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12+ Language Violence

Esmè’s story-Poor little girl

by vampricone6783


*Esmè is a character of mine from my story:”Eloise-the demented doll woman.” You can look at pictures of her on my wall if you want to know about what she looks like.

Once upon a time, in the 1960s, there was a little girl named Esmè. She lived with her Mom and Dad.

She loved her Dad, but her Mom…her Mom didn’t love her. Esmè didn’t understand why. She heard her Mom say something about wanting a perfect child. Esme didn’t understand.

Wasn’t she good enough?

But it didn’t matter, because Esmè had her father to talk to and play with.

One day, her father took her to the circus.

She got to have so many sugary sweets, listen to fun music, meet clowns and jesters and have a ton of balloons, enough to hand out to people at a theme park.

In short, Esmè got spoiled.



But she wasn’t a brat.

As Esmè was having fun, she saw a lady. The lady had blond hair and brown eyes. She was in a ringmaster costume. She looked so powerful and beautiful.

Esmè ran up to her and introduced herself. The lady smiled and told Esmè her name was Leona and she owned the circus. She was also the person who created the circus.

Now, Esmè was officially in awe of her. She owned this wonderful paradise?!

Esmè ran over to her Dad to tell him all about Leona. She asked if she could go here more often to talk to Leona. He said yes.

Esmè jumped up and down with joy.

From that day on, Esmè visited Leona. Leona would teach her tricks and tell her how she ran the circus. Esmè felt so loved by her.

That is, until this one day.

Esmè, wearing her favorite outfit, having her hair in two braids, went to Leona’s circus with her family.

When she got there, she came up to Leona and asked her very nicely if she had any circus freaks. (To play with, of course).

Leona had smiled and told Esmè and her Dad to follow her. They did.

The next thing she knew, Esmè had green snake skin, sharp teeth and yellow eyes!  She looked at her Dad and realized that he had the same curse, too.

Leona got her Mom over. For some reason, she didn’t curse her Mom.

Her Mom looked at them and deemed them ugly.

Esmè felt like she could cry. She knew her Mom didn’t like her, but it still hurt that she declared her ugly.

Leona separated Esmè from her Dad and locked her in a cage. For many days, Esmè was all alone. She cried. She missed her whole family.

Then, one day, Esmè found a key in her prison and unlocked the cage. She grabbed two branches and rubbed them together. One branch caught on fire. She dropped the stick to the ground and ran away.

Leona tried to stop her, but it was too late.

Esmè was free, for now..

But, Leona, in a black dress and cloak this time, came out of the fire and locked her in a cage. This time, there was no key for Esmè to free herself with.

Leona smiled at her.

“Time will pass, but you’ll stay four forever. The only way for this to change is for someone to free you.You’ll stay four when someone frees you, of course.  Only then will you have the ability to age again.”  Leona said, grinning widely.

Esmè didn’t understand what she just said. All she knew was that she would be trapped in this dark circus, forever.

Her life was ruined.

When Leona left her alone in her cage, Esmè cried and cried and cried, for it was all she could do.

How did it ever come to this?

Was this how the circus freaks felt every day?

Was this how they all felt?

This..this wasn’t fun at all.


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Points: 79
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Thu Nov 11, 2021 4:43 pm
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Liam024 wrote a review...



Hello! I'd just like to quickly point out several things that I noticed in your short story!

I really appreciate the use of short paragraphs—it breaks up things frequently and allowed (at least for me) for better processing of the story. In addition, it is also helpful that you separated them based on significant events (e.g. "Her life was ruined.").

One thing that I'd like to recommend is double checking your story for grammar conventions. Something that I frequently noticed was the lack of spaces between commas and words, which can make the reader focus more on the mistakes than the actual content.

Bonus: Nice French name, Esmè :D




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Wed Nov 10, 2021 6:15 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy...so I'm back at another one of these origin stories and this one appears to be from a different story which also appears have just as sad an ending as the other one did if this initial impression is anything to judge by here. Well, let's see where this goes here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Once upon a time,there was a little girl named Esmè.She lived with her Mom and Dad.

She loved her Dad,but her Mom…her Mom didn’t love her.Esmè didn’t understand why.She heard her Mom say something about wanting a perfect child.Esmè didn’t understand.

