long, but hmm, well it seems she is doing the right thing...and I like how someone does come up to question her about. Burying someone in a random spot at the cemetery isn't something you can just work in and do.

"Because they shouldn't be rotting in a pile at an abandoned house.They should be in the cemetery,like others." I said.

"Well then,let me help you." She said.

We buried the Chriselles together.

Suddenly,the strangest thing happened...


Okay...well that was easy..the other person just immediately agreed that this one was telling the truth and then actually joined. That is maybe not the most realistic cause anyone out burying bones randomly is going to be regarded as suspicious and should probably provide some proof of some sort.

They nodded.

All this time,I had been talking to ghosts and I didn't know it.I guess when I buried them,they could pass on to Heaven.

Me and the woman were the only ones who saw them glide to Heaven.They shone their heavenly light and flew to their freedom.

Like a perfect Christmas movie,it started snowing.

I waved goodbye to the woman and went home.Christmas just got better.


Well that's a fun ending...a pretty happy one there, not what I was expecting but I like it. I mean the reveal is very obvious right from the start that this family is clearly the ones who were dead, but its still a fun little moment here.

The next morning,I ran outside to the living room to open my presents.Christmas music was playing and my family was smiling.It was so warm and lovely.

But the thing that made me smile the most was looking out the window and finding the graves that had been erected for the Chriselle family and it was snowing.

I swore I saw the North Star.


Okayy...I think that's a pretty nicely done ending here to this particular situation. You've managed to create a nice little moment here for things to end on and I think it makes for a lovely ending.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this made for a really wholesome read here and its the type of story that manages to put a smile on your face, despite a few of the horrifying descriptions there for that poor. On the whole I think this was a neat little story. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sat Dec 04, 2021 3:02 am
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

What an inventive Christmas tale!! I loved the twist at the end; I actually didn't see it coming. I thought you were just going to use it as a parallel to the main character's path to benevolence and volunteering. I think your scenery was fantastic, and overall, you did a really nice job of capturing the Christmas spirit. It was quite delightful and whimsical!

One thing I would say is to go through and do some minor grammatical/punctuation edits. I noticed you don't usually put spaces after your commas when you should, or put spaces around periods. Also, just a quick note: when you have articles in front of familial titles (mom, dad, aunt, etc) you shouldn't capitalize them. So when you say "my aunt" or "my mom," you shouldn't capitalize "aunt" or "mom."

I also think that this moved a bit fast for a story. Your chapters weren't really chapters in the traditional sense; some were only a few paragraphs long. Since this is a short story, I think you could change those to page breaks, or include more information throughout. I definitely think you could expand this or leave it as-is; I think the plotline is really inventive and could definitely lend itself to a more expansive work, but reading it all in one sitting provides that nice twisty-yet-satisfying feel of a short story.

Specifics

I waved goodbye to the woman and went home.Christmas just got better.


One thing that did seem a little unrealistic to me was the fact that this woman was just a random lady who was totally down to help her bury bones. I think it would actually make more sense for this lady to be replaced with her Aunt Diana instead. Since Diana was the one to tell her about the Chriselles, and she was originally apprehensive about spending Christmas with her aunt, I think it would be a nice way to show how she actually had a nice time. Also, I think her aunt would be more down to help her bury some bones than just a random lady she bumped into.

Overall: nice work!! I enjoyed reading your holiday story, and I hope to read more from you on this site! Until next time!!






Thanks for the review! Those are some good points.I%u2019ll change the chapters into page breaks , get rid of the capitalization in some letters and I will replace the other woman with Diana.



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Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:05 pm
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CotardDelusionz wrote a review...



Nice story and good timing since Christmas is approaching. Short story but pretty and meaningful. I'm not much of a critic so I don't have much to say about this piece for amending. I also just noticed how much you have published on here, it's amazing you can right so much. I have trouble getting motivation to write or figuring out what to write about. All your stories seem unique and original too that's cool to see. I might check out another one of your stories some time.
keep writing!
sincerely.






Thanks for the review! I%u2019m glad you liked my story.%u2728




I wondered why we put villains in our stories when we have plenty of them in real life; then I realized that maybe we wanted stories where the good guy wins.
— nogutsnoglory