z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Celina’s clown curse from cake

by vampricone6783


*This is the origin story of a character from my story titled “31 horrific Halloween tales”. You may check that story out underneath my folder titled “31 Halloween tales”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Introduction

THE FIRST OF OCTOBER-7:00 A.M.

Celina opened her eyes to the shining sun. It was that time of year again. The time when a chill settled in the air and the apples were a ripening red.

It was the month of All Hallows’ Eve.

Chapter One

RELSON HIGH SCHOOL FRONT STEPS-8:45 A.M.

“Alejandro! Over here!” Celina waved Alejandro over at the Relson high school front steps, where she always waited for him. Sometimes he was late. That didn’t stop her from waiting.

This time, he wasn’t.

He gave a polite wave as he walked up the steps. He never waved his hand with enthusiasm. Matter of fact, he never did anything with enthusiasm.

Chapter Two

“Are you excited for Halloween?” Celina asked as they walked inside. Halloween was always eventful at the town of Relson! People dressed like clowns roamed the woods, real chocolate cake slices were given to trick-or-treaters from the Campbell’s house, and at the theater was the “Best witch” competition.

All in all, a wonderful time for the residents of Relson!

“Yeah, I guess.” Alejandro said, shrugging.

“You guess? You guess?” Celina asked, wide-eyed.

How could he just “guess”? It was a simple yes or no question! The answer was obvious!

“Don’t you think that it’s a bit…much? I mean, Halloween isn’t even supposed to be a big holiday to begin with.”

“So?” Celina asked, stopping him in his tracks. How he could just…she thought that maybe that year would be different for Alejandro.

He stormed right past her.

Chapter Three

IN MATH CLASS-9:00 A.M.

What was his deal? All she did was ask if he was excited about Halloween, why did he storm out?

She’d fail the next day’s Math quiz, but who cared?

Something was wrong with Alejandro.

Chapter Four

AT THE LIBRARY-11:07 A.M.

“What’s wrong?” Celina asked. They were in the library for lunch. It was quieter and a nicer place to hang out than the cafeteria.

Alejandro sighed. Oh boy. What kind of horrible thing would he say next?

“It’s just that…is Halloween even a really big deal?”

So that was what he was huffing and puffing about?

“No, it isn’t. When we’re adults we probably won’t even care about Halloween, but here and now, Halloween is a huge deal. So let’s enjoy it while we can.”

Alejandro wasn’t moved.

“Please? For me?” Celina asked, using the puppy dog eye tactic. It always worked in the movies, maybe it would work in real life.

Alejandro sighed and then smiled.

“Okay. I’ll be excited about it for you.”

“Attaboy!” Celina cried out, smacking his back.

“Shhhh!” Everyone else whisper-yelled.

Oh right. She was in the library.

Chapter Five

WALKING HOME-3:15 P.M.

Celina smiled as she walked past the local Halloween store. She’d make sure to stop there.

Across from the Halloween store was the Campbell’s house.

She’d stop there too, when the right day came.

Chapter Six

AT HOME-4:52 P.M.

Celina had already finished her homework, so what better thing to do than lie on bed and search for Halloween costumes on her phone?

She clicked on the local Halloween store’s website and typed “costumes for teen girls”.

Witch? No, she wasn’t interested in competing.

Ghost? She was a ghost last year.

Creepy doll? Hmm…maybe.

CREEPY CLOWN?!

That was a definite yes! Clowns were wonderful, terrifying, marvelous, confident, strange, and powerful.

The perfect costume!

Chapter Seven

OCTOBER THIRD-THE HALLOWEEN STORE-3:17 P.M.

Celina knew exactly what she wanted now that she was shopping at the Halloween store with Alejandro. She made a beeline for the circus section.

She wished that Alejandro could at least try to look like he was enjoying himself. His negative energy was really unpleasant.

Chapter Eight

3:20 P.M.

“Let’s go.” Alejandro said. She felt a light tap on her shoulder.

Celina turned around, clutching her clown costume and gasped when she saw that Alejandro was holding a costume.

“Is that your Halloween costume?”

“Yes.” He said, showing her the costume.

“What? Vampires are cool. What did you pick out?”

Celina grinned, glad that he asked.

“A clown? You could have been a clown without the costume.” Alejandro said, smirking.

“Very funny, Alejandro. Very funny.” Celina said, rolling her eyes. But despite his comment, she couldn’t resist smiling.

He was kind of getting in the Halloween spirit! That was something!

Chapter Nine

OCTOBER FOURTH-AT THE LIBRARY- 11:02 A.M.

Celina should have been reading a book, but she wasn’t.

She was googling “Things to do for Halloween at Relson” because she wanted to do more than she could ever dream of.

Celina gaped when she saw the top result.

“Clowns spotted in Relson woods on Halloween…”

The article was dated back to last year.

It was completely irrelevant, but interesting.

She clicked on it.

Chapter Ten

“Last Halloween, exactly nineteen clowns were spotted in Relson woods. They were harmless, but disturbed a number of teens who were in the woods. They had to be removed from the woods…”

Celina blinked her eyes. She checked the news outlet that published the article. It wasn’t parody news. It was real.

