Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: I think was this was a lovely little story here. Its so simple and just so wholesome that really what more can you even ask from something like this besides making you smile and this one certainly managed to accomplish that.
Anyway let's get right to it,
It was a sunny day when Heather was playing outside and-
She grinned. It was her friend, Loraine!
Well this is seems like a pretty solid place to start here. It seems geared towards being a rather simple little story of two children finding someone to play with and this about all you could really want for a start with something so simple.
Loraine excitedly skipped to her house, Heather tailing after her.
She had very special friends. They were ghosts!
Everyone else was afraid, but not them!
“Just wait here. They’ll come.”
“I’m okay with waiting, Lolo.”
“Yeah! Me too.”
OOooh I was wondering when we were going to end up with the more supernatural aspects coming out to play because I've never seen a story of yours to not feature those and I was not disappointed. I can't wait to see where this takes us. I have a feeling this is perhaps a rare occurrence of a wholesome set of ghosts.
They were patiently waiting for the ghosts in Loraine’s room.
Heather grinned. She knew that the voices in her closet were the ghosts.
They were coming!
The first ghost, a clown who performed long ago, was appearing from the closet. He was like a father to them.
He didn’t say much about his own life, though.
They often wondered why.
OOooh I feel like I remember that clown from one of your origin stories but I'm not sure. At any rate I'm loving the very childlike enthusiasm of them just waiting for the ghosts all excited with no thought whatsoever of being scared or worried. Its such a different tone to what I'm used to seeing ghosts in and I love it.
“How are you today?”
“We’re fine. We just wanted to play.”
“Hm…okay. Well we have to get Mallory or else it won’t be fair!”
“Yes! Yes, of course!”
Hmm well that's a bit of a twist. It looks like the ghosts aren't just the friends but the fact that some of them are quite clearly much older than the girls has also led to the ghosts being somewhat in charge of this playtime and where it goes.
“We’re so glad to see you!”
Well this is nice to see these two reunited as ghosts and able to just have fun for a bit and play around again free of the sadness that must certainly have occurred from that untimely death there. Its a love little concept here.
“Where are the others?”
“Gone for the day. It’s just us.”
“That’s good enough.”
And Heather was content to play with her friends, Loraine and Mallory.
It wasn’t like her older sister May had any time for her.
And they enjoyed their time together, the three of them.
Such great friends they were…
Ahh that's a lovely little point to cap it off here. Some part of me never quite stopped worrying that just maybe this could end up taking a little dive towards the darker side here but it never did and I'm glad they just end up playing happily with each other.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: The only real improvement I would suggest to this one is that perhaps you should just get rid of the chapters, they're really quite tiny and honestly don't seem necessary at all. The whole things works just fine as one big single chapter.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.