Wasn’t she good enough?

But it didn’t matter,because Esmè had her father to talk to and play with.

One day,her father took her to the circus.

She got to have so many sugary sweets,listen to fun music,meet clowns and jesters and have a ton of balloons,enough to hand out to people at a theme park.


Okayy....so this is off to a familiar sounding start..xD It does seem like this is a set of characters from a totally different story but we have a girl whose not very liked by her parents at least initially and then ends up going to a circus...but uhh, well, I'm sure something entirely different happens here and this is a solid sounding start. :D

In short,Esmè got spoiled.But she wasn’t a brat.

As Esmè was having fun,she saw this lady.She had blond hair and brown eyes.She was in a ringmaster costume.She looked so powerful and beautiful.

Esmè ran up to her and introduced herself.The lady smiled and told Esmè her name was Leona and she owned the circus.She was also the person who created the circus.

Now,Esmè was officially in awe of her.She owned this wonderful paradise?!

Esmè ran over to her Dad to tell him all about Leona.She asked if she could go here more often to talk to Leona.He said yes.


Ooooh, okay I have a feeling this is where maybe things start to really go wrong for this person here, because I do assume this is also something that maybe doesn't end too well considering most of your stories do revolve around more supernatural elements.

Esmè jumped up and down with joy.

From that day on,Esmè visited Leona.Leona would teach her tricks and tell her how she ran the circus.Esmè felt so loved by her.

That is,until this one day.

Esmè,wearing her favorite outfit,having her hair in two braids,went to Leona’s circus with her family.

When she got there,she came up to Leona and asked her very nicely if she had any circus freaks.

Leona had smiled and told Esmè and her Dad to follow her.They did.


Ooooh, I can just sense from that setup that something bad is about to go down here...and well, let's see where it goes. Esme just seems to be much too innocent for her own good with some of these things here.

They next thing she knew,she had green snake skin,sharp teeth and yellow eyes! She looked at her Dad and realized that he had the same curse,too.

Leona got her Mom over.For some reason,she didn’t curse her Mom.

Her Mom looked at them and called them ugly.

Esmè felt like she could cry.She knew her Mom didn’t like her,but it still hurt that she called her ugly.

Leona separated Esmè from her Dad and locked her in a cage.For many days,Esmè was all alone.She cried.She missed her whole family.


Oh yeah things just went in direction even I did not imagine this could possibly go in...oh my goodness, wow these stories really know how to take some surprising turns and catch me by surprise even when I'm expecting something like this to happen. Well quite a horrible fate for these two and the mother just oh well...wasn't expecting a mother to do that but I've come to realize there are pretty much zero good people in these stories.

Then,one day,Esmè found a key in her prison and unlocked the cage.She grabbed two branches and rubbed them together.One branch caught on fire.She dropped the stick to the ground and ran away.

Leona tried to stop her,but it was too late.

Esmè was free,for now..


Ooooh....well, that's a bit of a cliffhanger almost...a glimmer of hope but then immediately the narrator proceeds to remind us that we should not be getting any sort of hope up whatsoever.

But,Leona,in a black dress and cloak this time,came out of the fire and locked her in a cage.This time,there was no key for Esmè to free herself with.

Leona smiled at her.

“Time will pass,but you’ll stay four forever.The only way for this to change is for someone to free you.You’ll stay four when someone frees you,of course.But when they free you,you’ll have the ability to age again.” Leona said.

Esmè didn’t understand what she just said.All she knew was that she would be trapped in this dark circus,forever.

Her life was ruined.

When Leona left her alone in her cage,Esmè cried.How did it ever come to this?!


Oh goodness...well this just gets worse and worse here...and it ends on what feels like it would be a bit of torture for this poor girl for literal eternity it seems if she can't even age...and well this is perhaps the new most depressing ending for one of these backstories. The others at least found some freedom in their deaths where nothing could harm them anymore..but this is ...phew.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I think this was a pretty nice story as all these backstories to tend to be. I'm excited to see what other characters are present in this particular one...this one already seems to be one of the sadder origins here so let's see I suppose. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





find your aesthetic and flaunt it
— manilla