Why would they do that to the clowns? That was an overreaction. The clowns were just hanging out.

At least Celina had an idea of what to do on Halloween…

Chapter Eleven

“Alejandro! Look.” Celina said, turning the computer towards him.

“What?”

“After we go trick or treating, I’m doing this. I’m going to the woods in my costume.”

“That’s going to cause problems.” Alejandro said.

“Why? I’m just wearing a costume.”

“People don’t like clowns.”

“Whatever. I’m still doing it.”

“Your funeral then.”

Chapter Twelve

THE MORNING OF HALLOWEEN-7:00 A.M.

Celina smiled.

It was finally the day.



Glorious, wondrous, stupendous,  Halloween had arrived upon the dull town of Relson!

Chapter Thirteen

Celina walked past her failed math quiz sitting on her desk. She had bigger things to think about.

She had spooky things to think about.

Chapter Fourteen

AT ALEJANDRO’S FRONT DOOR- 6:15 P.M.

Celina knocked on Alejandro’s front door. She didn’t want to waste a second.

“Nice costume!” A child complemented.

Celina turned around and saw that it was a little boy, dressed like a witch.

“Thank you.” She said, bowing.

Celina smiled at the boy after she was done bowing and said:

“You’ll make a great witch.”

The child grinned and happily skipped away. Alejandro’s door creaked open.

Celina turned around and extended a hand for the vampire to take.

“Let’s get to it!” She exclaimed.

Chapter Fifteen

THE WITCH COMPETITION-7:13 P.M.

Celina stood in the crowd of many onlookers, watching the witches on the stage. Anyone could watch the witch competition. It was a free attraction. Each costume was more fantastically spooky than the last. She smiled, the air of Halloween filling her bones.

Then, the little boy from earlier got up, beaming at the crowd, his black cape and matching pointed hat darker than the night sky.

“And now it’s time to cast your vote!” The MC exclaimed on the speakers after the boy left.

Little boy witch. Celina wrote on the index card she was given.

The man in the ghost costume was moving busily about the crowd, taking the votes (and extra pens) in a cardboard black box. Finally, after what seemed like centuries, he reached Celina and Alejandro. She slipped her vote and pen in the box.

Alejandro didn’t put anything in the box.

“Your vote, young man.”

“I didn’t vote.” Alejandro said.

“Are you sure you don’t want to vote?”

“Yes.”

“Suit yourself.” The ghost man said, walking away with the ballot (and pen) box.

“Why didn’t you vote?”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Check back at 8:30 for the votes!” The MC said after the votes were collected.

“We’re going to the Campbells.” Celina said, grabbing onto Alejandro’s wrist.

He was going to enjoy Halloween! She would make sure of it.

Chapter Sixteen

THE CAMPBELL FRONT DOOR STEPS-7:17 P.M.

Celina tried not to look disappointed as she watched the group of kids leave the front steps of the Campbell’s house. They got jumbo candy bars, not chocolate cake slices.

“Did you really think that they would give out chocolate cake slices?” Alejandro asked, already knowing what she was thinking.

“I guess that it was too much to ask for.” Celina said glumly. She was looking forward to getting a slice of chocolate cake.

“Here you are.” Mr.Campbell said, handing them slices of real chocolate cake.

Celina smiled at the man, hardly believing what was in her hands.

“T-Thank you.” She sputtered.

“Always a pleasure to make kids happy on Halloween.” Mr.Campbell beamed as he closed the door.

She knew that he had cake! She knew it!

Chapter Seventeen

WALKING DOWN THE STREET-7:19 P.M.

“Are you sure that we should eat these? No one hands out cake to trick-or-treaters.” Alejandro said.

Celina was already sinking her teeth into the decadent slice, chocolate icing all over her gloved hands.

“I know. That’s what makes this better. Come on, Alejandro. Just try it.” She said with a mouthful.

He seemed a little wary at first, but then he shrugged, biting into the cake.

Celina smiled. Finally, finally, he was starting to get it!

Chapter Eighteen

7:45 P.M.

“Do you want to…go back to the witch competition?” Celina asked. She wasn’t feeling too good. She felt like she was going to throw up. She only had cake. No candy. Celina was saving that for tomorrow.

“No. We still have hours until the results are up.” Alejandro said.

“Do you feel sick?”

“Yes. Probably because we ate cake slices.”

“So what? They’re good.” Celina said. Sure, she was sick, but she still got to have cake on Halloween.

Celina kneeled down on the ground, clutching her stomach.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

Chapter Nineteen

Celina stared at her pink claws. That’s what they were. No longer hands, but pink claws on the cement.

Alejandro sat next to Celina. At least the pain in her was going away.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” He asked.

“Something was in the cake to make us hallucinate being monsters.” Celina said. That was all that it was. A trick. A hallucination.

“No. We’re monsters.”

Chapter Twenty

Celina got off the ground and began to smile. It was certain. She could feel it in her bones and sense it in the air.

She and Alejandro were monsters.

“Come, Alejandro, there is much to do!” Celina said, taking Alejandro’s hand.

Halloween got a million times better.

