z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Mackenzie Johnson- Midnight Witch

by vampricone6783


*This is the origin of a character from my “Midnight Witch” stories. You can find this story underneath my folder titled “Midnight Witch x Y/N”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Sometime in October, in an uninteresting suburban house, there was a fifteen year old girl named Mackenzie Johnson staring out her bedroom window.

Her room had soft, pale pink walls, her bed was covered in white sheets, there were butterfly decals  on her walls and pictures of her family and friends scattered alongside them..

She had a white vanity that held black, blue, green, pink and purple lipstick, different colored glittery eyeshadow and perfumes by the dozen.

Mackenzie was sitting on a soft pink window seat, wearing a white tee shirt and white shorts .Her skin was a light brown, her long, black hair that went down to her waist had pink and white highlights. Her brown eyes sparkled with wonder.

For she wasn’t just staring at dead grass and one lone tree. She was waiting for her friend, Stacy.

Stacy wasn’t alive, she was a ghost. She was the same age as Mackenzie and had long, white braids and wore a white collared dress, white socks and black Mary Jane shoes.

She told Mackenzie that her dress used to be yellow and her hair was actually blond, but once she died, all colors disappeared.

Stacy had said to her when they first met that somebody murdered her when she was outside, picking flowers. She never got to catch her murderer, so she was bound to Earth. Sometimes, Mackenzie wondered what would happen if they both caught the person who killed her…

“Mackenzie?” A ghostly voice asked from behind.

She turned around and saw her, Stacy.

“I was just sitting next to you and you kept staring off-“

“It’s fine.”

“So, who are you taking out on the Halloween prom tonight?” Stacy asked, grinning mischievously at her.

The Halloween prom! Oh goodness, Mackenzie had completely forgotten about it! Most of the girls at school were dying for a “cute boy” to ask them out, so they could have someone to love and date.

But Mackenzie? She didn’t want a date. She just wanted to have fun and eat food, all with Stacy nearby.

Stacy herself, however…

“You HAVE to go out with someone, this is a big life experience!”

“It’s not. It’s really not-“

“Yes, it IS. You know what, I’m coming with you!”

“You can’t!”

If Stacy wanted Mackenzie so desperately to have a boyfriend, then she wasn’t welcome to come. Not anymore.

“Says who?”

“What if people see you?”

“You’re the only one who can see me.”

“But what if there are people in the school who can also see ghosts?”

“Why do you care? If I’m there, I’ll be sure you’ll get a wonderful boyfriend!”

“It’s not all about boys-“

“SHUSH!”

……………………………………………………………

“Alright Mackenzie, we’re here!” Her Dad said happily. 

Mackenzie was sitting in the passenger seat of her Dad’s car, wearing a pink beret that had pink flowers decorating it, a white choker, a pale pink dress, light pink and white tights, white shoes with even pale pink bows and white and hot pink stripped fishnet gloves. Her face had black lipstick and black eyeshadow.

The car was in front of Mackenzie’s school, ”REAGEN HIGH” and kids were flocking over to celebrate prom..

“Have fun.” Her Dad said.

“Kiss a cute boy!” Mandy, her little sister, squealed. She insisted  on tagging along, saying that “it’s boring to stay home with Mom!”. So, Dad let her go. She was “quite fun” for the whole ride.

“Sure, thanks.” Mackenzie responded. opening the door of the car and stepping out.

Mackenzie walked to the school with an uneasiness in her gut. Stacy was hovering next to her, she could feel the ghost’s presence.

Mackenzie had a bad feeling about the whole thing…

……………………………………………………………

Mackenzie walked down the dark, long hall of the school, until she saw bright colors shining out of a room.

The gym, where the prom was being held.

She entered the gym and was immediately met with loud music, vivid LED lights, kids in costumes dancing and goofing off with each other and animatronic monsters cackling and snickering evilly.

Mackenzie found a plastic chair in the farthest corner and sat herself down on it.

“You’re not wearing a costume, you go to a Halloween prom only to sit in the farthest corner…What  is WRONG with you? This is a big night!”

Stacy floated next to her, shaking her head, disappointed in the way she was acting.

“Look, I just want to enjoy my time-“

“You call sitting in a chair and brooding “enjoying your time?” “

“Oh my god, stop already!”

“Well, I’m just trying to look out for you. You get to live your life. I don’t.”

“You can’t decide how my life is!”

“If you can’t make any decisions, then I will for you!”

“What do you mean-“

“I’m going to possess you.”

Before Mackenzie could say anything, she felt a rush of a freezing, gripping chill enter her body.

……………………………………………………………

“Wow, Mackenzie! I didn’t know you could sing!”

Mackenzie blinked her eyes.

She was standing on the auditorium stage, holding a microphone, the whole crowd of costumed kids grinning at her.

Wait, did the party get extended to the auditorium?  Also, why was she on stage? Was that Stacy’s doing?

Yeah, Stacy probably did it. She must have gotten Mackenzie to sing in the auditorium and have the other kids watch her.

She was going to have to talk with Stacy about personal space…but first…she had to get off the stage...the lights were blinding…why was everything spinning?

Hold on…how come she was standing at the edge of the stage? Why was there yelling?

Oh gosh, the floor was staring to get even bigger. How was that happening?  Was she falling off the stage?

What was going on?

……………………………………………………………

Mackenzie groggily opened her eyes.