Epilogue

Celina and Alejandro lingered in the forest, with their own crew of monsters. Their leader is but a little witch boy.

They had so much planned for the humans…


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
227 Reviews

Points: 32581
Reviews: 227

Donate
Sat Dec 30, 2023 3:10 pm
View Likes
AmayaStatham wrote a review...



Ho ho ho, curious mind!



Amaya here, ready to dive into the pages of this intriguing story. 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause we're diving into my Christmas magic! 🎄

The Jolly-Good Stuff: 🍭

First of all, let's talk about the Holly Jolly parts that really rocked!

It’s always nice to read another origin story of yours, I’m really rooting for you that your stories will once become a tv-series. Another bone chilling story by the one and only Vampricone6783 , every day at six o’clock so the night is near and you get creeped out. Hahahah…

I love the dynamic between an enthusiast and an apathetic in this story. You portrayed that really well by letting Celina’s brightness and excitement bring light and colour to Alejandro’s cold and dullness.

The build up and the pacing of the story is nice and fitting with a great ending. Well done! I think your title is funny because it has four C’s in it. I don’t know if that was intentional, but I like it.

You did a great job with this story again, along with adding realistic elements to the story like a teenage girl scrolling on her phone, dragging her friend to buy costumes and getting all excited. Awesome!

A little more elf-help needed over here:✒️

The following suggestions are merely to help you improve on your writing and not to offend you in any way. Feel free to skip these suggestions, if these are not what you aim for.

I would suggest trying to explore another kind of main character theme, instead of doing boy/girl as main character, why not try a group of children? Perhaps like four or five people/clowns 🤡🤡

Or you could also try to set more than one POV in a story.
For example, instead of just keeping Celine’s POV the entire time, try to change it with Alejandro's or his thoughts/feelings. Maybe change it like: One chapter Celine and another Alejandro’s.

~~~

If you want your title entirely with C’s only. I would suggest you change it to:

Cake: Celina’s Clown Curse



Caroling Angels like the best!💐

This part is my favourite, especially the excitement in the dialogues and thoughts of Celine.

Also because your title gives away the fact that the cake is cursed in some way (which is not bad at all) makes me kind of feel bad/sad for her. She was so sweet and then she had to be cursed, and also Alejandro too.

You did some great thinking, and it paid off. I think if you can make your reader feel that way towards your characters the story is well-written. Great job!!

“Here you are.” Mr.Campbell said, handing them slices of real chocolate cake.

Celina smiled at the man, hardly believing what was in her hands.

“T-Thank you.” She sputtered.

“Always a pleasure to make kids happy on Halloween.” Mr.Campbell beamed as he closed the door.

She knew that he had cake! She knew it!


Overall Christmas does come to an end:

This was another awesome origin story which I’m glad I came across. You have some wild ideas inside that head of yours, but fantastic ones. Nice names and amazing dialogue. You did a great job with this story, applause!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Image




User avatar
151 Reviews

Points: 39462
Reviews: 151

Donate
Thu Dec 28, 2023 11:15 pm
View Likes
PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello friend!
I saw you posted yet another origin story to read and review!


Per my interpretation, this was once again amazing! You did a really great job writing this and providing the background for the characters in a way that was interesting and captivating!

Here we learn about Celina and what leads her to roam the forests. It all starts with her wanting to celebrate Halloween and dragging her friend into it. They get nice costumes and attend the witch competition before heading to a specific house to get chocolate cake. It is there that everything begins its descent into madness.

This was an absolutely stellar plot!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be to not use italics so much. It started to feel like almost every sentence had something italicized in it, and it began to feel a bit overused.

I understand you were using it to emphasize certain things, but you can only emphasize so much before it starts to mean nothing. I mean, if everything's emphasized, nothing really is. So maybe just tone that down a little.

But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, I would pick two! There were a couple things in here that really caught my eye!

The first was when Alejandro agreed to do Halloween stuff with Celina, and Celina made a big deal about it. You said,

“Attaboy!” Celina cried out, smacking his back.

“Shhhh!” Everyone else whisper-yelled.

Oh right. She was in the library.


This felt a bit comedic, in a good way. Library scenes always have so much potential to be funny just because of the atmosphere they create, and you really nailed everything about them, so kudos to you for that!

There were a few other comical parts in this, and they were all really good! But this is just the one I wanted to point out because I thought it spoke really well for the other parts as well.

The second thing I really liked was at the end of the story, when everything kind of comes full circle. You said,

Celina and Alejandro lingered in the forest with their own crew of monsters. Their leader is but a little witch boy.

They had so much planned for the humans…


I thought this was an incredible ending, especially in regards to the fact that it shows how nothing was ever truly as it seemed. It also brought back the little witch boy, who didn't seem to have too much of a purpose in this story, and it was really well executed.

The entire ending to this story was great! It did a good job wrapping up this origin story and tying back into the original, which is exactly what a good origin story should do, so good job with that!


Overall, I thought this was wonderful! There were many great things in here that made it a joy to read and a lot of fun to dive into!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





Ghosts, demons, and ghouls cannot scare the cat's underling.
— TheMulticoloredCyr