It appeared that she was still in the auditorium. Only, the Halloween decorations were all over the place,  the students and teachers were gone, and the lights were turned off.

And Stacy was the only other person there, standing in front of her.

“What happened?” Mackenzie asked.

Stacy giggled nervously and said:

“Funny story…I possessed you…made you go on stage and sing. You have a beautiful voice that deserves to be heard!  So..the people across the hall in the gym heard you..how could they not? The microphone was an ultra echoing microphone..I was starting to get a little nervous with all the people there…so I left your body…”

“And?”

“That’s when you got so dizzy and fell off the stage. You cracked your skull and other body parts and now you’re…dead?”

Mackenzie looked down at her clothes, which were all black and gray now. Her hair also had black and gray streaks in it.

“So you caused my death?”

“It was an accident, I swear!”

“You didn’t even think that possessing me was a bad idea?”

“I just wanted to help-“

“STAY OUT OF IT!”

“You kinda look like a Midnight Witch.”

“A what?” Mackenzie asked, surprised at the sudden comment.

“A Midnight Witch.”

“Hey, that’s a cool name. Maybe I’ll call myself that.” Mackenzie said. It was a nice distraction from her death, anyway.

“Nice.”

Stacy found a sword prop on the ground and gave it to her.

“You might need this as a weapon.”

“First of all, why would I need a weapon?  Second, this thing is probably plastic, it won’t work.”

Just what was Stacy getting at?

“Take this eyepatch.“

“Why are you giving me these things?”

“My whole afterlife and still, I can’t find my killer and I won’t rest till I do.”

“But you, you don’t have to find a murderer or anything like that. You can save other people from dying for the rest of your afterlife, as “Midnight Witch.” You’d be super cool!”

“This sounds great and all, but what am I going to do with a plastic sword?”

“You’re a ghost.”

“And?”

“Touch the sword and it will become real. Your paranormal touch can make it work.”

“Sure, whatever.”

Mackenzie touched the tip of the sword and suddenly, it didn’t feel like plastic anymore. It felt like a real sword.

Mackenzie put the eyepatch on one of her eyes…

“Why do I need an eyepatch?”

“To look cool!”  Stacy said brightly.

…and smiled at herself.

From getting possessed, to dying, to being a superhero, she certainly was going to have an interesting afterlife…


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151 Reviews


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Fri Mar 08, 2024 2:02 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello, friend!
I'm here with another review for another awesome origin story!! (sorry it took so long...)

Image

Per my interpretation, this was another outstanding work! I say it every time, but I really do love origin stories, and you really delivered with this one!!

Brief Summary: Mackenzie was waiting for her friend Stacy, who also happened to be a ghost, but when she arrived, the things she said started to get on Mackenzie's nerves. Mackenzie didn't have a date to the Halloween prom, and this upset Stacy, so she tagged along with Mackenzie in hopes of making her night a night to remember. And she did. When they arrived, Mackenzie wasn't having as much fun as Stacy wanted, so she possessed her, but in her acts of taking over her body, she accidentally killed Mackenzie, leading her to become the Midnight Witch.

This was such an interesting and unexpected plot!!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be a really small thing related to a missing word. When you were describing Stacy, I believe you missed a small word. You said,

She was the same age as Mackenzie, and long, white braids and wore a white collared dress, white socks, and black Mary Jane shoes.


But this sentence reads quite awkwardly the way it is, so I'd change it just a tad to make it look more like this:

She was the same age as Mackenzie, and had long, white braids and wore a white collared dress, white socks, and black Mary Jane shoes.


But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, there would be a couple!! There were lots of awesome things taking place in this wonderful work that made it a joy to read!!

The first thing that stood out to me while I was reading this story was when it was first revealed that Mackenzie was dead! You could feel the tension and how uncomfortable Stacy was telling her. You said,

“That’s when you got so dizzy and fell off the stage. You cracked your skull and other body parts, and now you’re…dead?”


You can tell that Stacy really didn't mean for it to happen and that she was quite sorry just from what she said here. She cared about Mackenzie and just wanted her to have some fun... She didn't think any of this would happen. This sentence did a great job revealing a lot about Stacy's character as well as revealing that Mackenzie was dead, so kudos to you for that!!

The other thing that caught my eye while I was reading was the ending! It felt like the perfect way to end this story and was a wonderful segway into the actual novel! You said,

From getting possessed, to dying, to being a superhero, she certainly was going to have an interesting afterlife…


I love what this eludes to! Anything could happen, and in Mackenzie's case, it is very much interesting! I really like the way this origin story ties into the rest of the story and leaves you wondering what might happen! It's a great way to draw readers in, so good job with that!!


Overall, I had a blast reading this!! You did a wonderful job writing and coming up with this origin story! I'll definitely keep reading your works, and, at some point, I will get to reviewing "The moster within"!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!




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Wed Mar 06, 2024 9:57 pm
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IllegallyExisting wrote a review...



This is a really good story! I'm a sucker for ghosts and the supernatural, so it was nice to see some more love for them. I like that most of the interactions feel natural, but I do say that Mackenzie almost IMMEDIATELY being distracted by Stacy calling her a Midnight Witch was a bit jarring. I think you should work on the pacing of certain sentences as well, but overall, this is very good! Please keep up the good work. :3





If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
— Anatole France